Child of Queenscove: Midori
by An Apple Bleeds At Twilight
Summary: After Yuki's death, Neal's daughter wants to train for a shield...Romance will soon follow... LAST CHAPTER IS UP!
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**Snowing**

_--Life_

_The birth of one_

_The loss of another_

_Death--_

Nealan of Queenscove sat in a large armchair, staring into the hearth with his green eyes. The orange flames danced as he stared. When had he felt so bitter, so different and changed?

Sighing, he stood as a child's cries sounded nearby, Midori, the child, looked up at him with her bright green eyes, so like his own, and quieted as Neal picked her up.

"What is it, sprout?" he asked, using his nickname for her.

The small child gazed at the healer innocently for a moment and whined, wanting to be fed. After she was full and he had burped her, Neal placed her back in the bassinet. "She was just hungry," he murmured, chuckling and looked at the one-month old baby, fast asleep.

A knock sounded and Neal opened the door. Kel stood in the frame, her Yamani mask showing no emotion. "How is she?" the lady knight asked.

"Just fell asleep," Neal whispered.

Kel nodded. "And you?"

"Not so good. The flames offer no warmth," Neal told her, but knowing him, Kel understood he wasn't talking about the fire.

"It's been so long, almost a month Kel. Can't believe it myself…" he continued. "I feel cold inside"

Neal remembered being in the infirmary, a month ago, when Kel had rushed in…

* * *

**FLASHBACK **

_Neal placed a few more jars and rolls of bandages on the shelves and turned when he heard footsteps. It was Kel. She looked frightened, her Yamani mask supposedly forgotten. _

_"Kel? What's wrong" _

_"It's Yuki, her labor's begun!" Kel stated. _

_"But she's--" Neal began. He trailed off and a cold hand squeezed his heart. Neal grabbed a bag of supplies and hurried outside. _

_Shinko looked up, relieved to see that Kel had found Neal. _

_"How long?" Neal asked, kneeling beside his wife. _

_"Just begun," Shinko told him. _

"_Good. Yuki?" Neal grasped his wife's hand._

_A pale, panting Yuki opened her eyes and smiled. "Neal…"_

_He beamed at her in reassurance. "Your doing fine, love"

* * *

_

_Hours had soon passed and the contractions more painful. Yuki, sobbing and tired, bit back a scream as another contraction ripped through her body._

_Neal was scared for Yuki. She had lost so much blood and the contractions were taking their toll on her. She was dying…_

_He felt hot tears on his cheek and winced as Yuki let out a blood-chilling scream and gasped as the pain suddenly stopped. She heard the wailing of a newborn and then all went black as her eyes glazed over._

_Grinning like a madman and laughing in happiness, Neal wrapped the babe in a towel and looked at Yuki. _

_But his smile faded and his laughter quieted. Neal panicked as he felt for Yuki's pulse and touched her skin._

_Silent._

_Cold._

"_She was innocent…" "Yuki," he murmured, sorrowfully, closing her glassy eyes. _

**END FLASHBACK

* * *

**

"Neal?" Kel asked. "You're daydreaming"

Neal shook his head to clear it and sighed. "She's dead Kel…"

"I know,"

_I caused it_ Neal thought. _Yuki's dead because of me_

As if she read his mind, Kel put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Don't blame yourself--"

"But Kel--" Neal protested.

"Let me finish will you!" Kel gave him a stern look. "Yuki's still with you, even though she's not here physically she--" Kel threw he arms up in frustration and slipped on her Yamani mask. "Look at yourself…"

"Wha--" Neal was then forced to turn to a mirror and looked at his reflection in surprise.

His clothes were wrinkled; his hair was disheveled, dark bags rested under his dull green, exhausted eyes.

"I look like a drunkard," he plainly stated.

Kel hid a smile, this was the Neal she knew, and his humor hadn't changed.

"You do Meathead" Kel whispered, glad to lighten the mood even if it only was for the moment.

"I'm sure Yuki--" he swallowed hard. "Would have loved to see Midori…"

"She's got your eyes, that's for sure" Kel nodded.

"Yes. Do you know why I chose that name?" Neal inquired.

"Why?"

"Yuki's name means _snow_ and Midori means _green_…after the hard winters, spring comes again with green grass" "The changing of the seasons, but in this case, the death of one generation to let another generation live…" Neal explained.

"I never thought of it that way" Kel admitted.

"Neither had I…not until now" Neal confessed. "It's a rather nice way to put it, now that I think of it, the changing of the seasons"

Kel's eyes then went wide and she smiled. "Look Neal, it's snowing"

The healer looked out the window and grinned. "It is…"

Neal picked Midori up as she began to fuss. "Look sprout, it's snowing" Neal grinned, pointing to the window as the baby's eyes twinkled.

Kel left to the practice courts, saying she'd meet up with him at the mess hall later. He nodded and turned back to the window. He smiled tenderly as he looked out to the falling flurries.

_Cold. _

_Silent._

_Innocent._

_Yuki._


	2. Chapter 2: Don't Give Her Ideas, Kel

**Chapter 2**

Neal leaned on the windowsill, staring out to his daughter playing in the snow with Merric's daughter, Amyl. The snow fell lightly and the wind was a biting chill, but despite that they kept warm by running around and playing a game of snow war. It was a childish game where one of them would pretend to defend her fortress from the other, throwing snow balls as weapons, until one of them fell over, pretending to be 'dead'

It had been ten years since Yukimi's death and Midori had grown. Her black hair tumbled around her round creamy-brown-skinned face, the cold pinking her cheeks; her green eyes were bright with life.

She had not inherited Neal's healing Gift but was quick to learn with the glaive, taught to her by Kel.

"It's ironic isn't it Yuki?" Neal whispered, to nothing in particular, "She doesn't like the spring much but loves playing in the snow..."

"It is ironic" said a voice.

Neal whirled around but was met by Kel's hazel eyes, his face fell, but he smiled nonetheless. "She could be a fine lady knight someday" she remarked casually.

Neal frowned. "Oh no, don't put any ideas in her head! She's not—I'm not losing her in the field, I'm not going to lose a daughter too..." He trailed off.

Kel sighed, seeing his pain. "Neal..."

"No, Kel. Just don't put that idea in her head"

His dread was clear; she could see it in his eyes. "She's already got the idea, Neal, with her father being a healer _and_ a knight..." the lady knight whispered.

"No"

"You remember the prophecy?" Kel asked.

Neal was slightly taken aback by this sudden change of topics but knew where this would lead. Rolling his eyes he turned and faced the window once more. Kel would not convince him, he was sure of this.

"Just think about it, alright?"

He heard the scuffling of feet and the soft click of the door being shut.

When he was sure Kel had left, Neal propped his elbow on the sill and put his forehead on his hand. "I don't know what to do, Yuki...should I let her? Should I let Midori train?"

The fading fire suddenly flared to life, then died as quickly as it had flickered. Neal sighed and shrugged. "I guess you say I should then?"

The fire was silent.

"I'll think about it" he whispered.


	3. Chapter 3: News

Chapter 3 

Neal sat in a large armchair, reading a book. He looked up when he heard the door open. Midori then rushed in with Amyl and grinned, "Da, guess what!" she exclaimed.

"What is it?" Neal asked, curious.

"Amyl's going train as a knight like Kel and the Lioness! She said Merric's going let her"

Neal's face went blank. "Is that so?" he inquired.

Amyl nodded. "Da said I could"

"Can I train with her?" Midori's face was filled with a glowing hope that Neal fought to refuse. Did she understand that there would be endless teasing and hard work and the horror of the Chamber?

A cold shiver slid down Neal's spine. _No, say no. She doesn't understand what she's saying._ He thought.

"Can I?" Midori repeated.

Neal gazed at Midori and was reminded vividly of her mother. The pain of heartbreak still ripped at his spirit, he didn't want his daughter to be killed in battle or have her heart split as well. He saw it in her eyes that she wanted this more then anything and it pained him to deny her the dream.

Kel leaned in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest as if waiting for him to answer. Amyl, Neal and Midori didn't notice her.

"Why?" Neal asked.

"Because I want to become a pillar for the family's honor. Like you are" Midori stuck out her chin stubbornly, and crossed her arms.

"Listen sprout, training will be hard"

"I'll train harder if I have to, Kel will help me!" Midori's eyes glinted with anticipation.

Neal rubbed the back of his neck. "The Chamber of Ordeal--"

"That box of magic doesn't scare me!" Midori sneered.

"That Chamber chewed me up and spat me out, Midori, it could kill you"

"I'm not afraid of dying for my dream…" Midori whispered.

Neal sighed, knowing she had won this time, "Pack your things, we leave in a day's time"

Grinning from ear to ear and hugging her father tight, she then let him go and ran from the room to pack.

"You did a good thing, letting her train" murmured Kel as she left to help Midori pack.

Kel had taken Midori in as a daughter. Though she did want a child of her own, she knew not to inquire Dom, her lover, about marriage and children. He was still saddened of her miscarriage two years earlier, and she didn't blame him and, besides, she knew soldiers in the Own were not allowed to marry so why was her situation any different?

"Have you seen your favorite person lately?" Midori inquired.

Not expecting such a personal question, Kel awkwardly blushed which made the girl smirk.

"Not recently, he's been busy with the Own" she replied.

For the next hour they talked and packed up Midori's things.

Kel was about to pick up a familiar Yamani fan when Midori stopped her. "No, don't touch that…" she ordered in barely a whisper.

The lady knight, realizing whose it was, quickly nodded and let Midori place it in a small chest, which she then placed in a large trunk.

"It was my ma's" Midori sighed. "I never knew her…"

Kel nodded, understanding the girl's pain of uncertainty. "I knew your mother, she was a good friend of mine"

"Did she want a daughter?"

"I think she knew before you were born," Kel then slipped on her Yamani mask and continued to pack, silent.

Kel was brought vividly back to the Scanran war and Irnai's words to her:

"If he's like this now, how will he stay calm when his daughter tries for her

Knighthood?"

Well he has let her train thought Kel and shrugged.

Neal leaned in the door of Midori's room and let a quiet sigh escape his lips. Neal had repeated Irnai's words, from Kel, to Yuki. Yuki had told him that if the child seer's words were true, she wanted Neal to let her daughter achieve her dream.

And then he had lost her.

Had Irnai or Kel known what would happen at Midori's birth?

He hadn't known either but wished he could have saved her, poured out his Gift until he collapsed to rescue his beloved from death.

But no.

He hadn't.

Neal watched, feeling numb as Midori hugged him again and hurried to saddle her white pony, Yukiko, which meant in Yamani: snow child.

Once she had mounted, Kel saddled Peachblossom and rode out of Queenscove beside Midori.

"Goodbye sprout…"


	4. Chapter 4: Friends, Sponsors and Enemies

**Chapter 4**

**4 days later…**

As Kel and Midori came closer to the castle, Midori stared in awe of the size of it.

Seeing Midori's surprised look, Kel chuckled. "You'll get used to the castle after a while"

Midori smiled timidly but slipped on her mask. Kel had taught her many of the Yamani traditions since she was small and the mask was no different then slipping on boots for a ride.

They halted at the main gates and stated their business and names to the watchmen and galloped inside.

"Kel!" shouted a voice.

Kel turned to see a familiar man walk toward her and Midori. "Dom" she smiled at him, she dismounted and was caught up in a fierce hug.

Dom then noticed Midori, who was dismounting her pony. "Midori you've surely grown"

Midori nodded warily, saying nothing.

"How is Sir Meathead?" Dom grinned, while he led them to the stables, Kel with Peachblossom and Midori with Yukiko.

"Fine" Midori whispered not facing the sergeant.

"Dom" Kel whispered, giving him a warning look.

The sergeant nodded and asked how their ride to Corus had been.

"We had good weather except for the second day," Midori piped up. "It rained hard, and turned to hail"

Dom laughed and took them inside, taking about the Own and some of the new pages he had seen.

Once they had settled their horses, Kel took Midori straight to the new training master's office.

The master, Ceylon Willowware, was a lean man with bright brown eyes, a long nose, and pale skin, his robe was of fine white silk and his voice was calm. "Midori of Queenscove" Ceylon studied the girl with skeptical eyes. Midori kept a straight face as he examined her.

Finally the training master stood from his seat and ordered Midori to turn slowly. As she turned, Ceylon nodded. "She's been bred and taught well, I see" "Who are her parents, certainly not Sir Nealan of Queenscove?"

Midori nodded, keeping her eyes on the wood floor.

"You may stop turning." Ceylon turned to Kel. "Are you her mother?"

"No sir, a friend of the family" the lady knight answered.

"Who was her mother?"

Midori's ears pricked up as Kel spoke. "Yukimi of Queenscove, my lord"

"Lady Yukimi? Well, the daughter of a Yamani how is it that she knows so much of the traditions when her mother is dead?" Ceylon asked, his straight eyebrows rose.

"I have taught her what her mother would have" Kel nodded, stepping up and taking Midori's shoulders in both her hands. Midori felt the lady knight give her reassurance as Ceylon faced her with a serious expression.

"Midori, you do realize you will be prompted to be taught the use of your Gift--"

"I have no Gift, sir" Midori said.

"Pardon?" the training master asked, sounding surprised.

"I have no Gift" Midori repeated. "My mother did not have the Gift, only father and grandda have it"

"Well, another surprise" chuckled Ceylon. The man then held out his hand, "Welcome Page Midori"

Midori shook it warmly and was asked to follow a maid to her rooms.

Opening the door, Midori saw that it was a plain room with a bed, night table a small desk and chair, and another door leading to the privy.

A page uniform was placed on the bed. Kel just chuckled when Midori had asked her how they knew her sizes.

The maid handed her the key and told her to be ready for dinner in fifteen minutes, so they could pick the sponsors for them.

Midori nodded and smiled as the maid hurried down the hall. Midori turned to Kel and hugged her tight around the waist. "Thanks" she murmured.

Kel kneeled so that she could speak to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Your mother would be so proud to see you now. Good luck"

The lady knight stood and left. Midori hurried and unpacked her things, putting clothes in a wardrobe and dragging the trunk to the foot of the bed, she decided to unpack it later.

Putting on her page uniform of a crisp white shirt, green tunic and dark brown leggings as she brushed out her long black hair, she thought if there were any other girl pages.

Suddenly there was a brisk knock at her door and a voice barked. "Pages assemble for sponsoring!"

Taking one last look in a mirror she drew in a deep breath and stepped out into the hall. There were in fact two other girls. One with light brown hair and honey-colored eyes, the other had blonde hair and pale silver eyes. Midori also noticed Amyl further down the hallway looking as scared as she was.

Some of the boys snickered and pointed, one in particular stood silent and self-assured in a dark corner. He was a light-skinned black, when he glanced her way she felt her stomach flip, as he looked at her with dark brown eyes, she smiled at him and he grinned shyly.

She saw Ceylon step up and call up the pages, asking for their name and fief. The blonde, silver-eyed girl was Oriana of Galla and the brown haired honey-eyed girl was Sheba of Blue Harbor. They received their sponsors and joined the others in a group.

The silent boy was Kalen of the Bloody Hawk, a Bazhir tribe of the Southern Desert. His sponsor was chosen and Midori was called up.

She stood beside the training master as he called out. "Who will sponsor Midori of Queenscove?"

No hands.

Her hopes sank.

"No one will sponsor Queenscove?"

No hands.

Midori's hopes plummeted further.

Finally one hand was raised, a lanky third year page stepped forward.

"So Emrys of Northwatch, you will sponsor Midori?" Ceylon asked.

"I will," said Emrys.

"Good," commented Ceylon. "Sponsors and pages are required to sit together, and afterwards give a tour of the castle"

The sponsors and pages headed to the mess hall, piled food onto their trays and sat down.

Midori was silent for the start of the meal before Oriana began talking to her. "It's Midori right?"

Midori nodded.

"I heard that name means '_green_' in Yamani." Sheba piped up.

Midori nodded again.

"It's nice" Emrys remarked. Noticing how shy Midori had been he tried to reassure her. "Don't be so shy, everyone's as nervous as you"

Midori looked up and met their eyes squarely. "All I want is to make my da proud"

Confused at this statement, Sheba looked at the other three for clarification but they looked as puzzled as she did.

Midori then stood from the table and left. Emrys, Sheba and Oriana followed silently.

The girl walked aimlessly though the halls and followed the sound of horses. Outside she walked to the stables, she smelt the sweet smell of fresh hay and heard the familiar neigh of her pony.

She grinned and ran toward the pony's stall, the pony butted her in the chest as she rubbed its nose. "You're a good girl," Midori crooned.

Yukiko then stomped her hooves in worry and snorted. Midori turned around and cried out in pain as a fist contacted with her nose, breaking it with a dull crunch and she stumbled as someone kicked her in the stomach. She looked up to see a blonde-headed second-year boy with piercing blue eyes staring down at her, two others stood beside him, she stared back at the dirt, clutching her stomach, tears pricking at her eyes.

Grabbing a fistful of her hair he forced her head up and punched her in the eye. Laughing as she begged for them to stop, the blonde boy kneeled to whisper in her ear.

"That's for beating up my uncle and for making him die in the Chamber… remember this daughter of Queenscove, I'm not pathetic like you and your little friends, us people of Stone Mountain are proud and deserve _respect!_" With that he slapped her on the cheek and spat at her feet. "Weakling spawn"

Emrys' voice sounded nearby. "Leave her alone, Jarvis!"

"And what will you do if I don't Northern-boy?" Jarvis, the fair-haired boy taunted.

"What has she ever done to you?" Oriana demanded, her silver eyes burning with loathing, hands at her hips.

Amyl followed Sheba who stood beside Emrys, when Amyl saw Midori's condition she ran to her friend's side.

"Get her to Baird," Sheba told Amyl as Oriana helped Midori up.

"So much for a good day" Midori murmured, being supported between Amyl and Oriana.

Amyl passed her a handkerchief. "Stop the blood first, then explain," she told her friend.

Pinching her broken nose hurt, so she dabbed at the blood on her face, while trying to explain what had happened.

"Selfish brute!" hissed Oriana. "If he hurts you like this again, you can stick with us"

"Thanks" Midori smiled.

Amyl nodded, "I guess we're friends then?"

Oriana laughed. "Amyl, when I said you two could stick with me, Sheba and Emrys, I meant we are friends for life. It's a common pact"

Amyl blushed.

Oriana smiled, "It's alright. Someone has to stick up for you two, seeing as you are the daughters of two of Jarvis' uncle, Joren's enemies. Merric and Neal"

"Midori, you look pale. Are you alright?" Amyl asked.

"I think it's just shock" Oriana replied, noticing the color had drained from her green-eyed friend's face. "We should hurry before she passes out"

Midori's knees then buckled and she collapsed, dragging the two girl's down with her. "Oh gods" grunted Amyl as she tried to stand.

"Here, Emrys and Sheba are coming, they'll help" Oriana told Amyl.

"Oh no" Emrys murmured as he saw Midori's unconscious form in the grass. Sheba gasped.

Emrys then ordered Amyl to find her father or a healer and to meet them in the infirmary.

**A/N: I'm stuck on what should happen next, any ideas? And what should be the pairing for when Midori is older?**

**- AW1**


	5. Chapter 5: Time Change

Chapter 5 

Neal looked ready to kill when Merric had finished speaking. Merric put an arm around his daughter who was shaking and led her to a chair. Emrys ran a hand though his black hair; his hazel eyes worried, Oriana put a hand on his shoulder.

"She's in a deep sleep now Neal" Merric told him. "Your father patched her up"

"No, Merric…she's in a coma and…slipping away. Father told me," Neal whispered, fighting back tears. He put his head in his hands and sighed heavily, collapsing in a chair. "Who did this?" he demanded softly.

Amyl looked up, pale blue eyes filling with tears. "Jarvis of Stone Mountain"

Both Merric and Neal looked dazed for a minute. Their nemesis' bloodline had continued.

"Oh gods!" Neal whispered, stood from the chair and walked inside the infirmary. The others stood to follow but Merric shook his head, Neal had to speak with his daughter alone.

In the infirmary 

"Sprout?" Neal whispered, grasping her hand.

Midori shuddered at her father's voice; Neal realized it was bringing her out of the deep coma. He continued, "That boy could've killed you today…" "I could take you out of this, you know?" "Listen sprout, I just don't want you getting killed"

Midori then spoke. "I know da. I told you I'd train hard and I will…" She slipped back into unconsciousness.

"Don't let go…" Neal then placed his two forefingers on her forehead and anchored himself to the living and attached a strong rope of green to the light of her flickering life force. "Don't let go of me," he murmured, pulling her life force from death's grip.

In Midori's mind… 

_Midori fell into a river of black and sank as an invisible hand pulled her under; choking on the foul water she felt a cold hand rest on her shoulder. The flaring, flame red eyes hypnotized her. It was the Black God._

_The god of death cupped her cheek. "You look so much like you mother, and yet you are still young," the god whispered. "Come child…your dream was a hopeless dream, it killed you"_

"_You dare lie to a child, brother?" demanded a voice that sounded like the barking of hounds. "Her father needs her, her friends need her…" A woman appeared, pale skin glimmering and deep emerald eyes questioning. "I cannot tell your future but I can do something for you, child?"_

_Midori nodded, speechless._

_The Great Mother continued, "I want you to imagine yourself back in the that infirmary…five years later, you will remember everything from your page years, the training and lectures…"_

_Midori felt a hand on her shoulder and all of a sudden, before she could say anything, she felt her body being torn from the ground; a soundless scream tore at her throat as she fell… _

Infirmary 

Midori woke, gasping, to bright mage lights and the soft sound of breathing. Turning her head slightly she saw her father sleeping, his head on the bed, and one hand grasping hers.

"Da?" she whispered, voice hoarse.

Baird looked at her and chuckled. "He won't wake for a while, collapsed while using his Gift." Midori groaned as she sat up and as Baird took a step back. "What in Mithros' name--"

Midori glanced at her hands, moving her other hand from her father's grip, and wondered had they been that calloused before and her fingers that long?

Midori then threw back the sheets and stood near a mirror, not believing what she saw.

She had grown considerably. She guessed she was about fifteen summers. Her page's uniform had been replaced with that of a squire's.

Realization then dawned on her. She was a squire! To whom she did not know, but she guessed it was someone from the fief Jesslaw.

That meant if she were now a squire, then Emrys, her first year sponsor, would be a knight. She felt a sudden pang of loneliness and remembered Amyl, Oriana and Sheba.

She had to quickly find them and explain. Midori ran out of the infirmary, ignoring the protests of her grandfather.

A voice whispered in her mind, _"They will remember you, daughter, but you've been with them ever since page hood"_

She found them sitting by the practice courts. "Thank the gods I've found you!"

Amyl smiled at her childhood friend and invited her to sit down. Oriana was dueling with Emrys, their practice swords a blur in the early morning light.

"She's pretty good" Midori commented.

"Oriana's been practicing a lot" piped up Amyl.

"Emrys! Let me have a go!" shouted a boy.

Midori turned to see a light-skinned black man of 16 walk over to them.

"Pick your challenger, then Kalen" Emrys grinned.

"I choose Midori of Queenscove, if she'd be so kind" Kalen grinned flirtatiously.

Midori's stomach did funny things as he passed her a practice sword and their hands brushed, for the barest of seconds, still she blushed. "I would be honored"

"Quit flirting you two and get on with it" Emrys joked.

Nodding she stood and rested her blade against Kalen's. Without warning, Kalen lunged and sidestepped and blocked as Midori blocked and let her blade swing in a wide butterfly sweep.

Kalen and Midori found themselves hilt to hilt. Midori found her face felt suddenly warm and a lightheaded feeling overcame her. Kalen grinned and brought his heigh and weight to bear down on the smaller woman.

Midori stood her ground but her knees collapsed and she felt the practice sword's blade at her throat.

"Does milady surrender?" Kalen asked, a smile tugging at his lips, a strange glint in his dark eyes.

"I do"

As they headed to the mess hall, Amyl and Sheba congratulated Midori in the fair fight and Midori scoffed as Oriana came up behind her and whispered. "I think Kalen has his eyes on you"

"Oh Midori you are so lucky" squealed Amyl as she wrapped her arms around her friend's neck in a half-hug.

"_This could get interesting" _Midori thought as she joked with her friends.


	6. Chapter 6: Flashbacks

**Chapter 6**

**A/N: Yes. I figured Chapter 5 would be confusing with the time change, but this chap will fill in the gaps and hopefully make sense.**

Midori went to rest in her room, saying she felt dizzy and needed to sleep, and quickly turned to the mirror on the wall.

"Goddess, I feel so confused...what happened to change me?"

A familiar voice whispered. "If you must know what has happened. Let my brother show you..."

Midori suddenly felt a drugged sleep induce her to rest. Her eyes drooped and she felt her body slump to the floor.

**_FLASHBACK_**

_Midori found herself as page again, with Emrys and the others, books on curses and immortals and their notes on parchment, littering the floor. It was a day after the fight in the stables._

"_Did you see Jarvis' face when he was sent to clean the armory?" Amyl giggled. Midori nodded, nose buried in a book, almost finished with her essay on different immortals and their magic's. _

_After Emrys had ordered Midori taken to the healers, he and Sheba told the training master what had happened and Ceylon, quite disappointed in Jarvis, sent him to clean the armor for a full bell the next morning._

_**END FLASHBACK**_

15 year old Midori, still drugged with the Dreamking's visions, began to remember meeting Kalen for the first time...

_**FLASHBACK**_

_Emrys and the others were sitting in the mess hall, talking about how much homework had been given and the difficulty of mastering the sword and the bow._

"_I find the sword is the easiest" Oriana said, cutting her meat._

"_The bow is probably my best weapon" Amyl replied._

"_I find both are mastered by different people" Emrys added. "What's your best weapon, Midori?"_

"_The glaive. It's been used by the Yamani's for a long time, Lady Kel taught me" Midori explained._

_Sheba elbowed Emrys in the ribs, which made him nearly choke on the juice he had been drinking._

"_Why don't you go ask him to sit with us?" Sheba inquired, pointing to a boy who sat in the corner, alone._

"_Who?" Emrys asked_

"_Him" Sheba pointed again to direct Emrys._

_Emrys grinned, stood from his seat, and walked over to the boy._

_A few moments later, the boy stood and followed Emrys to their table and sat down._

"_I guess...I should go then" he murmured, not looking at the group._

_Midori found she put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "No, please do stay"_

_The boy sighed heavily and introduced himself. "I'm Kalen Haimaid of the Bloody Hawk"_

_The group then introduced themselves and continued their discussion. Midori could only wonder if Kalen would come out of his shell, she hesitated and began. "Do you like riding?"_

_Kalen looked up and once again, Midori's stomach did funny things as he replied, "Sometimes"_

_**END FLASHBACK**_

Midori sighed as she felt her dream self move with the glaive she was practicing...weapon training and surprising news...

_**FLASHBACK**_

_Ceylon barked out orders as the pages practiced with wooden staffs. Midori yelped as the staff accidentally hit her knuckles for the fourth time that day._

"_Where's Lady Kel" a page asked. Kel had been missing for some time now; she would have trained the pages on staff work._

"_She's on something we call a maternity leave" Ceylon explained. "Sergeant Domitan has also been granted permission to marry her" Ceylon winked at Midori, knowing she'd be a first cousin soon, since Dom and Neal were cousins._

_For the rest of the day, Midori was in a good mood, training until she either was too exhausted or collapsed from the amount of work._

_Her friends had told her to stop this constant training, but she continued to do anyways, working hard on her studies and training._

_**END FLASHBACK**_

Midori opened her eyes and found herself back in her room. Stiffly she got up and rubbed her temples. "That is the last time I work that hard" she mumbled.

"_Owen of Jesslaw is your knight master, child. He will work you to become a fine lady knight" _explained the Great Mother. Slowly her presence faded and with it the sudden exhaustion and dizziness she had felt earlier.

"Owen of Jesslaw?" "This could be a jolly squire hood" she mumbled, chuckling to her self and taking her glaive from their hooks on the wall to begin a pattern dance.

Once she had finished, she remembered when Kel had come with Dom to the palace to visit the year before. She and Neal were surprised to find Kel holding a two year old boy in her arms. She had learned that Dom and Kel were married and the boy was named Shalem.

She also remembered when Kel had come to teach Midori more about weaponry and how to throw the _shukusen _properly. Dom had watched a safe distance away, with Shale sitting on his knee. Midori had laughed when Shale had held out his hand asking her to hold it after her practice.

"He's a sweet little cousin" she chuckled and opened the window to let in some air. Few sparrows from Kel's flock flew around her head, chirping and whistling.

"_I suppose the rest of my journey is going to be easy...unless Jarvis has a another plan cooking in his dark mind" _She thought, putting bowls of water and seeds on the windowsill and watching as the sparrows ate and drank from them.


	7. Chapter 7: Discussions

Chapter 7

One winter morning, there was a brisk knocking at her door, and Midori quickly changed into her squire uniform and opened the door to admit a tall, red haired man.

The man looked around her room. "Well I see, Squire Midori, you keep a clean quarters...that's good. I'm Owen of Jesslaw, your knight master" Owen held out his hand.

Midori shook it warmly and grinned as Owen put a hand on her shoulder and told her to meet him in the practice courts after they had eaten.

Down in the mess hall, Midori was so excited she could hardly eat. Sheba rolled her eyes and took the bowl of porridge that Midori had been trying to eat, away.

"If you're not going to eat, you might as well go meet him" she told her friend.

Midori nodded and stood, quickly heading to the practice courts.

Once there, she grabbed a practice sword and tacked up her horse. She tried a few practice swings and pretended to be in battle with an imaginary Scanran.

"Take that and that" she whispered, swinging the blade as if in combat. She tugged at the reins of her horse to get Yukiko to turn.

She was so caught up in the make-believe fight that she didn't realize that Owen had rode up to her, practice sword in hand and was now hilt to hilt with her. Midori gasped, and nearly dropped the practice sword. "Sir Owen"

The man laughed "It's just Owen. This is a good thing to practice, trying to stay on the saddle while in battle, you'll use it more often then you will on ground, balancing both of course."

Midori chuckled, "Then Sir—Owen—I challenge you to a duel...on horseback"

"Very well then Midori, I accept with a jolly yes" Owen grinned as Midori dismounted and went to put on padding for herself.

As Owen and Midori began, a pair of ice-blue eyes watched from a distance, a wicked smile on his face. "I have to get rid of her," murmured the boy, crossing his arms over his chest. Turning to his two cronies, the boy sneered and asked one, a tall boy named Victor of Cria, if he had the Gift.

"I do" Victor replied.

"What do you suppose we do?" the other boy asked.

"That's easy boys, when she goes skating with the others tomorrow, you Victor break the ice with your Gift and...We watch the fun" Jarvis smirked and turned away from the green-eyed squire and her knight master.


	8. Chapter 8: Skating and Love?

**Chapter 8**

**SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING!**

Midori woke up before dawn the next morning and decided against going back to sleep. There was really no point.

So she quickly got up and made her bed, dressed in her uniform and did her morning routine of cleaning her teeth, brushing her hair, and practicing with her glaive. Glancing out her window, she noticed that a thin frost had formed on the windowpane, hinting that a cold night had hit them.

She searched in her trunk for her warm clothing and paused when her hand brushed what felt like tightly woven cloth, she pulled it out and noticed it was a group of Yamani poems stitched into white linen with green thread, they seem to connect into one winding conclusion.

She could just translate a few of the words on her own, and yet she understood the full poem:

_If I gave my life_

_Would it be enough for you?_

_Enough to hold and bear_

She read the second poem:

_Courage comes from within you_

_Though you may not see it there_

_It guards you, daughter_

She kept reading:

_Take up your blade. Kill_

_Take up your shield and defend them_

_Take up your heart. Love_

The last she remembered:

_If you shall die here_

_Know that he loves and remembers you_

_Even now as night dawns_

Slightly dazed from what she read, Midori continued searching and found what she needed: a wool sweater, boots and coat.

Exiting and locking her door, she begged the cook for a bun and a slab of meat and a few raw carrots. She made a sandwich and walked to the stables, eating on her way, the carrots she saved for Yukiko.

"You're not the only one who rides before dawn, 'Green-eyes'" a deep voice stated, sounding amused.

The mage lights illuminated his kind face and Midori couldn't help but grin as he continued saddling up his black charger—a mare named Velvet. "Well Kalen, I had to give up extra hours of sleep, you know"

Kalen chuckled and took Velvet's lead rein, facing the woman he asked, "Do you want to ride in the forest?"

"Sure, I'd love to" she replied.

As both mounted and began toward the mouth of the Royal Forest, Kalen looked out to the white- gold light of dawn that was just kissing the top of a low hill. "You know there's a Midwinter ball coming up?"

"Yes?"

"Well I'd like...like to escort you" he whispered.

"You would? After almost no one would sponsor me the first day?"

"That was five _years_ ago, Midori, you've changed since then..."

Midori almost halted Yukiko in mid-gallop, the way he had said her name, with a soft tenderness, gave her a sweet taste in her mouth as if his words were a tasty meal and she a hungry beggar.

But if his tone was true, then why did she have a lingering doubt? Of course his choice of words had possibly meant nothing and he had just made a kind statement to lift her spirits, but then again...

They rode in silence for another ten minutes and finally Midori mustered up the courage to ask him: "Have you ever been in love?"

"Me? No, but it seems nice in fables, the way they describe it. The moonlit nights, soft music playing, a perfect silence, no words needed...I guess love is what you call an indescribable feeling, it's too difficult to comprehend and yet our hearts understand entirely..."

"That's an interesting way to put it" Midori commented, watching as the snow fell lightly around them and melted as they landed on her coat. She had brought no gloves in her hurry to go riding, and her hands felt like ice. She rubbed them together to keep them warm.

"You need your hands to control the reins" Kalen whispered. "Here, borrow my gloves" he handed her a pair of leather gloves, which she took gratefully.

They rode and talked for another twenty minutes before heading back to give their mounts a rest. Midori took off the gloves and handed them back to Kalen, who shook his head, "Keep them, you might need them later..."

After lunch in the mess hall, Midori and the others talked about the skating event that was to happen soon, in honor of midwinter and to just have some fun, they agreed to meet with their skates at the edge of the frozen pond in five minutes.

Midori remembered to bring her own gloves this time and placed Kalen's pair in her trunk, where a pair of skates sat propped up against a few books. She hurried outside and greeted the others with a wave as she sat on a log and removed her boots to slip on the skates, which were just warm calf-high boots with blades magiked to the bottom of the sole.

Wobbling slightly on the thin blades, while Emrys, Amyl, Kalen, Oraina, and Sheba glided almost effortlessly across the ice, she envied them. She tried to copy them and instead fell on her back, with a gasp of fright. Midori laughed at how stupid she must've looked and tried to stand, she succeeded in standing and turned to see Amyl holding her steady, "It's easy, Midori" she encouraged.

"I haven't skated in years!" Midori grinned, and gasped again as she slipped but caught her balance, with Amyl's help.

"It's easy, all you have to do is imagine you're in boots and that you're floating..." Amyl replied, "Try it"

Midori nodded and closed her eyes, she slid one foot forward and then the other, and soon she opened her eyes and smiled as she continued across the pond. She turned sharply and stopped in the middle of the pond. "I did it" she whispered, proud of herself.

But what she didn't notice, nor hear, was the sharp sounds of crackling.

Then she felt someone push her backwards--a splitting sound, and a splash soon followed by a surge of panic—the ice had broken. Midori sat up and frantically looked around. Only four of the five of her friends were seen. She felt a rush of horror catch in her throat, an overwhelming sense that choked her.

_If I gave my life_

_Would it be enough for you?_

_Enough to hold and bear_

She scrambled to her knees, digging away the snow that covered the frozen surface of ice, trying desperately to find her friend. Tears pricked at her eyes as she imagined him, searching frantically for the air hole, in fear of dying...

No.

She wouldn't let that happen.

She pounded hopelessly on the ice, panting, and tears pouring down her cheeks at her own failure.

Suddenly she saw him in the mirror-like ice and scrambled to her feet, she saw a large piece of ice had broken off and left a hole...

Midori threw off her boots and, hearing the cries of her friends, she dove into the frigid pond water, not caring if she only wore thin layers to keep her slightly warm. The cold hit her like a thousand knives or a thousand snake fangs, numbing her body from head to toe. Opening her eyes to the murky water, she saw him swimming, or rather drifting, not too far off.

Using powerful strokes, Midori reached to him and took his wrist, he turned and she gestured for him to follow her, nodding and gripping onto her wrist he helped both to where Midori had last seen the hole. But where was it now? She couldn't find it, it had disappeared...

_Courage comes from within you_

_Though you may not see it there_

_It guards you, daughter_

Her supply of oxygen was flickering, fading. But he needed it more. Midori then, without thinking, cupped his cheeks in her hands and kissed him softly, letting the air pass through her cold lips to his mouth. With her air spent, she felt her eyes close and her body fall into unconsciousness.

With the extra oxygen, Kalen managed to find the hole and with Midori cradled in his arms, he brought her and himself to the surface. As Emrys and Oraina helped him out of the water, Amyl ran to get help while Sheba placed Midori on the ground, wrapping her coat around he friend.

Almost a minute after Amyl came running back with Alanna, and Neal. All looked anxious and immediately Alanna took control of the situation, "Stand back all of you," Alanna kneeled next to Midori and let her violet Gift flow through Midori. _"Goddess, please help her..."_ the lady knight silently prayed.

Neal brought Kalen a blanket which he took and wrapped around his shoulders with a murmured thanks, "She saved my life, I would be dead now, if it weren't for her..."

_If you shall die here_

_Know that he loves and remembers you_

_Even now as night dawns_

Amyl bit her lip in worry, Oraina snuggled closer into Emrys' shoulder in need of comfort, and Sheba silently prayed to all the gods that were listening, that her friend would not pass into the Peaceful Realms.

Cursing and muttering under her breath, Alanna finally sighed in relief as Midori turned to her side and coughed up the water from her lungs, chest heaving and filling with the sweet air of winter.

"You're alive!" Neal exclaimed, others joined in, hugging and smiling at her friend's recovery. Alanna smiled and left, telling the others to stay off the ice from now on.

Only Kalen hung back. Questions tumbled in his mind. Had that kiss she had shared with him meant something to her? Or was it just to keep him alive underwater?

He shook his head in disbelief, refusing to believe that their friendship had developed into more.

And yet, in his heart he knew that it was true.


	9. Chapter 9: Midwinter Ball

Chapter 9 

The days passed quickly and the night of the Midwinter ball came around. Servants were bustling around putting up the final decorations and putting on the final touches for the evening.

A maid helped Midori by filling a tub with warm water and placing soap, bottles of hair lotion, and towels nearby, Midori quickly lowered into the steaming tub and sighed as her tired muscles relaxed. She ducked under the water and wet her hair then rubbed the hair lotions into lather and rinsed, with the soap she cleaned the dirt from her skin and washed. She stepped from the tub, dripping wet, and dried herself.

The maid later helped her into a long dark green kimono with a gold satin sash, a custom of her mother's, and gathered her silky black hair into a bun, tucking green hair ornaments into the bun. A little face paint and lip rouge was added to accent her eyes and mouth. Midori turned to the mirror and gasped, she simply didn't recognize even herself.

A soft knock at her door made her smooth the unseen wrinkles in the kimono and turn to the entrance as the maid answered. Handsome in black breeches and tunic lined with silver, offset by a white cotton shirt, Kalen bowed slightly as she curtsied, "You look spectacular" he remarked, smiling as she lowered her head in embarrassment and replied, "It was apparently my mother's"

Kalen nodded and held out his arm, "Shall we go 'Green-eyes'?"

"Am I to receive a title like the Protector of the Small or the Lioness? I could never be that great!" Midori insisted.

"Don't talk nonsense, you'll be a great warrior maiden, known for years and years, doing great deeds for King Jonathan and his successor, and you'll die old and grey. I'll promise you if I have to--"

"Promise what?"

"I'll promise to—to stick by your side in the field" he finished.

Midori took his arm and he led her to the grand staircase.

The herald called their names to the crowd, "Squire Midori of Queenscove and Squire Kalen Haimaid of the Bloody Hawk"

Neal looked up as Midori descended the stairs with Kalen and smiled at his daughter, she looked so much like Yuki, dressed as she was. After the two bowed to the monarchs they joined Amyl and the rest of their friends in the crowd.

Neal watched her go, thinking, if Kel hadn't convinced him, she wouldn't have been this happy as she was now. Neal's gaze turned to his daughter and Kalen dancing. Someone poked him in the arm and he turned to glare at Owen, "What was that for?" he whispered.

"Looks like Midori's got a sweetheart" Owen remarked and ducked as Neal swiped to cuff his friend on the back of the head.

"Caught you that time, Neal" Owen chuckled and went to sit by Merric.

"Sweetheart indeed" Neal rolled his eyes, "Like you don't have one, Owen" he mumbled under his breath. He saw Dom ask Kel for a dance and he sighed as she was whisked off, _"It's been too long since I've been in love, since Yuki died, I've forgotten what it feels like…Fifteen years I've been a widower"_ Neal glanced at his gold wedding band, he had never taken it off, and raised up his cup of cider to his lips and sipped it. He would have rather had a steaming cup of green tea, but cider was fine.

A voice interrupted his thoughts: "Father?"

Neal faced his daughter as she continued, "You're thinking of ma, I can tell, you have that look again…what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Midori, I was just thinking, why don't you go take a walk?" How many times had he said that to her? Many. But why? Because she reminded him so much of his wife!

"_Because she's Yuki's daughter too, not just yours!"_ hissed his mind. Nealan of Queenscove had looked many times in the mirror, often late at night, and saw a broken man, supported only by the fact that his daughter would achieve her dream. Was that the only reason or was there another reason?

Had he hoped that Midori would live the life she wanted? Or stayed close by, to learn the ways of a proper woman?

He had wished, since she was born and since Yuki's death, that Midori would never have to taste death as cruelly as her mother had. Never have to die in childbirth, or lose anyone if at all. Age would claim them warm in bed, not cold steel in the horrors of battle.

Neal glanced at the king and queen, he could tell that they were aging, and so were many others like Lord Raoul and even his former knight mistress, Alanna was growing old. He wondered if he would ever become a grandfather or live long enough to be a great-grandfather. His own father had become sick just a day ago but assured Neal that he wouldn't yet be confined to a bed or pass into the Peaceful Realms. With that reassurance, Neal had attended the ball and didn't worry about his father.

Meanwhile Kalen and Midori had snuck off to the gardens for a walk, the crisp breeze rustled the dead bushes and flowers, sleeping until spring. A long silence ensued for both did not know what to say. Kalen glanced at her hand and risked his friendship by sliding his hand into her own Midori hid a blush under her mask and gripped his calloused hand in kindliness. As they walked down the stone paths dimly lit by mage lights, Kalen looked into the sky and grinned. A full moon had risen, bathing them in a soft light, and soft music from the ballroom was playing in the background. It was picture perfect.

Slowly, Kalen turned Midori to face him, the sorfds nearly catching in his throat: "Midori, when you asked me if I had ever been in love, I wondered if…if was in love with…" Kalen trailed off and kissed Midori hesitantly and lightly, he broke the kiss and finished his sentence: "you"

Midori felt tears coming to her eyes at how naive he sounded, so unsure if she would approve. But had she loved him ever since she was ten? Had she waited five years to let her Yamani mask fall and for him to read her like an unopened book?

In a sense, she had waited for someone to open her gloomy heart and read her emotions clear, bring light into the darkness. And Kalen had brought her that awareness, the feel of his hand in her own, his lips caressing hers for that one brief moment, had kindled a fire that had quickly been snuffed by other suitors who only wanted her body for their own degraded purposes. But Kalen had told her, in the full five years they had been friends, that he didn't just want her body, he wanted her full self. He did not pretend to love her like others had, but loved to protect her from the threats of rape and abuse; she had seen it in his eyes. He had made that promise, she knew somehow.

"You think I'm silly for this display, don't you?" Kalen whispered sounding hurt.

"No, _I_ have been silly for not realizing it earlier" she replied, kissing him, this time passionately, sealing her word. Sparks of passion-fire danced at her fingertips as she touched his face and memorized the feel of his skin beneath her fingertips, the high cheekbones and his soft black hair, closely cropped.

"Well, well, well whom do we have here?" a cool voice cut like a knife through the silence. Midori and Kalen sprang apart as they recognized that voice.

Jarvis stepped from the shadow, a smirk plastered on his face. "No, do continue your exchange of spit, though I doubt I'll linger." Jarvis raised an eyebrow, "Queenscove's with you Hawk-boy? Mithros, Mynoss and Shakith I faltered to recognize Queenscove beneath her mother's mask, though I suppose your mother's death, Queenscove, was for the best"

Midori, in a fit of rage, clouted Jarvis hard across his cheek; "My mother's death was _not_ for the best at all, you snake!" she spat through clenched teeth.

Jarvis grabbed her wrist as she was going to slap him again and chewed lightly and sucked on the inside of her palm. Realizing his intentions, she wrenched her wrist from his grip and spat on him. She turned and stormed back to the ballroom with Kalen at her heel, glaring back at Jarvis before he left.

Wiping the spittle from his cheek, Jarvis of Stone Mountain vowed to get rid of Midori of Queenscove once and for all. He would make sure she did not pass the Ordeal and died in the Chamber, like his mother's brother, Joren, had done almost thirty-five years ago. He would get revenge and the spawn would get what she deserved. All he needed to do was to wait three more years and the Ordeal would be upon them…

**A/N: I'm not sure what Midori should face in the Chamber. Any ideas?**

**- AW1**


	10. Chapter 10: Poetry and Fear

Chapter 10 

Midori stormed back to her bedchambers, closed her door, surprisingly softly, and locked it. She dropped the key from shaking fingers and as it fell with a clatter, she sank to her knees letting her mask fall and tears wet her cheeks. She didn't know why she was crying or even why she had felt angry.

Rocking back and forth on her heels she looked to the large mirror that leaned against the wall: Her face paint was running and her eyes were streaming, her hair was coming loose from the pins that held it in place and now fell in tendrils around her face. She took out her hair ornaments and held them in her open hand.

"Why did I want this life?" She asked herself, staring at the chopsticks. "Why did Mother die?"

Midori stared out the window, at the freezing rain that pounded at the pane. Then she gazed at the _shukusen_ that sat on the windowsill. "I chose this life because I wanted it, not because anyone force me to." She answered, her voice quiet.

Midori quickly wiped her eyes and blew her nose on a handkerchief as a knock sounded at the door. "Go away!" she shouted.

"Midori, it's Kel, could I come in?"

"No!" she replied.

"At least tell me what's wrong." Prompted the lady knight.

Midori unlocked and opened her door to reluctantly admit Kel, Yamani mask showing no emotion.

Kel shook her head sadly and wrapped Midori in a tight hug, knowing how hard it was to accept that the girl was motherless. "Kalen told me what happened with Jarvis, he sounds just like his uncle, and he should have _never_ said that, I'm sorry for letting you train and having to put up with this"

"No, Kel, it's fine, I can deal with it." Midori whispered.

Kel could tell by her tone that she didn't mean it, but let the answer pass. The lady knight then squeezed her shoulders in reassurance and led Midori to the privy where she washed the face paint and lips rouge from her face as if Midori were a child.

The young squire then smiled as her anger lessened and disappeared. "Thanks" she whispered.

Nodding, Kel quickly left Midori to rest. But Midori didn't sleep; she crept down to the library and decided to do a little research.

She selected a few books and hurried back to her room, closing the door behind her. She lit a few candles and sat at her desk; opening the first book she began to scan the paragraph until she found what she had been looking for:

"…_The Chamber of Ordeal is a great room filled with not magic but a being of its own accord…many have passed the infamous Ordeal and became legends like the late Sylvia of Northwatch, and Lady Alanna the Lioness and the most recent, Keladry of Mindelan, Protector of the Small, since then, more girls have been willing to train as knights to service the Crown…but also some have been killed by the Ordeal, like Joren of Stone Mountain…no one knows what killed them…but their deaths show that this being in the room can kill…The Chamber shows your fears and regrets and intensifies them, not to scare young squires, but to toughen them…"_

"So the Chamber can kill," whispered Midori suddenly feeling the weight of mortality. She could die in the Ordeal and never achieve her dream.

Midori closed the book and selected another, one about the Bloody Hawk in the Southern Desert. She skimmed the paragraphs until she came to one that caught her attention:

"…_Lady Alanna was adopted into this tribe along with the late Myles of Olau, her adoptive father, and was the tribe's shaman, teaching three others…The tribe has thrived since King Jonathan III had become the Voice of the Tribe…he has recruited many into the services of the Own and as knights of the Crown…Just fifteen years ago the tribe's eldest shaman passed into the Peaceful Realms, leaving behind an infant son in the care of her sister…The boy then at ten left for the city of Corus in Tortall, to train as a knight of the realm…"_

There she paused in her reading and contemplated over her findings. So Kalen must've been that infant son, or it could have been Kalen's father that had trained as a knight?

Midori decided she would think about what she read at a later time and instead decided to read a poem or two before retiring to bed.

She pulled a book from under a stack on her desk and opened it to the first poem, not a Yamani poem, but one that spoke of a young girl's dream:

Dreams

_Playing games by the old oak, of a knight in shining armour and damsels oh so distressed_

_Falling down in the autumn's leaves, tired and wanting to rest_

_I dream of riding down the hills, sun to my back and wind at my face_

_I imagine I'm dancing in a dress of fine silk and lace_

_Dancing in the black of night_

_Twirling with the moonlight _

_I think of my bravery, my fame_

_And how I brought glory to my family name_

_I pause for a moment in the winter frost_

_And wonder about the people whose lives have been lost _

_I wake up to the sounds of birds at my window_

_And think of my dream, of all the things it wanted me to know_

_Of all the triumphs and plights_

_That makes me think of distant times, of long- dead knights _

_I suppose I should stick to reading_

_Never could stick to leading_

_I suppose wielding knowledge is wise_

_I couldn't pretend to be a boy, they'd find out my disguise_

_The autumn leaves fall and my mind remembers _

_How I'd sit by the fire and read by the embers_

_Study tales I could never live_

_Read about a life I could never give_

_I suppose wielding a shield and blade could be a foolish thing to hope for_

_That books and knowledge are better then tales of folklore_

_But I think now as I sit here by the soft candlelight_

_I remember those dreams I had, and begin to write_

_Hoping that what I wrote will inspire others to see my dream as I had_

_And not abandon it like I, but pursue the dream of knighthood even if you are not a young lad _

_Listen to the voice of your mind and use your head_

_It may lead you down the trail never tread…_

Midori yawned widely and placed her book down on the bed, her heart feeling light, she blew out the candles, and climbed under the sheets of her bed, the verses of the poem playing in her head. She had felt the poem speak to her in a deep personal way and hoped what the writer had said about dreams was true.

For she was walking down a path many had taken, yet she felt as if she was walking alone.

In the Chamber she would be alone, where anything could happen.

She could die.

She could survive.

But if she died she would know she would have loved and had been loved.

And that notion hurt her more then any wound, it made her feel the heavy weight of loss and a fear for her mortal life.

Midori realized, in that one moment of thought what her fears truly were, she was afraid of abuse and rape, of being alone, afraid of drowning and afraid of a broken heart.

But above all that common fear was a greater horror that even outlasted her lifelong fear of loneliness.

Midori of Queenscove was afraid to die.

Poem  AnimalWriter1, 2006 


	11. Chapter 11: Nightmares

**Chapter 11**

That night Midori dreamt. She dreamt frighteningly of death.

She was in a chapel. Priests could just be seen blessing and spreading incense over a body. She turned away, unable to meet the poised pale face lit by gold candlelight. Her father now lay on his deathbed, died while trying to save a woman from death in childbirth. She was dressed thickly in clothes of black, a veil of ink-colored lace concealing her green eyes. Tears tingled in her eyes like unshed drops of rain, clouding her vision like the Yamani mask hid her emotion from the group of mourners.

_Midori walked calmly from the chapel, passing a mirror on her way. She paused, not look at or fix her hair, just to look. The young woman noticed thin lines of worry at her mouth and the corners of her eyes, she also noticed how scarred her hands had become. As if her hands held every sin she had carried._

Midori then felt the dream change as the mirror melted like a pool of silver, and an image flashed before her eyes.

A letter fell to the floor and sobbing could be heard as the figure turned from the window. Oriana threw the rose she held, to the floor. "He's dead" she whispered. "Emrys is dead, they—they found him in the field, lance pierced right through him…" Oriana broke down sobbing while Midori went to comfort her friend, glancing at the letter and rose at Oriana's feet.

Midori saw the rose and letter liquefy away to another scene.

She ran. Ran to comfort, ran from the screams and the gore. But she didn't get far when her eyes fell upon the still forms of Oriana and Sheba. The two friends had died in battle, Sheba from duty and Oriana from heartache. Blood pooled like spilled wine at her feet as she kneeled, crying, and pulling her two dear friends to her chest, wishing for their geniality. Bidding a last goodbye, she stood and stared aimlessly at the pool of red.

The dreams kept on slipping into nightmares.

Midori kneeled next to her childhood friend as Amyl turned and smiled weakly at her. Merric gripped her hand as healers swarmed around the sick woman. Midori felt hot tears swell in her eyes as Amyl coughed and struggled to breathe. With her face turning a tinge of blue, Midori felt her dream of knighthood falter. The only reason why she had been here to train was because of her friend. She wanted to fight alongside her friend, to never stop being friends. And now, as Amyl's breath slowed to a mere thread, Midori wished she had inherited her father's healing Gift. She wept as Merric's sobs grew louder. Amyl had finally died.

Midori pled for the dreams to cease. But one more slipped past.

She threaded and pushed her way through a crowd. And what she saw made her heart nearly stop in her chest. She felt bile rise in her throat and felt the world spin. There. On the hangman's noose, hanging. Was her lover.

His white, purple face held a look of shock as if he had struggled before giving in. And in a sickly sense, she was proud for him. Proud but grief-stricken. Sick but well.

She read the sign that had been put up: 'Hanged for treason' it read.

A turbulent of emotion threatened to overtake her mask, but she let it. Anger and greif left her on her knees punching the ground and sobbing uncontrollably, with her hands scratched and bloody, she bowed her head and whispered: "If this is his fate, this shall be mine" She pulled a dagger from its sheath, the silver blade catching the soft moonlight.

Without thinking of her fears, she plunged it into her chest. She felt her heart throb lessening as she lay in the dirt dying, the blood spilling over her breasts. "So mote it be" she murmured, closing her eyes to everlasting darkness.

Midori awoke crying; sweating through her nightclothes and her throat was raw as if she had been screaming. She looked around, hearing voices and gasped as she gazed at her father and her friends—very much alive.

Neal stroked her hair, trying to comfort her as she hugged him tight around the neck, sobbing into his shirt. She just wanted for the dreams to stop; they had, but left Midori distraught.

"Shh, sprout it's alright." Neal whispered.

"I dreamt you all died, all of you." She murmured though her tears.

"Well it was only dream." Neal reassured.

"Only a dream" Midori repeated, feeling her worry disappear.

They were alive and, right now, that's all that mattered.


	12. Chapter 12: Pillow Fight

**Chapter 12**

**A/N: I've noticed that poetry is often guiding the story along...there is a lot of poetry in this!**

Midori woke early the next morning and heard the birds outside her window. Spring would almost be here.

She quickly bathed and changed into some brown breeches and blue tunic with a crisp white shirt and opened the window to let in some air. Sitting on her bed and brushing out her long black hair, she quietly hummed to herself:

When the seas are rough all you can do is wait

But when morning comes it'll be too late

You'll stop at my gate

And remember the good times we had

Before the ship sank, and all was sad

You knew love was fragile, you knew love was dear

But all was forgotten when I was near

Left far behind was your grief, and all your fear

Know this and know it well

Even if you die and go to hell

Even if you feel love is gone and that fear is born anew

I will always love you

"As will I" said a voice.

Startled, Midori looked up and she felt lips on her mouth before she had a chance to look at the person. But she did recognize that voice.

"Kalen!" she squealed, breaking the kiss and hitting him with a pillow she had grabbed. This caused her to burst into giggles, as he wrestled the pillow from her hands and hit her with it. Kalen laughed as Midori begged him to stop, through her laughter. She rolled to her stomach and crawled to the head of her bed, almost getting tangled in the sheets in the process. Kalen beat her to the end and grinned slyly as he raised the pillow to batter her again, she ducked and the pillow landed on the other side of the room, having been swung too hard.

Both were laughing hard by this time. And as Kalen went to stand up he tripped over the bed sheets and sent Midori flat on her back, Kalen's face close to hers.

Both froze, thinking.

It was a moment before Kalen blushed and sat up, clearing his throat. "I'm sorry about that" he mumbled.

Midori stood and kissed his cheek, "It's a mess I can clean" she replied and began fixing up the bed covers and hurrying to retrieve the pillow.

"I'll see you in the mess" she replied.

Kalen nodded, and left, his thoughts all tangled in a knot.


	13. Chapter 13: Letter and Red Roses

Chapter 13 

Red rose

So calm

So tranquil

So red

Blood pools at my feet

Red

Red as the sun

Red as the rose

Thorns prick

Thorns sting

Drops of blood are left

On the little knives

Simply called thorns

Roses symbolize love

Red symbolizes darkness

Is love dark?

Or is there darkness in love?

Red symbolizes darkness

Is love dark?

Or is their darkness in love?

Murderous dreams

Morbid minds

Sweet rose

Sweet love

Sweet love gone dark

Plunged into hell

Drowned

Choked

Dead

Love is no more

Red as a pool of blood

Red as the sun

Red as love

Red as the rose

Red rose

So dangerous

So bold

So red

Red

Red as the rose

Kalen trudged back to his room, his mind and thoughts in a mess. _"It's hopeless, what if she died in the Chamber? Then our love would be worthless."_

The Bazhir man opened his door and closed it with a sigh, he walked to his desk took up a piece of parchment and a quill and tried to write a letter.

_Midori,_

_It is only three more years until the dreaded Ordeal, if you're as scared as I, don't be. The gods have a good plan for the next Queenscove and lady knight. I look outside my window and see the sun is shining bright and the grass is finally starting to turn green, the scene is beautiful. Off to the left I see the stables and I remember our ride early in the morning in the winter, some time ago, and how you asked me if I had ever been in love._

_I was not so sure then, but I am now. I am completely sure that love has blessed us, as it has many others. Emrys has been assigned to border patrol this spring and Oriana told me that after she is knighted, she would join him. Sheba is well and so is Amyl, so I've heard. _

_You're turning sixteen this spring aren't you? I remember when you nearly forgot to get a gift this fall for my birthday; it still makes me laugh the way you hurried on about a simple thing I could've done without. Still, it amazes me how much we've changed over the years._

_I will always stick by your side this life and the next. Remember that._

_Happy early birthday love,_

_Kalen_

Reading the letter over, he smiled. Pleased, he folded it and took a red rose, wet with morning dew, and sealed the letter, rose and all.

Kalen then walked to Midori's rooms and slipped the letter under her door, thinking of an excuse for his lateness when he reached the mess hall.


	14. Chapter 14: Sorrowful Tidings

Chapter 14 

Kalen walked into the mess hall a little earlier then he expected. Few pages and squires were still getting food. He quickly got his food and sat down with his friends, all except Emrys who was on border patrol.

Ceylon Willoware walked into the mess hall and everyone stood to pray. After everyone sat down, began eating and talking, Ceylon made one more announcement:

"Could Midori of Queenscove and Kalen Hiamaid of the Bloody Hawk report to my office after the morning meal."

After the training-master left, whispers erupted in the mess hall, some people even were open to gestures. Midori scowled and kept her head bowed, eating.

Kalen couldn't help but wonder why the training master would want them to report when they had done nothing, perhaps Ceylon wished to speak with them separately. Only the gods knew.

Silently, both stood from the benches and took their trays and dishes to be washed. Together they walked down to the training master's office and Kalen knocked.

There was a quiet reply of "Come in" and both squires entered.

Ceylon studied them with solemn brown eyes and gestured them to sit down. "Kalen, Midori," he acknowledged, his voice holding no emotion. "I have news for you both" Midori could tell he was regretting his next few sentences: "Kalen, you take the Ordeal in a year, correct?"

"Yes sir" replied the boy.

"Sir Bennel, your knight-master, has told me of your excellence and thinks you should take the Ordeal, a year earlier then most, after the spring equinox"

Midori gasped, "The king surely will not stand for it, sir!" It took all of her willpower to keep from crying and beginning an argument.

"I've spoken to His Majesty and he will allow it, squire," Ceylon spoke in a soft voice.

"If his Majesty allows it, then I should take the chance, a younger knight for the realm is always best." Kalen replied.

Midori felt a few tears fall down her face. How could he agree to this? The woman ducked her head, her black hair hiding her tears, and mentally scolded herself. It was his choice!

The training master turned to the woman. "I have sorrowful tidings for you, Midori, your cousin and uncle have passed into the Peaceful Realms, I'm sorry."

Midori's throat was as dry as parchment, when she managed to croak, "How?"

"Riding accident. Sergeant Domitan and Shalem were riding and Dom was attacked. He tried to protect Shalem but he was killed, the horse threw your cousin off and he broke his neck in the fall…" Ceylon explained, brown eyes sad.

Midori felt the room spin and her head begin to swim. The sense of heat was overwhelming and the numbing sensation of her hands and mouth were frightening. Soon, through half-closed eyes, she saw faces.

The face of her father, of her friends, and her remaining family, She remembered seeing Shale's hopeful face the lat time she had seen him. His juvenile dreams had been snatched away so brutally. Kel had already lost a child with her miscarriage, some years ago, and now this?

"I need to find Aunt" Midori stood and nodded, forgetting to bow, and hurried out of Ceylon's office, Kalen following.

As Midori walked briskly to Kel's suite, fists clenched, she could feel hot tears sting her eyes and blind her, blurring the hall into a mass of colors and sound. She no longer cared. She felt deadened and wished—for once—she could be selfish.

Midori opened the door to peek into her aunt's room and found Kel sitting at her desk, staring down at a letter stained with tears. She slipped inside and walked up to her aunt.

Kel glanced at Midori with red, puffy eyes and looked away, not wanting to talk. "Shale was my only son, and Dom…why them, why now?" she whispered, more tears falling. "He was going to turn six this week. Dom and I planned on going to Masbolle but now--" Kel broke off, unable to continue.

It was a mother's pain of losing a child, Midori knew, and left Kel to grieve, knowing full well, that she too would attend the funeral.

Kalen brushed a hand on her arm and she stared blankly at her lover before deciding to go for a ride in Corus.

Kalen watched her go, feeling lost.


	15. Chapter 15: Bound in Blood

Chapter 15

Kalen hurried after his lover, who didn't turn around when he called her name. "Midori, turn around and at least talk to me, I hate it when you hide…" he told her.

Suddenly Midori broke into a run, desperate to escape the castle, to run anywhere and never return. The Bazhir slowed and watched as the woman leaned against a wall, unable to continue. Kalen put a comforting hand on her shoulder and sighed as she flinched but let him rest his hand there, offering comfort in his presence.

"I'm sorry," he finally said after a long pause.

Midori took his calloused hand and led him to the stables where Yukiko and Velvet were kept. She let him saddle and tack Velvet but made no attempt to saddle her own mount.

"Do you need help saddling up Yukiko?" Kalen asked, taking the black mare's lead.

"I thought we could share the ride," she whispered.

Kalen mock-bowed and smiled, "Then will milady care to mount first?" Midori swatted him playfully and mounted. Kalen climbed on after her and wrapped his arms around her waist to grip the reins, as she leaned in his embrace.

In a few minutes they were riding down a well-trod road and Midori stared at the wonders of spring. Grass was green and the sun was bright, dancing among the leaves in the trees while clusters of flowers grew, seeking energy from the sun.

"What are you sorry about?" the woman asked.

"Everything." He replied.

Midori was confused, "Why?"

"I don't wish to take my Ordeal a year earlier" he admitted.

"Why didn't you say anything?" she cried.

"Like I said before, love, a younger knight of the realm is best"

Midori couldn't slip on her mask, she felt hot tears course down her cheeks and her shoulders shook with sobs.

Kalen halted his mare and dismounted, lifting Midori with him and letting her fall into his hold as she cried. "Hush, Midori," he whispered, stroking her hair and simply holding her near.

Midori looked up and Kalen wiped her tears with a hand as she tried to get a grip on herself. She turned from him but Kalen took her arm and turned her to face him, placing a sweet kiss on her lips. She gasped at the ferocity of this kiss and as they broke apart, she saw tears sparkling in his eyes.

"I don't want to die in the Chamber, but neither do I wish to die without you," he said.

"I'll ask the gods to protect you, Kalen, and they will," she told him, taking his hand.

"If I don't survive, I want you to have this" Kalen then took a small object from his pocket, the token caught the sun and blinded Midori temporarily with white flashes of light. "This," Kalen opened his palm to show her a golden hawk with a bit of red at its brow and back. "Is to certify you are a member of the Bloody Hawk, the red is from the blood binding ritual."

"Let me be bound" she said softly, taking a dagger from her sheath.

"It's not that simple, and I don't have the Gift" Kalen stated.

"I don't need it to be bound." she said, moving the dagger swiftly, cutting her lips and left wrist. Quickly she took the gold-red hawk and pressed it to her bleeding wrist and her bloody lips to his mouth. With the sweet, salty liquid mixing with their saliva they felt a change deep inside. An inner connection, a spiritual tie.

Midori broke the kiss and looked at her lover, smiling. "In blood we are bound, so mote it be"

Kalen looked at her, slightly surprised and took a silver chain hanging from Midori's neck and clasped the hawk to one of the silver beads and placed it back around her neck, grinning, "It suites you."


	16. Chapter 16: Watched by the Seer

**Chapter 16**

Midori and Kalen rode back to the palace for a late lunch and to retire to their rooms before meeting up with their knight-masters later that afternoon.

The young woman opened the door to her room and looked down when she heard a faint rustling sound. "A letter" she picked it up and broke the seal, glancing at the red rose before placing it on the desk and reading the letter. She smiled as she read it and glanced out the window where light rain was falling. "He's right; I do turn sixteen, in just three days in fact. It seemed so long ago that I was a page..."

"That's because it has been" a calm, scratchy voice said. Midori gasped and instinctively reached for her dagger, but the sheath was empty. Cursing, she looked around the room, to find no one there.

"Who are you?" she called out.

"I am Shakith, seer of all mortal and immortal hopes and fears" the voice replied. "Gaze into the mirror and you shall see into the future"

"The future?"

"Did that boy not promise you about being known for years?" Shakith asked, her abrasive voice sounded falsely amused.

"He did promise me, goddess."

"Titles are important to you I see now. The boy has already broken his promise, child"

Midori turned to face the mirror and squinted as bleary colors and sounds began to appear.

All of a sudden the picture sharpened.

It was clear.

Too clear.

Midori paled as white as polished marble, her breath quickened and caught in her throat. Through clenched teeth, she took shaky, uneven breaths a bitter, metallic taste on her tongue.

Then all became dark as she fell to the floor in a dizzying daze, her head cracking against the floor, sending her into instant darkness.

The goddess brushed bony fingers against Midori's forehead and released a dream into her mind, "Tis for your own good, child, face your fear or this training will be for nothing, for killing is what you must do to serve, and into death you will send your foe. Face your fears, compassionate one, face them and be known as Midori 'The Fearless' of Queenscove..." "I watch over you now, as the Goddess, my sister, watches over her own and I know this adventure, is a road not yet walked upon."

The seer goddess' words lingered in the air for a moment and disappeared as a light breeze carried them into the sky. Midori was watched by the Seer, and by the Seer she was protected.


	17. Chapter 17: Vision Sword

Chapter 17

_Midori found herself in a long hallway of some sort of fortress. She took a step and found the stone floor to be strangely solid. A silver wolf sat in the middle of the hall, as if waiting._

"_Do you want me to follow?" she asked the wolf. The wolf nodded and ran off, Midori hurried after it. "Wait! I'm not as fast as you! Wait!" she called, echoes ringing in the silent passage._

_When Midori finally caught up, the she-wolf, Silver, paused outside a door of bronze and yellow silk. "Pass into this shrine girl, but speak nothing of what you see." she whispered._

_Midori parted one of the cloths and stepped into a small room of polished white marble and stone. Lanterns hung from hooks on the walls and gave off an eerie gold light. A priest in a robe of crimson red was standing by a rectangular table, draped with a dark plum cloth trimmed with gold tassels, and murmuring a short prayer while spreading incense across something that lay on the table. Finished, the priest left through the door of yellow and brown cloth asMidori stepped up for a closer look, her eyes rested upon a long silver sword. The hilt was patterned with white diamonds and green emeralds; they gleamed in the dark silver of the hilt._

_As she traced a finger along the intricate designs, the sword seemed to hum, a low sound that echoed throughout the room. Midori took a step back, startled and began backing out of the room, eyes on the sword._

_Suddenly the candlelight from the lanterns flickered and went out, Midori's scream of fright caught in her throat as darkness settled over her. A strange mist appeared, cloaking something in its clouding haze._

_A woman stepped forward from the mist, she was dressed in thin white silk that whispered and sighed as if it were a breath of white wind, and her long black hair was braided and coiled at the back of her head to form a tight bun. The woman gazed at her with the darkest green eyes Midori had ever seen and as the woman handed her a silver bow and quiver of arrows, Midori saw many wolves come forward, most were white and gray but some were as black as ebony wood and brown as spring soil. Midori didn't understand all this; she wanted to figure out why she was here, why was everything so secretive? All she had wanted was a shield._

_The woman turned and gripped the hilt of the humming sword, lifting it from the table and tapped the squire's shoulders and head as if knighting her._

_Midori struggled to speak but no sound escaped her dry throat, she stumbled and fell, dropping the bow and quiver with a soft clatter on the stone floor. Scrambling to her feet she tripped over the cloth and went sprawling to land on her back, she let out a gasp as a searing pain thundered in her skull as the woman spoke:_

"_You need not to be afraid, child, I have come to show you what the Scanran demon wants with you" the older woman held out a thin-boned, callused hand to help the girl up._

_Midori took the offered hand and stood, suddenly images flashed before her mind's eye, the Scanran demon's eyes burned into her skull as if searching for a weakness that burned deep within her soul, she felt the heat of fire but did not see the flame, she felt a chill though there were no windows nor a draft in the room. Suddenly a voice, a cold-blooded voice, sounding like the scraping of glass against rock, whispered to her, "I want your soul, girl, I wish your doom, I control your fate now…Your friend is the key to your end…we shall see who is the champion, in the battle of hell and Tortall…" A long anguished cry pierced the silence that followed, like a fruit on the blade of a knife. Midori shut her eyes and felt tears prick at the back of her mind as the cry rang and echoed in her skull. Opening her eyes to find the pain and voice gone, she sighed and without thinking she blurted out her thoughts: "Why am I here Goddess? In this particular dream?"_

_The woman chuckled, "You shall learn in time...Knighthood has many paths"_

Midori was thrown from the dream vision in a flash of white light and she opened her eyes to find a fiery pain in her head and as she touched the back, her hand fell on a wetness that sent bile rising in her throat. She got up shakily and stumbled over to the privy to empty the contents of her stomach as a sudden nausea washing over her.

Wiping her mouth, she took a cloth, wet it with cold water and washed the cut on her head, wincing as it stung. How long had it been?

Banishing that thought as she heard a knock on the door, she felt the blood clotting on her head and quickly answered.

Owen entered with murmured thanks and looked worried at the blood staining Midori's hands and the dried blood in her hair. "How'd that happen?" he demanded.

"I fell." she told him. That answer wasn't really a lie, only half the truth.

"Horse manure" muttered Owen as his expression softened into a smile, "Still, I think you should get that looked at, you've cleaned it up good. I have something for you."

"You do?" Midori sounded surprised.

"Of course. I heard of all the beatings from that Stone Mountain from your friends, and from Ceylon's reports you can fight quite well with the Shang arts, besides you turn sixteen in less then three days. After three more years, you will be a fully-fledged lady knight and I won't be able to see you much."

Midori sat on the edge of her bed as Owen sat besides her, holding a leather sheath in his hands. "Here" he whispered, "It's from me, Kel and your friends, and the magic input is from Neal and Alanna." Owen explained.

Midori pulled out the sword and gasped, the pain in her head throbbed and slowed to a steady ache. "I've seen this blade," she murmured, "In a dream"

Owen didn't look surprised, merely taking it as a god's trick. "Your friends also gave you a title, Midori: Midori 'the Healer' of Queenscove. It's hardly a fearful name, for you yourself are not a terrible person. You remind me of Kel sometimes," Owen chuckled, "It's amazing how we change over such a short time, one minute we're studying to become knights, the next, we are teaching squires of our own…"

Midori nodded, eyes gazing at the blade, her reflection stared back. The Goddess had been right knighthood _did_ have many paths. She was walking on one.


	18. Chapter 18: A Warm Bath To Calm

Chapter 18 

As soon as Owen had left, Midori left the blade on her bed, wary about it. She decided to bathe to wash the blood from her hair and head. She put a large bucket over the fire, which she poked back to life, and gathered hair lotions and towels and a hairbrush she left on a table where a small mirror leaned against a wall.

She could hear the water slowly bubbling in the bucket but left it for longer. She opened a window, finding the room to be stuffy and glanced out the window at the soft twilight that blanketed over the sky. Propping her chin on her elbow, she gazed at the golden sunset streaked with many colors as if a painter had accidentally spilled his paint over a tranquil scene.

"_Taken by the sunsets glow, the seas so calm,"_ Midori sang, her voice barely as whisper, _"I wait for you lover, I'll wait for you…taken by your charm, hung from your kindness…Love has slain me on fields of red roses, oh love has spilled the blood of a fair maiden whose heart was aflutter. Love has slain me in the glow of sunset, but if my heart shall fail me now, oh let the gods be wrong, I know I'll wait for you lover, I'll keep on waiting until the suns stop setting and darkness banishes all…" _

Turning back to the bucket of water, she quickly took it inside the privy and poured it inside the round tub. With the faint smell of flowers coming from the garden, she stripped from her tunic, breeches and underclothes and slid into the steaming water with a heavy sigh, feeling her cares drift off. She dove under the water and wet her hair, feeling the warmth seep into her marrow, Midori surfaced and poured a sweet-smelling lotion into her open palm and spread it into her hair into a soapy lather. After she had washed it out of her hair, she took a bar of soap and rid her skin of the dirt.

She just sat in the tub enjoying the warmth, she was done with her bath and now just wished to think and have a little time to herself. "So if I saw the sword in a dream, is it supposed to help me fight the demon that has possessed the Scanran warlord?" "I've got more worrisome things to think about: the Ordeal…" the woman shivered despite the steam and the temperature.

Finally, she climbed from the tub, the water having slowly chilled and toweled herself dry, and dressed in a nightgown and bathrobe suddenly unable to sleep.

Taking the hairbrush, she absently combed through her hair, wincing as she came to a knot and tried to coax it out. Once she had combed her hair it fell in a waterfall of night-black and she began to braid it into one long braid, humming as she braided. She sat on the bed near the sheathed sword and touched the tough roan red leather, feeling power pulse through.

It pulsed as if it had a heart. Pumping adrenaline through her veins and making her feel as if some immortal thing, that willingly bound itself to her will, would protect her in times of peril.

She gazed at her palm and drew the blade, cutting her palm from the index finger diagonally to her wrist, letting the blood slide down the blade. She had given the blade her blood as an unknown sacrifice to the unseen 'ghost' inside the blade.

Midori wiped the blade clean and put it close by her bedside, but during the night she couldn't sleep, thoughts of the coming Ordeal haunting her.

She whispered a line from the song she had sung at the window:

"_Love has slain me on fields of red roses, oh love has spilled the blood of a fair maiden whose heart was aflutter."_

She was that maiden. Her blood would be spilled on the battlefields, if not now, then later, and her heart was aflutter with what people described as the duo tormentors of the heart.

An emotion.

Not one but two…Not two separate but two that easily went hand-in-hand.

…Love.

And…

…Fear.


	19. Chapter 19: A Night Ride in the Forest

Chapter 19 

Kalen sat in his bedchambers, deep in thought. The flames in the hearth danced and roared like some great tiger, flaming jaws ready to snap shut and burn. The Bazhir ran a hand through his black hair in exasperation, why couldn't he think straight?

An image appeared in the bed of flame. An image of tranquility and sudden peace, he sighed as Midori turned to her side, wrapped in the arms of soft blankets. "Midori" he whispered, thinking the image also had the ability to transport sound. But she did not stir.

Sighing heavily, Kalen decided to take Velvet for a ride, to try and ease his troubled nerves.

Grabbing a pair of boots and a coat, the man then snuck outside to the stables to his sleek black mare. "We're going for a nice ride, you and I, I'm feeling a bit troubled so I'll need to think, your sire and dam have served the Bloody Hawk well. Can you show them?" he whispered, patting Velvet's muzzle. The horse snorted and blew in her master's face. "Good girl." Kalen led Velvet out of the stables and mounted.

Urging his horse into a trot for a warm-up, Kalen headed toward the Royal Forest, the deep abyss of night upon them and the warm breeze caressing like silk brushing upon a cheek. Nothing seemed to disturb this few minutes of quiet thinking.

Except perhaps the lack of activity.

Kalen watched as the worn, dirt path he took, the pebbles snapping softly as Velvet walked. The waning moon gave modest light and just about cut through the dense leaves of the forest.

A snap made him look up, hand reaching for a dagger at his side. Dark eyes studied the even darker silhouette of trees ahead.

Kalen tried to calm his prancing horse and felt the bittersweet taste of tension snap like the fire in his hearth. Velvet's eyes showed only the white and her flanks were sparkling with fear-sweat.

An arrow hissed and landed with a crack in the dirt, close to the horse and rider. Velvet reared, almost throwing his rider off and bucked. "Easy!" Kalen yelled, trying to keep his voice composed, though his heart was racing and pounding painfully in his chest.

A shrill battle cry broke through the frantic neighing of Velvet and six men, clad in heavy rings of chain mail, thick breastplates and each held a broadsword, all except two who carried bows.

Kalen was frozen on the saddle, his mind screamed for him to bolt. But he held his ground, if only for that one minute.

A bury man, the leader chuckled and grinned, "Well, well, well boy, how unfortunate that you had to cross us on this lovely evening," the leader glanced around, "And so alone, face it boy, you're outnumbered …"

Kalen held his grip on the reins and retorted, "No more alone then I seem"

The archers drew back their strings and made to fire, merely to intimidate this squire. But Kalen was not to be fooled. They would fire.

With a cry, Kalen let Velvet bolt and he hung on for dear life as the mare threw back her head, eyes rolling and mouth foaming, and charged into the forest. Tearing through foliage, not caring what path they took if only it would lose the six men that were on their trail.

He felt arrows whoosh past his head and ducked down closer to Velvet's sweat soaked neck, murmuring Bazhir prayers of good luck, safety and prayers to the Tortallan gods.

He felt his mare go down, one arrow above her knees and three in her side. The mare squealed and fell with a thud in the forest floor, a puddle of crimson already forming. Kalen quickly stood and ran for his life, feeling pain in his side and shoulder before he tripped and cried out, gasping.

"Leave him, Lernad," a man ordered. "He's a goner anyways, nothing will save him now, only some gods-cursed miracle…"

"_Only a miracle."_ Kalen let his mind succumb to darkness, feeling the heavy weight of regret in his heart. He had failed her.

His blood would be his payment to the gods.


	20. Chapter 20: I'll Wait for you

**Chapter 20**

Sunlight flooded the Royal Forest and blanketed Kalen of the Bloody Hawk, in a soft light. It warmed his face and gave him comfort, as he pressed a hand to the arrow still stuck in his side, the wound sticky with wet and dried blood. He winced as he tried to pull the arrow out and felt his right hand go limp at his side. Groaning as he tried to crawl back, he felt the wound burn like fire and fell on his stomach, exhausted. "There's no way, I'm staying here" he mumbled stubbornly. He tried to support himself on his arms and heave himself through the forest; blood slowly staining the green leaves a brownish-red. He had to take care of the damn arrow in his side first. Weakly he grasped the shaft with his hand and snapped it, the tip still in his side.

Dragging himself over to a strong tree, he hoisted himself to a standing position, grimacing as his legs stiffened under his weight but eventually held. Blessing the gods for his luck, Kalen cautiously took a step and felt his good leg could carry him far enough to get help, but with his bad leg he would have to limp-step, which was fine by him as long as he could get back to the castle. Glancing around, he saw the corpse of Velvet, her flanks caked with dried blood and infected with maggots and insects, "She was a good horse, right until the end." Kalen whispered.

When he had limped to a familiar pathway, he stopped to rest, panting and feeling beads of sweat slide down into his eyes. Leaning against a tree he wiped his brow and looked around, "Just a few more minutes would get me out of this forest. That's the last time I go riding alone!" he vowed.

Midori buried deeper into her warm covers as she heard a sharp knocking on her door. "Who is it?" she groaned.

"It's us" Amyl said.

"Come in, the doors open" Midori replied, finally getting from her bed and heading for the wardrobe for some clothes and hurried into the privy to change. She quickly stripped her white nightdress and slipped on the shirt and tunic. When she hopped around the privy, struggling into the legs of her breeches, she banged her thigh on the washtub. "Damn" she muttered, rubbing the spot on her thigh where a bruise was surely forming. Slipping on her breeches she remembered about her hosiery she had forgotten to grab from her wardrobe and the calf-high boots left under her bed.

Stepping from the privy, Midori met the faces of her friends, all except Kalen and Emrys. Reading the concern on their faces she asked the first question on her mind, "What's wrong?"

Sheba answered first, "Emrys came home earlier this morning but he brought bad news..." She trailed off waiting for the other two to continue.

Oriana continued, "Emrys told us he found this," she held up a silver dagger with a gold hilt and a single ruby. "Near a body in the Royal Forest"

Amyl's small voice held all the comfort Midori needed that moment as her friend spoke, "He's dead, Midori, we're sorry but the Hawk will never fly again"

The words trapped themselves in her mind and refused to let her go. It was a net she could not escape. Tears fell down her cheeks in a relentless stinging stream. "No, No he can't be" she shook her head, willing herself to believe that her lover had not died.

"It's true" Amyl nodded sadly, knowing her friend needed her sympathy.

He was dead.

Love was drowning her in emotion.

Choking her

Suffocating

Beating

Bruising

Stabbing

Spilling her blood

Cold steel ripping her apart

Love was slaying her...

She was dying.

Fading...

Flickering...

Gone.

Kalen was never to soar to knighthood

He had only flown to his death.

He was dead.

And he had taken a part with her.

Her heart.

She felt her breastbone burn beneath her skin and felt the token of the hawk at her throat grow heavy.

Vision blurry with tears, she heard Kalen's voice:

"_If I don't survive, I want you to have this in your memory..." a soft--but cold--phantom kiss brushed her cheek and he chuckled resentfully, "You still wear that token around your neck, even in your sleep? I'll be with you anyway; we'll never truly be apart. Remember my dear: In blood we are bound, so mote it be."_

"Rest in peace." She whispered, softly, tears still silently falling.

_I know I'll wait for you lover, I'll keep on waiting until the suns stop setting and darkness banishes all…_

"_I'll wait for your coming, Midori...Lady Knight of Queenscove" _

His presence faded as did his voice.

And Midori knew he had passed into a final death.

To wait for her.


	21. Chapter 21: Who are you?

**Chapter 21**

When her friends had left, Midori slipped on her mask and stubbornly opened her trunk to find Kalen's letter, the one he'd wrote to her only days before, on top of her sword sheath. It was somehow a sign, she knew. Midori of Queenscove felt her throat close up and a quiet sob escape her, as she fell to her knees barely unaware of the echoing silence.

She felt a cool, calloused hand on her shoulder and looked up. A woman stood before her. Skin, as creamy-brown as her own, shone in the bright shafts of golden sun that peeked through the window, her black hair was tied in a bun with blue hair ornaments tucked into the bun. The woman gazed at the stunned squire with kind dark brown eyes as her lips, accented with bright red lip rouge, curled into a slight smile. Midori noticed she wore a dazzling cerulean kimono embroidered with white blossoms; her obi was a dark green. These particular colors meant that this woman meant her no harm, or so Midori hoped.

"Who are you?" the squire asked.

The woman slipped on what seemed to be a Yamani mask and replied, "I am a wife and mother and a lady of the Yamani Isles, child, nothing more. I have come to remind you of your heritage..."

"I already know my heritage" Midori interjected.

"But do you know of the prophecy?" the woman asked.

"What prophecy?"

"The prophecy that let your father agree to your shield"

"I do know of that prophecy, but what else is there to learn?" Midori asked, standing as the woman walked over to the mirror and waited.

"Many things." Continued to woman, "I know you do not speak in the tongue of Yamani but it is time you began to learn, it is time you learn my language."

"Your language? I do not understand" Midori replied.

"**Sate** **suki, oyobi ki-pu goshujin furenzu seimitsu, mai goreijou**" the woman replied in Yamani, turning to the mirror and letting the mirror liquefy to a gateway.

"Wait! Who are you?" Midori cried.

The woman turned to face the young girl-squire and whispered, "**Reifujin** Yukimi of Queenscove."

Yuki stepped into the mirror as it solidified and, the silver gate the mirror had made, disappeared, leaving Midori to stare in disbelief.

Her mother had been dead for fifteen years.

So why did she appear?

_**TRANSLATIONS: **_

**Sate** **suki, oyobi ki-pu goshujin furenzu seimitsu, mai goreijou**: "Then love, and keep your friends close, my daughter"

**Reifujin:** "Lady"


	22. Chapter 22: Father and Daughter

Chapter 22 

Midori walked slowly up to the mirror and touched the cold glass of the mirror. It did not melt beneath her touch. Sighing softly, she muttered, "It was wishful thinking, ma was an illusion. Just like she has always been."

Midori turned back to the mirror and her reflection stared back. Green eyes met green. The squire looked down at her hands, calloused and strong. And scarred.

"No, my heart has bore many more scars then this…" she murmured.

A quiet knock interrupted her thoughts and she answered. Neal stood in the doorway.

Midori hung her head as Neal spoke: "I heard about your friend…I saw you dancing with him at the Midwinter ball. Did you like him?"

Midori couldn't help it. Her mask fell to the floor and shattered. She just couldn't hide. "Yes." Her voice was barely a whisper, and tears slipped down her cheeks.

Neal looked hurt at his daughter's pain. And he had done nothing for almost fifteen years. Except watch her from a distance. "I'm sorry, sprout." He made to go and hug her but she shied away.

"You kept her from me. Why?"

"Who?" Neal whispered.

"Ma…"

"I wanted to protect you."

"From _what_ da?" she demanded, her voice louder.

"From her ghost. I would have told you sooner but something told me not to." Neal ran a hand through his hair.

"I've seen her ghost all along, da! In this room…she spoke to me."

"The concept of death has gotten to your head" Neal told her, getting angry.

"Or perhaps you have shut her from yourself!" Midori cried, tears pouring from her eyes. "Shut—her out like me!" her voice cracked.

"I haven't shut you out, Midori" Neal looked confused as his daughter opened a window that overlooked the garden, high up.

"You have. How many times have you said: "You'll know someday" when I asked about ma? So many times, I've lost count!" "How many times have you said: "Your mother would be proud" when I did something to prove my worth or love to you?" "Once. When I told you to stop wearing your mourning clothes and to get up into the sun. That was eight years ago. I was seven and only that one time have I heard you say those words."

"Your mother's loss was--" Neal was cut off by Midori's reply.

"Was what? Devastating? Heartbreaking? Like being drowned in ice?" "Did you not think I wouldn't notice her absence? I looked out the window each day and saw families together…whole families, I cried myself to sleep after those sights. I felt alone and all you did was mope in front of the hearth while I tried to think of ways to help you in the future…I trained and practiced with Aunt and I made habits that would help me in my dream…This dream. This honor. The honor of becoming a pillar of honor for the Queenscove line…that's all I wanted."

"I wanted many things too, sprout--" Neal's voice was strained with the effort of consoling his daughter.

"Don't call me that," she snapped, sitting on the windowsill, she looked down at the ground, so far down. She looked at her father and whispered. "You don't know me sir…you are no father of mine."

Midori hung onto the windowsill with on hand and swung out the window. Neal ran to the window, face horror-stricken. He grabbed her wrist and hung on. "Come on Midori, don't be stupid."

"I'm not, I'm just being insane. Insanity run in the blood I'm sure" she replied.

"I'm serious. Let go of the window--" Neal grunted as Midori let go and almost dragged him out the window.

"How'd you get to be so damn stubborn?" he asked.

"Like I said, da, it runs in the blood" she quipped.

Neal rolled his eyes, "Enough of the joking around, take my other hand and I'll pull you in."

"But--"

"No more jokes and no buts, come along and work with me here!" He was getting frustrated.

Midori swung to grab her father's other hand and as he pulled her inside the window, she felt a tugging at her foot. "Something's got me!" she whispered.

Neal looked out the window and saw a vine had caught on her foot. "Kick your foot out, it's just caught on a vine."

She did as she was told and it came loose. She fell to the floor in a heap of laughter.

Neal grinned, his facial features seeming to gain a boyish look. "Like I said, no more jokes…well maybe just one." He chuckled slyly and imitated Lord Wyldon—the former training master's voice—"Now get up, Queenscove, this is no time to joke around."

Midori cuffed her father on the back of the head, playfully. "That training master of yours gave you some good! But I regret to say I find myself agreeing to you, Sir Nealan"

"Gave me a good weeks worth of complaints, too." Neal laughed.


	23. Chapter 23: Pillar of Support

Chapter 23

That night the funerals took place. Certain doors hung black crepe on the frame to tell others they were in mourning. Jon relieved Kel of her duties for a time, but the Yamani knight insisted that she still do her responsibilities. The king left it at that, knowing Kel needed a distraction.

Midori let the veil of black cover her face, tears making tracks down her cheeks. Gazing into the mirror at herself dressed in a black kimono and sash with silver hair ornaments, she sighed heavily: "Time to say goodbye…" she turned from the mirror but glanced at the chain around her neck, glinting in the soft candlelight. She took the chain and the token of the hawk, making sure it was visible. Midori would wear Kalen's last gift in pride.

She made her way to the chapel, glancing at others who walked around her. Her friends. Amyl gave Midori a small smile in which she did not return, Oriana patted her arm, Sheba gave her a nod with her sympathy, and Emrys' squeezed her shoulder, giving her a comforting sense of peace.

As they entered to join the crowd, dressed in black, twelve men entered in groups of four carrying three caskets, draped in black.

They set them down and joined the crowd of mourners. Midori saw her very young cousin, Shale, in a smaller casket, face ashen. She choked back a sob as she was reminded vividly of the time when he once asked her to teach him how to 'spin a stick' like she and his mother did. Midori also saw her uncle and wondered what he must have thought in those few precious moments before death. He must have thought of his son and of his love. How he would leave them, cut down by a single, well-aimed arrow.

"_That was a brave death to die uncle,"_ she thought. _"But it took your son as well and Aunt's future dreams…but it wasn't your fault"_

Midori's breath hitched in her throat when she realized the only face she hadn't recognized was Kalen's. Her lover's face was composed and calm with the hint of a smile, but so white in death. Midori couldn't imagine him dying alone in the forest, too weak to continue and watching as his blood stained the ground in a puddle of red. She buried her head in her hands, unable to watch the funeral continue.

A priest stepped forward, murmuring prayers and spreading incense over each of the bodies, the smoke of the sweet-smelling incense burned her nose. Her mind was screaming and her heart weeping. She felt numb. Colors and sound blended in the haze of her tears, blending like the blood that was spilled and the tears that were now being shed.

_I hardly hear what's being said_

_As you lie there, now on your deathbed_

_Blood stained on the ground, so red_

_You cannot now be dead_

_I stand here now, not knowing what should be done_

_I feel I have lost when I should have won_

_I have become numb I cannot now run_

_I know another day will come, but for you, only this one_

_I want to sink in my sorrow, drown in my tears_

_I cannot imagine the later lonely years_

_Oh please, Goddess protect me from the jeers_

_Of my scorners and many peers_

_They are blind to what I feel_

_So why should their feelings be real?_

_Their insults ring inside my head, their laughter begins to peal_

_They are waiting for me to yield_

_They strip me bare of protections_

_They are waiting for my contradictions_

_Only one of them waits for my affections_

_Of which I will never give, I will build a wall from my rejections_

Midori now stood to pray to the gods for the safe passage of the spirits, gripping the hawk token tight, the chapel glowed with a strange purple and black light. The Goddess stood before the smaller casket, beckoning a child-shaped white light to her. The Goddess took Shalem's hand as he turned to Kel, hazel eyes questioning. The Great Mother turned to the Black God who stood before the ghosts of Dom and Kalen. The god of death nodded and Shale ran up to Kel and hugged her tight around the legs, Kel gasped and looked down, Alanna handed her the ember-stone, and the younger knight took it gasping in surprise at the sights before her. Dom turned, blue eyes shining with tears of his own and walked up to his wife, placing a hand on her shoulder and kissing her lips and cheek briefly before whispering something in her ear and turning back to the Great Gods.

Midori kept a grip on the hawk token as the specter of Kalen came closer he smiled at her tenderly. "You are no more alone then you seem, my love. Keep them—he gestured to Sheba, Oriana and Emrys standing behind her--close for I must go."

"No. I want to keep all of you close to me." She whispered.

Her friends gave her curious looks. _"They can't see him."_ she realized. She took the token from her neck and told them to put a hand on her own. They gasped softly as Dom, Shale and Kalen's ghosts came into focus.

"Death has come, so I must obey" Kalen replied.

"Go in peace. We shall duel together in death," Emrys murmured.

"An offer stands, Sir Emrys of Northwatch. Now I must go. Carry your shields in pride, all of you."

All four nodded and Kalen turned back to the gods, the Great Mother picked up Shalem and beaconed him to a deep slumber, the slumber of a true death.

In a flash of black and purple light they disappeared into the Peaceful Realms, never again to return to the mortal way of life.

The blessings were finished and as the twelve men bent to pick up the caskets, the priest stopped them and told them to step aside. They did without question and the four friends each took one side of Kalen's casket and balanced it on their shoulders. Mourners were surprised at this strange act of pure support. Midori felt the heavy weight of the casket on her shoulder, but it felt strangely light with the four of them. Here she was, a pillar of support. This was her place in the circle of friendship she shared with the four friends and of the friendship they had all shared with the fifth member of their group now in the Realms of the dead.

Kel, Raoul, Corporal Wolset, and Dom's father walked up to the second large casket and each took a side, carrying it on their shoulders to the courtyard.

Neal and Buri then took the smaller casket of Shalem to the courtyard, following the other two groups. The crowd dispersed through the courtyard to create an aisle for the carriers to place the caskets.

Three holes and gravestones lay in waiting for their charges. Here, the men took the burden and carefully lowered it into the ground. Moonlight washed the stones in an eerie light and gave the courtyard a sense of death. It told the crowd, death had passed overhead.

Midori went to the stables to speak to Yukiko; she needed the mare's calm presence now in this time of doubt. While walking to her mare's stall, she saw a shadowed figure move as if to hide. The shadow seemed to be of no harm but as Midori drew closer, she realized Yukiko was shaking. "What is it girl?" Midori asked. Yukiko neighed and gestured to the shadowed empty stall beside her and Midori realized with a pang of loneliness that the empty stall had been Velvet's. Midori pat Yukiko on the nose as she entered Velvet's stall. "Is anyone there?" she called.

"So the sprout I have been seeking comes toward the sun," said a distinctively female voice.

Midori looked around, confused, "Who's there?"

"I am" replied the voice.

"Who?"

"You will find out soon enough," replied the voice.

"Who _are_ you?" Midori pressed, getting annoyed.

"A organism not of your species" chuckled the woman voice.

"Show yourself! Step into the light" Midori commanded.

"As you wish, juvenile squire" the woman replied.

Midori wheeled around as a woman stepped into the mage-lights, hazel-green eyes twinkling and long brown-blonde hair sighing in the nightly breeze. The woman also looked as if she spent a long time under the sun, working, for her skin was tanned and her hands looked calloused. The loose, white cotton shirt and plain brown breeches were slightly dirty from her hiding in the stall. The riding boots on her feet were scuffed and looked worn.

The woman smiled, "So now that I am 'in the light', squire, what will you have me do?"

Sighing heavily, Midori crossed her arms over her chest. "Stop being so secretive for start and tell me why you were hiding."

"Can't a person hide if he or she feels obligated to?" replied the woman.

"You've read too many books on words," Midori muttered.

"I read a great many things, Squire Midori," the woman pointed out in a soft voice. "I have been sent by the Seer Goddess, Shakith to guide you."

"Not more god business" Midori rolled her eyes and found them stinging with tears. "I've got enough business with my shield that I don't need gods to meddle with my life too!" she sobbed, turning away.

Walking up to Midori, the woman placed her hand on Midori's shoulder. "You buried your friend tonight, didn't you?"

"Yes" she whispered. "My cousin and uncle too"

"I've never felt the way mortals feel death. It's different for us, immortals because we can't exactly die the never-returning death. Like this spiritual cat, called Faithful, died and became a constellation. That's the afterlife for us… my ma and da blessed me with the ability to shape shift after Faithful allowed one babe per hundred years to receive this rare gift."

"How?" asked the stunned squire.

"They call it Faithful's Blessing. That cat doesn't give it often, so I was glad to receive it. I can shift into this…" The woman's body rippled and her shadow shrank to that of a white cat with hazel-green eyes. Midori's eyes widened and she stumbled backwards, watching as the cat shifted back to its true form.

"Now, enough of my chatter, what about your training?" the woman asked.

"On one condition…" Midori told her.

"Oh the conditions always apply, don't they?" muttered the woman, rolling her eyes and turning to leave the stables.

Midori laughed quietly, remembering bitterly when Kalen made a promise to her. The promise still stood, even while he dwelled in death. "…You tell me your name."

"Nicola Renee of Cria. But please just call me Nicole" she replied, over her shoulder.


	24. Chapter 24: Porridge and Surprises

Chapter 24 

As dawn broke over the hills and pierced through the windowpane of Midori's room. A white cat stretched luxuriously and purred as the sun warmed her back. Midori rolled onto her stomach and looked down at the cat with bleary, red-rimmed eyes.

"You were crying in your sleep, I heard you. Bad dream?" asked the cat.

"I suppose, Nicole. I dreamt of my shield, it felt so real…but then Kalen told me to move on, then I was being beaten by Jarvis. Jarvis told me that I betrayed his 'love'. And then I died after a blow to the head." Midori told her, taking her glaive and testing its familiar weight with a shaking hand and beginning a pattern dance.

"Really? What did it—the shield look like?" Nicole asked sounding surprised.

"It…well it had a pale ocean-blue background with the symbol of an olive leaf being consumed in green fire. "'The Healers' Branch" they called it"

"Hmm. Do you suppose it was a vision? You _are_ watched by a Seer Goddess you know." The cat pointed out.

"I'm not sure if I just dreamt it or if it means anything…" Midori admitted.

Nicole sighed, changing into her woman form, and collected plain clothes and boots that magically appeared at her side. "Get dressed. We'll talk later, after I see these friend's of yours."

Midori nodded and did as she was told, quickly getting on clean breeches, shirt and tunic. Slipping on some boots, she asked. "What significance did the shield have? I know its image holds something…I just can't figure out"

"Don't trouble yourself, yet." Nicole chided softly quickly changing and going into the privy to splash water on her face. "Look, it's going to be a beautiful day out, and who knows what will happen?"

Midori hung her glaive back up on its hooks and sighed, feeling better as she looked out to the bright sunshine out the window. "Maybe it's just…isn't that…Oh great, just wonderful! Father and Aunt have to go back to New Hope!"

"They've got business there, Midori." Nicole told her as she saw a man ride out with a company of men and one woman.

"But they get to actually _help_ thier country while I'm stuck here training. I could help da in the infirmary!" she cried. "I could save the wounded before they died…I could have…If I knew sooner…"

"You wish you could have saved Kalen and your uncle and Shale when you had the chance" finished Nicole with a sympathetic look.

Midori's face fell and she nodded sadly. "I only know the basics of healing but I want to know more. So I can heal to repay those I've killed"

"I'll teach you if you want?"

"You will?" Midori's mouth broke into a grin.

"I can" nodded Nicole.

"Thank you" Midori replied, in barely a whisper.

Nicole pulled Midori back from the doorframe, as she was about to exit. "Is that he, the boy who beat you? Jarvis?" she gestured to the tough-looking blonde boy walking down the hall.

"Yes, but it was only a dream…" Midori told her friend.

"You can never be too careful," muttered Nicole as she scowled and bared her teeth in a threatening way, hissing slightly at Jarvis' back.

"Your too cat-like for your own good." Commented the girl-squire.

"Instincts are sharper this way, Midori" Nicole replied, her features softening into a smile.

Rolling her eyes, Midori made her way to the mess hall, chuckling to herself. At the mess hall, it was unnaturally silent except for the clatter of cutlery and the busy cooks in the kitchen. Any conversation, if any, was spoken in whispers. Getting her food, she walked to her normal spot but froze in mid-step as Jarvis stood from a seat and blocked her way. "I told you I'd get you someday, Queenscove, and without Hawk-boy here to protect you…I suppose you're mine for the taking" the boy hissed.

Rage crackled and burned her throat as she replied icily. "I am no one's for the taking, you sick rat!"

Jarvis chuckled, "You've softened even more Queenscove. I would have thought a girl like you would've broke down at Hawkboy's death and committed suicide. But considering I paid those raiders to kill him, his death was meaningless…"

Midori looked shocked. "You didn't!" she cried.

"I did. Now with that news I bet you'll sleep soundly tonight in tears" Jarvis taunted.

Midori took her bowl of porridge in her hand and had the sudden urge to instead stab him with her fork but decided against it and dumped the porridge over Jarvis' head and ran.

With Jarvis' furious yelling and the laughter of the spectators ringing in her ears, Midori dashed through the halls, trying to escape if Jarvis ever decided to run after her. She suddenly felt herself on her back, a figure looming over her. The figure laughed and held out a hand, hazel eyes sparkling. "Who you running from, lass?" a warm voice asked.

"Someone who is very angry and probably wants to wring my neck for dumping porriage on his head" she murmured, feeling guilty and taking the hand, hoisting herself up.

"You've come to the right person" the man remarked.

Midori realized who it was. "George!" she grinned. She knew the baron from her father's trips to Pirates Swoop; often he would bring her along to play with Thom's son and daughter, not twins, as many expected.

"Aye lass it's me. As for your hiding spot, I know just the place," George told her. "The Dove." He gave her a wink and walked off.

She nodded and told him to meet her outside in a few minutes. She watched the baron walk back along the hall and turn a corner.

"Nicole?" Midori whispered. "Nicole!" she called, looking for her white cat.

"Here!" Nicole replied, trotting up in cat form. "Are you going somewhere? Because you'll need a chaperone if you're going to the city"

"George Cooper's coming with us." Midori explained.

"The Rogue's King?" Nicole cocked her head to one side.

"No, you silly, the baron of Pirates Swoop, he's no longer the King of Thieves." Midori laughed.

Nicole nodded and hopped onto Midori's shoulder, "I like being high up here, makes me seem important." Midori only laughed harder as her friend stuck her with a claw behind the ear making her yelp in pain. "More important things to worry about then my comments, like your safety if Jarvis catches up with you."

"Yes" Midori broke into a run and hurried to the stables, not bothering to tack her mare as she mounted.

"Riding bareback are we?" George inquired. "Like warriors of old. And riding with a supernatural cat upon her shoulder, she acts more and more like my lass and Keladry everyday. Neal's quirkiness has snagged a bit of her manner, I told the boy he'd regret having passed his attitude onto his children, but he didn't listen…" George chuckled, "she is like her parents in some way…" he mused, leading his own mare to the entrance of the temple district.

Slowing Yukiko to a walk, Midori gazed around the city and smiled at the many sights. She had only passed the city a few times but had forgotten the sense of freedom Corus gave her.

Tying their horses outside the Dove, George took Midori, with Nicole on her shoulder, inside.

Midori's mouth curled into a wide grin at the smiling faces around her. "Surprise!" her friends and family cried.

She gazed at George who had sat next to Alanna. "You knew all along!" she accused.

George shrugged, "And spoil the surprise your friends had so carefully planned? I tghink not!"

"So I was _supposed_ to get Jarvis angry?" Midori asked.

"Well, not that part, but you did happen upon me in your escape, so it worked out" George laughed as Midori frowned.

Her friend's crowded around her and laughed when she told them about beating Jarvis, she also told them about Nicola, the she-cat shifted to her human form and was introduced.

"Faithful's Blessing?" Alanna inquired, as Nicole told them about the reason she could shift into the form of a cat.

"Yes." Nicola nodded. And she told them about her reasons about being sent to Midori. Alanna's serious look diminished as she remembered her squire hood friend. Alanna gripped her ember stone. "Yes. There are traces of his magic in your core. Purple, like his eyes."

"And yours, Alanna" Nicole smiled.

Alanna nodded, chuckling, "Yes. And mine."

Amyl passed Midori a glass of lemonade and raised her glass, as did the others. The scene reminded Alanna of her squire years, after Francis of Nond, Raoul's 'blonde shadow' had died of the Sweating Sickness. Except for Alexander of Tirrigan, the friends had all gotten quite close. Much was the same for this group. It had taken squire Kalen's death to bring them all closer, but Alanna wished for the sake of these friends, no traitor lay in their midst as well.

"A toast." Amyl continued, as everyone raised his or her glass, "To Midori's sixteenth birthday, to knighthood and to friendship. So mote it be." She murmured.

"To Midori's sixteenth, knighthood and to friendship!" the four repeated, jovially. The four brought their glasses together in a solid _clink _as others raised their glass in agreement.

Birthdays came and went. Knighthood passed over time. But friendship lasted your whole life.

And Midori realized with a sharp pang of bitterness, that Kalen would no longer be with her, would not celebrate another ball or birthday. All in all, never be with her again.

She could not help but think it was her fault.

In a way it had been.

Now that Kalen was out of the way.

Another man could claim her heart and soul.

A man she had no desire to, and ever would love…

The beautiful—but dark.

Jarvis of Stone Mountain.


	25. Chapter 25: Burning

**Chapter 25**

Midori glanced around. Only two more years of squire-hood and the Ordeal would be upon her. For now, she would enjoy having little responsibility.

Amyl handed her a small box. "Open it." she prompt.

Midori cut the string with her dagger and watched as the box fell open to reveal a small silver bracelet engraved with the Yamani symbols for good luck, protection, friendship and love. "Thank you Amyl." she whispered, taking the bracelet from the box and admiring it as it shone in the gold light of candles.

"You're welcome." Amyl replied.

A second box was passed to her, by Emrys, and she took it with a murmured thanks. Opening this one, she found it to be a pair of new black riding boots and a helm. She tried on the boots and helm, they fit snug. "How'd you find my sizes for these?"

"I have my sources." Emrys replied with a sly smile, Oriana cuffed him on the head and he laughed, kissing Oriana's cheek.

Midori chuckled but fell silent as Nicole suddenly stood, hands melting to paws with unsheathed claws, her mouth curled into a snarl.

"What is it?" Midori whispered.

"Hush!" she snapped, "Grab weapons, all of you!"

All four stood daggers or swords in hand. Midori heard the horses neighing and people screaming and running for help. "Take the left road, men, Surround 'im" a gruff voice commanded.

Oriana gasped as she heard the screams and war-cries getting louder, Emrys looked around, hazel eyes wary. Midori took a deep calming breath, steadying her dagger in shaking hands. Alanna and George stood around the four, waiting for an attack.

"Get some of our men to New Hope! I'll hold them off!" Amyl visibly paled as she recognized the voice as Merric's. Midori placed a comforting hand on Amyl's shoulder, and her friend faced her with shocked pale blue eyes. "As a mother lark must soon say goodbye to her chicks, you must remember that a daughter must soon say goodbye to her childhood. He fights his own battles, Amyl, and so must we..."

Amyl nodded and set her jaw stubbornly, mouth pressed in a tight line. "I must be strong, like you Midori." Midori, in a moment of stunned-surprise, noticed a great change in the once-timid Amyl. She had grown confident in herself and dedicated in protecting her friends. They had all changed.

"I'm only strong because I've got friendship as my shield" Midori replied.

Amyl gripped the hilt of her dagger, with a white-knuckled hand as the door of the Dove burst open and ten men stormed in, clad in chain mail, breastplates and carrying long, bloodstained broadswords. "Grab what you can; these silly women are no threat." He murmured to the nine behind him.

"Men are no better then women!" Alanna snapped.

"Watch what your sayin' Sir Alanna. King Denvar of Scanra doesn't like people who don't cooperate." said the leader, pointing his broadsword at the lady knight.

"So that's the new king?" whispered Midori, stepping in front of Alanna, daggers looking puny next to the large swords the men carried. "You can tell your king, 'Denvar' that he cannot expect Tortall to give you anything!"

"Just the reaction I was expecting..." the leader sniggered as he thrust his sword through what he guessed to be the fabric of her tunic. But at the last moment, Midori felt the brush of a cool breeze and felt her hand grasp a familiar object.

A Yamani fan.

She heard the fan rip but not break as the sword was stabbed through, and felt her muscles ripple with fluid motions as she closed the fan and flipped it, catching the sword hilt in her hands. She saw her reflection in the shards of broken glasses and lit by the dying candlelight and small fires that had broke out, and grinned. Her voice held all the grace of a proper lady and yet the harshness of a young commander. It was her mother's reflection she saw and her own voice she heard. "Scared yet?" she asked, her mother spirit's brown eyes sparkling as she held the blade at the leader's throat.

"No..." the leader chuckled moving forward.

Midori suddenly landed flat on her back, with a sharp cry of pain, the spirit shaken from her body and her features returning to her own, she gasped as the leader pulled a dagger from a sheath in his boot and pointed it at her throat. "... I am intrigued."

"Why?" she hissed.

"Such stubbornness from a woman should be used upon the corset, not the battlefield." replied the man, pressing the blade harder against her throat, making Midori gasp as her air was cut off.

"May the gods take pity on your pitiful soul." Said the man moving to slit her throat, Nicole pounced in cat form, changing to that of a woman and scratched at the man's face, finally blinding and killing him. The heat of the fires from broken barrels of ale was suffocating and the smoke was as black as the Dark God's cloak. She hissed in frustration and found Amyl trying to retrieve Midori's gifts.

"Leave them!" Nicole cried, coughing as the thick smoke hovered over her and the fires roared and snarled. Cursing, as beams crashed and wood burned, Nicole tried to find the others. "George! Alanna!" she coughed again and drew in a sharp breath, "Emrys! Oriana?" "If you can hear me, answer!"

"We hear you, Nicole!" a voice called. Emrys was supporting a limping Oriana, one arm slung across her shoulder.

"You both get out of here!" Nicole ordered, "I'll find Midori! I lost her when the barrels caught flame."

Emrys hurried out without a second glance. Nicole grimaced and ran toward a still figure on the ground. "Midori! Midori are you alright?" Nicole cried, kneeling next to the limp figure, finding tears stinging her eyes. Hearing the wood creak beneath the pressure of the fire, Nicole slung an unconscious Midori over her shoulders and ran for both their lives as the Dancing Dove finally collapsed.

As the fire still raged, silence greeted the woman as she stepped into the street, and felt a damp breeze ruffle her hair. Sucking in the sweet air she stumbled, coughed bent over and emptied her stomach, squeezing her eyes against the burning sensation in them.

Wiping her mouth, she frowned and continued down to the palace, her friend still slung over her shoulders. "I hate rescue missions" she muttered, glancing at Midori and smiling she told herself firmly, "But you don't let friends die..."


	26. Chapter 26: Faithful

**Chapter 26**

Nicole groaned as she heard voices. Loud voices ringing in her mind like the sharp peals of bells. She opened her mind's eye to find a silver she-wolf standing over her. "Nicola of Cria?" the wolf murmured.

"That is my full title, Silver, and you'll do well to remember it." Nicole replied her face set in a stubborn frown.

"Temper, temper. I see you've grown adapted to your new friend and her foolish actions." Silver replied with a chuckle.

"They are foolish but she knows her place." Nodded Nicole, glancing around as bright white lights surrounded her almost blinding the she-cat as she backed away. Wild beats like the throb of drums sounded as the gods lifted their hands, light spilling over like an overfilled cup. Music surrounded the gods and shape shifter like a frothy mist from the sea on a cloudy day, it wove with the wild beating of the drums, creating a mystical scene. Nicola stared as Silver raised her head and howled a harmonious but commanding note. It frightened Nicole to say the least, she backed off slightly, shifting back to her human form, but stiffened as a sword was pressed roughly to her throat and a deep voice rang in her mind: "Learn to keep up your guard; you'll need it on this journey." The sword was taken from her throat as a familiar voice shook her from her wonder:

"Have care with that blade, Mithros, you may be a god but immortals can be slain, and with a simple slip of the hand, she could be with your brother in death." A cool voice said.

Nicole blinked as a tall, wiry man with coal-black hair and strangely alluring purple eyes, walked forward and offered his hand, which she took with a worried glance.

"It's alright," laughed the man, eyes dancing. "I'm a friend. Mortals often see me imprinted upon the stars."

"Faithful!" exclaimed Nicole, hazel-green eyes wide.

The man nodded. "Years travel fast in the Mortal Realms, my kitten. You're older now, I see, and more beautiful then before."

Nicole was jolted back to a memory, lost to childhood, a time when this same man—as a cat had once said those same words. She had been only three when he had first come, blessing her with the white cat form and telling her that he would visit again. Six years had passed and she, at thirteen, had lost all remembrance of the strange purple-eyed cat, save for his compelling amethyst gaze. It had haunted her dreams until he had come again. This time was the third. She had waited four years more and he had appeared once again.

Nicole bowed to one knee as the Great Mother stepped forward and spoke, her voice like the barking of hounds: "Faithful, my servant, has spoken much of your loyalty to your mistress, Squire Midori of Queenscove, and how you strive to protect her in any way. You saved her from fire, do I stand correct?"

"Yes, Great Mother, I believe it is the right thing to do for Midori. She is a--" Nicole was cut off by Silver's sarcastic input: "Foolish."

The Goddess gave her a sharp look and the she-wolf fell silent as Nicole continued in a small voice: "--headstrong mortal and needs my watchful eye."

"Faithful?" the Great Mother turned to the man, who nodded and told Nicola to stand. "Follow me. I have to show you something you must see." He said in an emotionless tone.

Nicole could tell the man, who once had assisted Alanna on her quest for knighthood as a supernatural cat, was concerned for Nicole the way he hesitated when he offered his hand again. She took it and he led her into a large expanse of a room covered with a thick coating of ice at least 2 feet thick. He led her to the center and told her to look up. "What do you see?" he asked in quiet voice that was peculiarly soothing.

"Stars. Many, many stars." She answered, feeling an overwhelming sense of peace as Faithful chuckled.

"What do you see in the stars, little kitten?" he inquired, eyes glazing over.

"I see..." Nicole squinted to decipher the hazy image that appeared. "The Chamber of Ordeal, the door is opening and Midori is walking out. Oh gods she looks terrible! She has a...a letter of some kind in her hand."

"It's a letter she must read on the night she receives the shield, a letter from the dead..."

"From the dead! What does it say?" Nicole took Faithful's hand and gripped it tightly, as he murmured in her ear. "We will find out soon enough, my kitten, it is time for you to go back to your friends..."

"Will I ever see you again?" Nicola cried as a door of blue light appeared, sparkling with tiny reflections of stars.

"I come and go as I please, but if you truly must know, look to the stars and a constellation shall appear for you. Now go!" "I will miss you, kitten, and take care of yourself now." He replied, brushing her cheek with a kiss.

Taking one last look at the man who had haunted her childhood dreams and spoke to her in his cat form, she faded into the door of starlight five words lingering on her lips as she vanished: "I'll miss you too, Faithful."

Nicole gasped and sat up from her bed, face wet with tears. She whispered the name she had long since remembered and had pushed aside. "Faithful."

Alanna, who had been talking with Baird, turned around sharply and looked dumbstruck. "You're awake." She nodded, acknowledging Nicole's presence. "You've been unconscious from smoke inhalation, we found you near the temple district, out cold. Midori still isn't awake but she'll be alright soon enough."

Nicole nodded, still a little shocked. "He spoke to me, Alanna, Faithful spoke to me."

Alanna looked surprised, "How?"

"In a vision of some kind, he was not a cat but a man, he's been coming and going in my childhood years and this is the third time I've seen him." She replied.

"He gave you the cat form and helped you." Alanna whispered, "Helped you to become a guardian for the Goddess like him."

"Yes. He has loved me like a kitten and I cannot repay him with failing Midori..."

Alanna was jolted back to early memories of her and Faithful, back in her own squire years, and also when a man used to call her 'Kitten'. Liam Ironarm the former Shang Dragon who died on the same night as her brother, the night Roger was defeated for the second and hopefully final time.

"He also told me to look to the stars when I feel alone...he'll appear." Nicole murmured, almost dreamily.

Alanna only nodded, lost in her own memories.


	27. Chapter 27: Balor's Needle

**Chapter 27**

**Green Eyes**

_The glaive which she did wield_

_Struck fear in my heart on the battlefield_

_It was her, the lady with the mask, revealed_

_She stood by the window face once again veiled_

_She turned, green eyes distant, and brushed past without a sigh_

_How could she do that to one such as I?_

_See thorough me, see past the intention, the lie_

_Of which has trapped me, I can't escape, no matter how I try_

_I see her riding that white mare_

_So strong, so beautiful, so fair_

_To love me she would not dare_

_I wonder if she would even care_

_Asleep now in my bed, I can only dream_

_Of the vision that I have created, of her blank green eyes, stitched into my every seam_

_A plan forms, a downright clever scheme_

_What does it take to love, I want to scream_

_I want a love that is sublime_

_I need a little more time_

_As long as it takes, a month, a year, seven days, even nine_

_I will do whatever as long as it makes her mine_

Midnight fell like a blanket over Tortall and a sliver of silver moonlight outlined a slowly waking figure in white. Bandaged hands were examined and the figure groaned as it tried to get up. As the figure sat up and tried to stand, it yelped in pain but stubbornly refused to go back to bed. The figure moved swiftly and managed to exit the infirmary and slip into the halls, unnoticed. Or so it thought.

_The glaive which she did wield_

_Struck fear in my heart on the battlefield_

_It was her, the lady with the mask, revealed_

_She stood by the window face once again veiled_

Jarvis of Stone Mountain watched as this figure moved through the hallways, knowing full well who it was. He had been anxious to get Kalen out of the way, since he had seen the kiss in the garden, and had been successful in killing him off. Now was the time to make moves of his own in this dizzying dance of unrequited love.

Jarvis kept to the shadows, sneaking around the figure which was silhouetted in the blackness that kept him from her sight. He froze as she looked back, hair flowing around well-defined, slender shoulders like a blackened river after sundown, eyes catching the small shafts of moonlight that shone weakly through the large window. It was a sight to make any softhearted man fall to his knees, but not him.

_I see her riding that white mare_

_So strong, so beautiful, so fair_

_To love me she would not dare_

_I wonder if she would even care_

_Asleep now in my bed, I can only dream_

_Of the vision that I have created, of her blank green eyes, stitched into my every seam_

_A plan forms, a downright clever scheme_

_What does it take to love, I want to scream_

"_Keep your act up, Stone Mountain."_ Growled his mind. _"She's no court beauty, she is your _enemy_! Get her, pin her down and finish her off!"_ Shaking his head to clear it, Jarvis scowled and, as quick as lightning, held Midori in a head-lock. She opened her mouth to cry out but Jarvis covered her mouth, silencing her.

"Don't you cry out, or it's the slumber of darkness for you!" he rumbled in her ear as she struggled against his firm hold.

Jarvis kicked her behind the knees, gripping her tighter still as she groaned and fell to the floor on her knees, half-carrying her now, Jarvis dragged her down the hall, outside to Balor's Needle, where he began the climb up.

"Don't struggle in less you want to die. Those bandaged hands won't help you for long if you intend to hang on and climb back up." He grunted. She let him carry her up, limp in his hold and mentally cursing herself and the situation she had let herself get into.

Putting her on the ground, Jarvis bound and gagged her. Sitting down, he watched her struggle against her bindings and laughed when she finally gave up. He met her green livid gaze coolly and edged closer to her. "Can't escape now, can you, seedling? You know, sprouts often grow most beautifully when their faces are turned toward the sun..." Midori turned away, feeling her chances of help slip beneath her fingers, as if the key to her heart was being pried from her fingers and her deepest secrets revealed. Jarvis roughly gripped her chin forcing her to face him, wrenched off the gag and kissed her.

_I want a love that is sublime_

_I need a little more time_

_As long as it takes, a month, a year, seven days, even nine_

_I will do whatever as long as it makes her mine_

Midori struggled against her bonds, silently cursing as Jarvis' tongue slid between her slightly parted lips. She kicked herself for even opening her mouth to curse and longed to throw him over the edge of Balor's Needle right now. Throw him to his death as he had done to Kalen, this man—this snake had even openly admitted to murder, but he had other men do his dirty work.

Jarvis failed to notice Midori as she inched away from his touch, he wrapped his arms around her, his fingertips brushing her arms and shoulders as his mouth roughly caressed her neck and collarbone and clearly enjoying her helplessness as his hands explored her curvaceous, well-worked body.

A glint of hazel-green caught Midori's eye and she prayed it was here to help. The hazel-green glint was soon accompanied by purple. It was Nicola and Faithful.

She was then pushed aside as the cats pounced on Jarvis, hissing threateningly, telling him to stay away, and biting his wrists to prove their point. Nicola hurried over to Midori and untied her. Midori stood shakily as Jarvis was pinned to the ground, a knife pressed to his throat.

"Stop!" commanded Midori.

Faithful and Nicola looked surprised.

"If I kill him now, he won't cause you any more grief." growled Faithful.

"No, I should show mercy towards my enemies, as a soon-to-be-knight must show an act of chivalry towards a rather nasty noble, I must do the same."

Faithful nodded, taking the dagger from Jarvis' throat and watching as Jarvis stood, offering his hand. "Shall we call it a truce?"

"We should have never fought. But you did some things that can never be erased..." Midori replied, looking out to the three gravestones that stood in the courtyard.

Jarvis sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Tell that to your mind, Stone Mountain!" she replied coldly, "I will never have another uncle or cousin like them...they were very close to aunt...and you killed them to earn me. Let me tell you something, Jarvis, _I_ am _no_ trophy to prize and...I have already loved a man who is now in death because of you!" "I can never love again, once my heart and soul have passed into death with my lover..."

Midori brushed past Jarvis without a word, eyes unfocussed and shining with tears, and began the precarious climb down, determined to get some rest, leaving Jarvis with Midori's explanations and a stunned mind.

_She turned, green eyes distant, and brushed past without a sigh_

_How could she do that to one such as I?_

_See thorough me, see past the intention, the lie_

_Of which has trapped me, I can't escape, no matter how I try_


	28. Chapter 28: Womanhood

Chapter 28 

Midori made her way to her bedchambers and as soon as her head hit the pillow, she was pulled into a dreamless, coma-like sleep.

The next morning, she awoke with seemingly a sore stomach and decided it was just from the stress of the other night.

"Gods he is insufferable! Jarvis seems just _too_ desperate!" she groaned, as she scrubbed her face and turned back to the bed to make it. She froze as she saw the cream sheets stained with red. Cursing, she tore the sheets off the bed and checked for wounds on her body, but found none. "This is a prank, it has to be!" she whispered fiercely, feeling hot tears in her eyes, much to her surprise.

A knock suddenly sounded at the door, Midori wheeled around, kicking the bloodied sheets under the bed for now. She bit her lip and decided to let whomever it was, in.

Owen stood at the door but he frowned when he saw Midori's tight smile. "What's wrong?" he demanded.

Midori bit her lip again and slipped on her mask, "I-I need a healer, preferably a female one."

"Why? Are you sick?"

Midori shook her head.

"Hurt?"

Again, Midori shook her head.

"Well I'm not a healer myself but I'll take you to Alanna" Owen took her arm and led her down the hall towards the infirmary.

Once there, she saw Baird and many healers scattering around doing various tasks. Owen tapped the shoulder of the closest healer, an elderly woman in a light blue robe, who ushered Midori into another room and shut the door. "Now, squire, your knight-master informed me of some sort of…dilemma."

Midori nodded, "I'm bleeding in a secret place…" she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

The woman nodded her head in understanding, "I believe, squire, the Great Mother has blessed you with the beginnings of womanhood, you are going through what every woman goes through sometime in their life, the monthly cycle. Once every month, you will bleed and it should last about three to five days. But I must warn you, not to lie with a man now, in less you want to get pregnant."

"No, I won't until I'm ready." Midori said.

"Good girl. Now while you are having your cycle, you should wear cloth pads and always have an extra pair of undergarments and breeches in case the blood soaks through, understood?"

"Yes."

"I'll give you a bag of the cloth pads, so you won't have to keep coming back. And an anti-pregnancy charm, wait here."

The woman hurried off and a few minutes later came back with a small sack and a chain that held a charm that glowed with a dull gold light. "You'll also notice your breasts will begin developing."

"Believe me, I've noticed and have breastbands." Midori muttered dryly, glad to have her problems solved. "And so have some of the men."

The woman laughed softly, "Don't worry, squire, men do that. Why, in my day, I wasn't much of a head-turner, but I was kind enough to win a heart. Sam, Black God bless his soul, was a good man, and I hope you find your soul mate out there somewhere. Your father met a good lady and was crushed when she died; I know how close your mother and your father were. Shame she had to die."

"You know him?" Midori looked up.

"Your father? Of course dear, I've assisted him here in the infirmary, and he always knows how to make a lonely elder laugh. Now, enough of my ranting, your knight-master's waiting."

With the sack in hand, Midori watched as her knight-master stood near a large window, staring out at the glaring afternoon sun. "Owen?"

He turned and smiled, "It's a beautiful day, one that Margarry would enjoy."

"Sorry to intrude, sir, but who is Magarry?" Midori asked, innocently.

"Margarry of Cavall, my betrothed." Owen replied, feeling quite proud of himself.

"The Stump's daughter?" She had learned of the nickname from Merric when she asked about her father's knighthood.

Owen laughed, "Yes, the Stump's daughter. And a jolly one at that, she loves horses and dogs as much as I do. Shame she couldn't be here to meet you."

"We could go see her then, at the spring equinox!" Midori cried.

"You overgrown child you, that's the silliest idea I've ever heard from you, yet!" Owen laughed, walking from the infirmary.

"It could work, though. I'm serious." She rolled her eyes and swatted at his arm playfully, shaking her head.

Owen ruffled her hair, "You know Lord Wyldon will not approve."

"You don't know unless you try!" insisted his stubborn squire.

"Get your practice sword and meet me in the second court, lets practice dueling and hopefully you'll blow off some of that steam."

She agreed and remembered to quickly change into a cloth pad and fresh breeches, grabbing her practice sword and bow as she hurried out the door, locking it as she left.

**A/N: Any more ideas people? Because I'm stuck for the next chapter! **

**Any suggestions or ideas would be greatly appreciated!**

**- Notebook and Star**


	29. Chapter 29: Cheating Death once again

Chapter 29

The spring months came in a rush and soon Midori and her knight master were headed to Cavall to visit Owen's betrothed. "I have no idea how you convinced me." Owen laughed.

"Easy, I kept reminding you that she'd want to see you and you gave in." Midori replied, taking the reins of Yukiko from a stable boy with murmured thanks. Owen rolled his eyes and mounted his own stallion, Midori mounting and following him out of the main gates. Down the road they traveled, discussing the court and friends. "You know, I wonder where your little white cat is?" Owen looked behind him but they weren't being followed.

Midori looked in her saddlebags and found the cat curled up inside, she put a finger to her lips and pointed inside. Owen nodded and hid a smile behind his hand. "That cat appears everywhere," he mumbled, riding ahead.

Midori let him get ahead and grinned as she looked around at the early morning sky, dawn warming their faces and the crisp breeze refreshing them, giving them a spurt of new energy. Yukiko slowed to a walk, her mistress wishing to walk beside her, to enjoy the morning.

"Not much of a scenery, squire, but it is a nice morning." Owen commented absent-mindedly.

"Yes it is a nice morning but it seems too quiet…" Midori's hand went to the hilt of her sword, but did not draw it.

"It's only early morning, squire, nothing to worry about. It's always quiet at this time." Owen told her, putting a hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze. Midori nodded slowly and remounted.

By mid-afternoon they stopped and had a late lunch of bread, meat, cheese and cider. They then packed up afterwards and continued down the road to Cavall. For another two hours they rode, silence stretching over them and a long expanse of road in front. Midori rolled her eyes and sighed plainly bored. "Are we there yet?"

"No, squire."

Three hours later and many groans of 'Are we there yet?' later… 

"Are we--"

"Yes, Midori, we're here. Thank the gods!" Owen muttered, running a hand through his hair.

Midori smirked, one way to irritate her knight master was to repeat questions over and over, and it seemed she had annoyed him enough. As they rode into Cavall, Midori noticed the firm air of discipline the place seemed to have. She grinned as she saw a few practice courts off to the side. The flag of Cavall flew in the wind as a soft breeze blew by ruffling her black hair. "I'm going to like staying here with Owen."

Nicola who had just woken up and was now sitting in a special pocket in the saddle, noticed a boy walking over to attend to the horses and smirked in her cat-like way, "Sure you would." She replied cheekily, receiving a surprised look from her friend.

"It's not like I'd fall for one of these boys, Nicole!"

Nicole rolled her eyes and shook her head, "We'll see, you hopeless romantic. Now get off the saddle and tend to your horse!"

Midori did as she was told, quickly and without any more questions, wondering about what Nicole had said. Rolling her eyes and finishing, she picked Nicole and placed her on her shoulder. "You act normal, you here?" she told the cat, who meowed moodily and licked her paw in response, "Fine".

Midori walked around, looking for her knight master. She didn't realize anyone was coming her way until she found herself on her back, someone leaning over her, she was going to snap a rude comment but stopped herself as her eyes fell upon a familiar face.

Had it been only her imagination?

"I'm sorry," the boy said hurriedly picking up his dropped tools and running away, blushing furiously.

Midori watched him go, curiosity clawing at the back of her mind. "When have I seen that embarrassed look?"

"Your lover a year ago, remember?" Nicole replied, "Must be a relation of some sort."

"No, not him. It can't be Kalen. We buried him…" Midori said sadly.

"Don't you remember? The face was so distorted in death…" Nicole smiled as her mistress remembered.

"Goddess! Then he's _alive_!" Midori cried.

"He may be clinging to life now…" Nicole replied. "The slumber of true death may have…been tweaked with by yours truly. I'm afraid for your aunt's sake the gods will have to decide if your cousin and uncle will go back." The cat bowed as if finished a dance and hopped onto Midori's shoulder as the squire quickly rode out, bareback, to the Royal Forest where Kalen had last been seen, a few months back.

A few hours later found Midori stumbling through the Royal Forest, tears falling from her eyes, calling out his name. She felt the token of the hawk grow warmer the closer she got and finally she found him, gasping and choking on breath and muttering, "The gods don't set your life down lightly…Midori is that you?"

She found herself crying with joy as she helped him to sit up, "Yes! Yes it's me." Midori leaned against him, sobbing into his shoulder but not caring if anyone thought her strange.

"It was the strangest thing, love. I was brought to the gods and they told me I could go back…they gave me a few days to decide and I chose life…and this is where I found myself."

Midori laughed despite herself, "I'm glad you're back."

"Now, what's happened?"

Midori told him of all that had happened since his 'death' and as she finished he smiled, "I'm not missing your birthday, even though I've already missed it." Chuckling, he kissed her, slowly and passionately.

Nicole just rolled her eyes and left to give the couple privacy, hoping they wouldn't go too far…


	30. Chapter 30:Talking of Knighthood

Chapter 30 

**A/N: Here's my excuse for not updating in so long: I had a seizure a couple weeks ago and have not been able to be on the computer because of the medication I'm taking. But now I'm back for a bit.**

Midori suddenly broke from a third passionate kiss, eyes wide. "Kalen…do you remember when Lord Ceylon told us to meet him in his office? The day I was told my uncle Dom and Shale were pronounced dead?"

"Yes…but why do you bring this up?"

"Is this the spring equinox?" Midori asked.

"I believe it is…oh no…I can't." His face suddenly paled as he realized if the training master knew if he was not dead, he could be forced to take the Ordeal, which he definatily did not wish to do just yet.

Midori gripped his shirt, "You can't." she whispered, tears prickling at the back of her eyes.

"If I appear in court again, I have to, I agreed." Kalen sighed, holding Midori close as he leaned against a tree.

"Nicole, where are you?" she whispered, hoping the cat was nearby. Kalen shifted so he could stand and sighted the cat grooming herself and trying to hide behind a bush. The cat sighed, "Why don't I just wear a collar and a bell that rings every-time I try and hide from you?"

"Why don't you go and catch some fish, or give us some privacy?" Midori replied, hoping the cat shapeshifter would take the hint.

Hazel-green eyes rolled in response but a tail flicked at the mention of fish and she turned her back and trotted off muttering, "Mmm, I hope these rivers have some sort of trout, or salmon…not the slippery anchovies!" as she ran off.

Midori hid a grin and helped Kalen to stand, "You should see her before supper!"

"Spoiling her appetite I'm sure. When did you get the news that I…how do I put this?" "How long since I passed into the Peaceful Realms?"

Midori's grin faded. "A couple months ago, I think."

"Months!" Kalen ran a hand through his black hair and buried his head in his hands, sighing deeply and almost tripping over a fallen branch, Midori grabbed his arm to steady him.

"It must be a shock" she admitted, "When I heard you weren't dead, well…you can imagine the reaction"

"Yes. But Midori that means…you're sixteen…I'm to take the Ordeal…"

"Calm down. You're not taking it in this year alone, Kalen, I'm going to take it with you…and if we convince Oriana, Sheba and Amyl they'll take it as well. You don't turn seventeen until this fall which still hasn't come." Midori's face broke into a wide grin.

"This is strange." Kalen commented, walking over to Yukiko and patting her off-white flanks. "She recognizes me" he chuckled as the mare lipped his hand.

"She smells a bit of Velvet, I think" Midori replied, helping him to mount.

"Actually Velvet's dead as well." Kalen sighed sadly as he urged the mare on.

"Aren't the others going to have quite a shock when they see you?" Midori laughed.

"Yes. By the gods, yes they will" he replied, hoping that the court would understand Midori's idea of her and his friends taking the Ordeal of Knighthood earlier then expected.


	31. Chapter 31: Filler in Chapter

**Chapter 31**

As they neared the castle, idly watching the first year squires practice swordplay, Midori suddenly remembered an important thing she knew Owen would be mad at her for. She had never told him she was leaving for Corus or when she was going to leave. When she had received the news that her lover was brought back from the dead, she did not think of her knight-master or of anything else except hurrying to find Kalen. It had all been a blur of action and emotion as far as she knew, and Owen would probably be furious, and quite disappointed.

"We've got to hurry and send a message by bird to my knight-master. Sir Bennel will probably wonder why you're suddenly appearing but tell him to blame my cat. Although she is kind, she does get in trouble, and this time she's in way over her head." Midori explained as Kalen nodded.

Yukiko stopped and Kalen dismounted, "You know, you'd make an excellent commander, but don't forget to report!" he playfully scolded, kissing her cheek and going to see if he could duel any of the squires.

Midori untacked her mare and brushed her down, not paying attention to much except her task. She hummed a quiet song for company, soothing both her mare and herself as she filled the trough and pitched new hay into the stall after mucking it out. She didn't notice that Shakith had appeared, standing outside the stall until she had looked up from her sweeping.

"That's a stable-boy's job, girl, not a proud squire's. I thought you wanted to tell your knight-master where you were?"

"I did, but it seems it's already been done. One of the sparrows is carrying as message." Midori leaned on her broom and watched a rather big sparrow she had named, Cam, fly off with a rolled up scroll tied to his leg.

"Smart, real smart you can be sometimes, but don't let it get to your head, I don't give compliments lightly."

Midori nodded, "I understand."

The goddess of seers frowned, "I hope you do, girl. Knighthood calls for understanding, and it seems you've got it."

In a flash of white light the goddess disappeared, Midori stared for a moment then sighed and returned to her sweeping.

The squire thought about what she said about Nicola just before Kalen had left to the practice courts:

"_In times, she's in way over her head..." _Midori chuckled at the thought. _"Well, sometimes, so am I!"_


	32. Chapter 32: Granted Wishes

**Chapter 32**

Neal sighed as he finished in the infirmary and met Kel going to the practice courts. "It's strange isn't it?" he asked, walking with her.

"What is strange?" the lady knight answered, turning to her friend.

"That Midori…she never spends time with anyone anymore except that gods-cursed cat."

Kel nodded in understanding, "It's a Yamani's way of letting go. She's avoiding the people she fears she will lose. Don't worry Neal, it's just practice" Kel pat Neal's shoulder and left.

Neal nodded and noticed the sun was low in the sky, deciding to nap, he hurried to his own chambers and began settling in. Closing the draperies, his eyes came upon an all-too familiar object: A fan.

That was all he needed to see. His reserved emotions surfaced and as he gripped the fan and unfolded it, pictures played before his eyes: His wife's wonderful news of her pregnancy, the tears of joy…the preparations and congradulations among friends and family…Kel telling Neal of the prophecy, the shock and joy…Months of anxiety…Yuki's labor and death…the naming of the girl…Years of mourning, the tears of shame…

Tears falling from his eyes, Neal shut the fan and slumped to the ground, sobbing. "Why, gods _why,_ did she have to go?" the healer placed the fan back on the windowsill and let his arm slide back to his side. "I could have let her die and killed myself there…not this! _This_—this _waiting_ is killing me!"

**Must I? **

Must I cry another tear?

Must I cry for another year?

I wish your were near

I wish you were here

But I wait and want in vain

I knew sixteen years ago you were slain

Now there is only pain

Regret, sorrow and self-disdain

I watch oblivious to it all

I watch, wait and call

But all I receive is the echo down the hall

You are rising while I fall

As I read the last letter sent

I cry and want my tears to vent

My happiness, my joy, I'm wondering where it went

As I see many sunsets, walk many roads, and grow old and bent

Watching the rain

Watching as it wets the ground where you were lain

It washes away my pain

The memories, however, still remain

"Please, Goddess, bring her back. Take my pain away…That's all I want." Neal sniffed, head in his hands.

A woman's voice answered, soft, and consoling. "You have wept so many days, Sir Nealan of Queenscove. If this is a wish you make upon a star, the wish your heart beats…May it be granted."

Neal stood shakily and heard a soft whispering, the wind, had somehow opened the window and now blew into the room. Then all was quiet.

A soft voice broke the silence and a figure stepped into Neal's chambers and Neal gasped. "Yuki?"

The figure nodded and smiled, "The Goddess granted your wish, Neal…"


	33. Chapter 33: Conditions, Cavall, and Duel

Chapter 33 

A/N: Special mention to _Drop Your Oboe_ for inspiration from a line in her review: "The dead stay dead!"

Neal stood, starry-eyed, as his wife came toward him, Yamani mask hiding all emotion. Her kimono, a river of blue silk, whispered as Yuki reached out and touched his cheek, the barest feel of skin against skin, and Neal recoiled as if he had been slapped or stung. She studied him with deep brown eyes, sparkling with concern. "What's wrong?" she asked, her voice the same as it had been years ago.

By this time Neal had gone as white as the powder used in Yamani makeup. "Yuki? Is it really you?" he sputtered.

She nodded, taking a fan from her obi and opening it, hiding her frown of confusion. Snapping it shut she tucked it back into the sash and slipped on her mask. "You should lie down, Nealan, or at least sit."

Numbly, Neal did as she told him and instead missed the bed to fall to the hard wood floor and hitting his head. "I needed that" he muttered, "I must be going crazy"

The corners of Yuki's eyes crinkled and her eyes sparkled brightly, hiding laughter. "Nonsense Neal, you're fine and now we and Midori can live as a family."

"Yes, I'm going crazy." Neal shook his head. "Wait, let me get this straight, you died, have been dead for sixteen years, and now from a blast of wind, you pop out of nowhere?"

Yuki's eyes crinkled again as her husband's facial expressions changed from clueless, blank, to surprised and finally, as he stood, grinning like a madman, blissfully happy.

The knight and healer took the Yamani's hand, savoring the warmth her skin radiated. Kissing her knuckles, he glanced at her and smiled. "Why are you hiding again, love?" "I love it when you smile."

Yuki hid a blush at his simple request, but smiled nonetheless. "It's years of training, Meathead, Kel should have told you that."

Neal rolled his eyes and nodded, "She's told me." The knight and healer wrapped his arms around his wife, a thing he hadn't done in so long, and kissed her, glad to have her back and to hear their two heartbeats together once again.

But it was Yuki who pulled away, "Neal…I can't stay forever. Only when Midori dies do I rest again. Forever."

"What?"

"The Goddess told me that I have only until Midori dies, then I need to go back."

Meanwhile in Cavall…

Owen sat beside Lady Margarry at the supper table, laughing with her relatives over a joke. Glancing briefly at the window, out to the distant road he sighed and stared into his steaming carrot and basil soup.

"Are you expecting anyone to come, Owen?" her voice broke his daze and he turned to his betrothed and smiled, "Actually yes, my squire has apparently gone missing and I expected her to be here" his voice hinted both worry and anger.

"So you've taken on a girl squire? That's…" she paused in thought and grinned, "Jolly of you. So what is she like?"

"Her name is Midori and she's the daughter of one of my friends, Neal of Queenscove She's stubborn but determined, and she makes the craziest plans. She even suggested I come here."

"That was a good plan, Owen" Magarry replied, taking his hand and smiling.

Owen grinned and turned to the window as something tapped at the window. "It's one of Kel's sparrows and its got something." Owen stood and opened the window to let the bird deliver the message and to receive a cherry as a treat before flying back.

Owen opened the message, read, and sighed in relief. "Merric knows Midori's in Corus and won't be here until tomorrow or so."

"It is good that she is prompt when she means to be. " Wyldon said, "I hope you have taught her well, Jesslaw."

"I hope she stands up to your standards, my lord, she's to be the third lady knight, among others." Owen answered.

Corus… 

Midori had long since finished her horse's stall and taking a quick bath, and now was reading a book about different heroes. The one she liked best was the one about the struggling princess and her strive to rule a kingdom.

A knock interrupted her reading and she got up to answer the door, when she did, she was surprised to find Amyl. "Do you want to go practice? Bring your blade and bow, I'll go get mine and meet you there."

Midori nodded and collected her things and went to the practice courts, wondering who would win, for both her and Amyl were evenly matched.

Once there, after they had readied with the padding, Amyl pulled her blade from her sheath as did Midori and they stood, blades touching.

Amyl struck first, blade like a whirlwind as Midori struggled to block and to find an opening. When she found one, she lunged as Amyl parried and stepped back. Midori sidestepped as her friend brought her blade in a wide butterfly sweep. Midori grinned and brought her blade down to land with a sharp twang upon Amyl's, the sound echoed and as Amyl turned she found herself hilt to hilt with Midori. At this chance, Midori brought her height and weight to bear down on her slightly shorter friend, as Amyl struggled to regain her stance.

Finally as Amyl's knees gave, Midori brought her sword to kiss her friend's throat "Surrender, squire." She whispered, mock-coldly.

Amyl lowered her gaze and put up both hands, "I surrender."

Both looked up at the sound of cheering and noticed a crowd had gathered to watch them fight. Amyl lowered her gaze in embarrassment and Midori hid behind her mask as some squires and pages congratulated them.


	34. Chapter 34: Choosing a New Mount

Chapter 34 

**A/N: For those who have read the sequel to my first (quite long and considerably terrible to some) fanfic: Intertwined between Love and Death 2: Daughter Mage, you will probably remember that I put Sarralyn and Shalem together. Well, if memory serves, I believe Sarra was a year younger then Shalem. Remember Kel said quite a few chaps earlier: "He was going to turn six this week" Well…that would make Sarra five.**

**On with the story now.**

Midori set an arrow to the string and fired, watching as the arrow went off center while Amyl's smacked dead center. The bow _was_ her best weapon after all, and Midori wasn't surprised. Amyl suddenly fit two arrows to the string and fired, both arrows hit the center and broke the previous arrow in shards. Midori's eyebrows rose as Amyl bowed her head and tried to hide a blush as red as her hair. "It was nothing Midori, you've mastered both that sword of yours and the Yamani glaive, Oriana has mastered the sword, Emrys has the lance, Kalen the crossbow, Sheba the battleaxe and I've mastered the bow. We've got different weapons we're good at."

"No need to be embarrassed, Amyl" Midori clapped her friend on the shoulder as she saw Kalen speaking to the wildmage. A five-year-old girl stood beside her, black hair braided, and looking excited at something her mother was saying. Midori left Amyl to practice and walked over. The girl ran to the stables, giggling all the way, where new mounts were kept ignoring the calls of Daine. Rolling her eyes, Daine chuckled. "Come on Kalen, Sarralyn wants to show you the horses." "Slow down Sarra! Let us catch up!" she shouted.

Midori walked beside Kalen, noticing his quietness, and kept silent as Daine led them to the stables.

Sarra saw them, came over and tugged on her mother's shirt. "Come on, ma, I found a big horse for him."

"Do you remember which stall?" Daine asked.

Sarra nodded and tugged on her mother's shirt again as the group finally followed her. The horse they were led to looked very angry at the moment and shied away at Kalen's reach. Sarra tried to open the stall door to go inside but Daine quickly snatched her from the reach of the horse's teeth.

Holding a struggling Sarra Daine followed close behind Kalen as he began to look for a new mount. Daine finally put Sarralyn down and watched as he paused at bay-colored stallion's stall, watching in wonder as the horse put his nose up to Kalen's hand to sniff it. "His name's Copper and he seems to like you." The wildmage remarked.

"He does" chuckled Kalen.

"And you'll be glad to know, Kalen," Daine continued, "Copper was bred from desert horses and, if you wished for a mare to breed with him, for a pony to raise, you are able."

Kalen nodded in thanks, "Could I take him to my mare's old stall?"

Daine nodded, "You'll need my help."

Midori watched the two lead Copper out of the stall and out of the barn. She looked around and found Sarralyn missing, gazing around the stall, to her horror she found the girl trying again to open the angry horse's stall and almost had it open.

"Sarralyn!" she practically screamed, running to the girl. Sarra turned around, hearing Midori's outburst and, in doing so, unlatched the stall! The horse neighed in anger and knocked the stall door from its hinges, sending Sarra to her knees and smacking her head on the wood floor. Midori willed herself to run faster and felt her sword sway in its sheath, banging against her thigh.

Finally reaching Sarra, she checked the girl to make sure she was unscathed and just in a bit of a shock, and stood to face the prancing horse. "Shh, horse, it's alright, shh." Midori slowly made her way to the horse, which backed off further into the stall, eyes showing only the white. The horse reared and Midori dodged the hooves as she swiftly mounted and guided the horse away from Sarra with her knees, hanging onto his mane as he bucked and threw his head. "Run, Sarralyn! Now!" Midori shrieked, trying to keep the angry stallion away from the girl.

The stallion bucked and Midori was knocked from its back onto the ground, the horse's hooves above her. She gasped and rolled, nearly dodging the hooves. Gasping for breath, she yelled as a hoof smashed brutally against the side of her head, sending her immediately into darkness, blood running down her face and bruises littering her face and back.

Sarralyn ran from the stables without a word. But she needn't go far to reach her mother who was running for the stables with Kalen not far behind. "Oh gods, Sarra!" Daine exclaimed, picking her daughter up and holding her close. "What happened?"

"Midori saved me, ma." Sarra replied in a whisper.

At that answer Daine put Sarralyn down and told her sternly to not move. Kalen had already rushed in and was trying to drag Midori from under the stallion's hooves. Daine took control and took a rope and used it as a lead, tying it around the horse's neck to restrain him and to calm him down. "Hush, hoof-brother, hush" she crooned, patting the stallion's muzzle. "Take her to Baird." She told the squire.

"_So much blood…oh gods please…_ he thought.

Kalen bent down to Midori and winced at the blood on her face. Kalen also noticed a broken nose and split lip as he picked her up and cradled her in his grasp, running to the infirmary and feeling Midori's frail breathing like a rattle in his ears.

"Please don't make her die…" he hoped. Reaching the infirmary, Midori was from his grasp by healers, taken to a bed and examined with Gifts of many colors. Kalen was sent to a waiting room where Amyl sat. "You heard?" he asked, his voice sounding hollow. "Yes." she said, wringing a handkerchief in her hands, even though her eyes were dry. 

"It wasn't purposeful that she got hurt. Sarralyn, Daine's child, was in trouble with stallion and she tried to help."

"I know Kalen." Amyl replied, touching his arm. "I just hope she's going to be alright."


	35. Chapter 35: Awakening and Problems

Chapter 35 

A/N: Now in this chapter I'm putting an experience of my own in but I'm not going to reveal what _type_ it is until the end. You could probably guess from an earlier A/N in an earlier chapter.

A few hours later, a young healer came into the waiting room, a smile on his face as the two squires turned, expecting answers. "Midori is awake and wishes to see you." he replied as he led Amyl and Kalen to the bed.

They saw their friend sitting up in the bed, with the help of a healer, and smiled when she saw them and as the healer left. "Kalen, Amyl." She acknowledged, "I saw him."

"Who?" Amyl asked.

"The new King of Scanra, Denvar." she whispered. "He…was a influenced by a she-demon in the shape of a woman." Midori shuddered; "He came for me and almost had me but…something…something…" the squire began shaking uncontrollably and became rigid, eyes rolling in her head. It was then Amyl panicked, "Oh gods, she's seizing!" and looked around for a healer. When she saw all were busy, she lay Midori on her side and removed the hawk token around her neck to allow the airway to be kept open. Midori finally fell unconscious. Amyl had timed the whole episode and felt Midori's pulse. Amyl took a calming breath and told Kalen "The whole thing took about three and a half minutes. Father told me this was how ma died, but he didn't get there until the Dark God took her…" Amyl then instructed Kalen to gently lie Midori down and to stay with her until she came around.

Amyl took Midori's hand and squeezed it, much for her own comfort and to see if, even in unconsciousness, Midori had felt it.

A few minutes passed and Midori opened her eyes and looked confused, almost as if she didn't remember where she was. She tried to sit up, preferring the right side of her body then the left, and her arms shook with the weight and finally collapsed. Midori let Kalen sit her against the headboard and took a deep breath. "What happened?"

Amyl patted her shoulder. "You had a grand mal seizure, Midori. Caused by that head injury that horse gave you, but you're going to be fine now, just a little tired."

Midori nodded and slowly fell asleep, feeling Amyl's hand grip her own and Kalen stroking her hair as she succumbed to Ganiel's world of dream.

A/N: I don't think they called that type of seizure a grand mal at the time, but that is the type. I experienced that type and trust me it was scary.

**Sorry this chap was so short!**

**Any ideas for the next?**

**-Notebook**


	36. Chapter 36: Mother and Daughter

Chapter 36 

When Midori woke from her sleep, she heard voices. One voice she vaguely recognized as her father's and another she didn't recognize. She looked around and found Amyl and Kalen gone. Midori noticed, from open curtains, the moon, bright against a dark sky.

She then remembered a poem she had read once, at fief Queenscove, it was one she favored:

"I lay here in bed

Dreaming in my wake, so quiet

Moon watches while I rest."

Yuki watched from the doorframe, and her eyes crinkled in mirth. Neal wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her cheek. "Did I mention you look stunning in lavender?" he whispered.

"Yes, Neal, you did." She murmured, taking a seat in a waiting room chair. "Midori's so beautiful, it's a wonder she's alright though."

"Thank the gods she is." "That seizure she took, from the head wound, scared the life out of me!"

"Frightened me as well." Yuki replied, smoothing the outer robe of her light purple kimono and sighing. "Should we tell her?"

"About what?" Neal replied.

"The conditions of me being alive" she explained, "And that she'd be able to forfeit her training as a knight if she wanted."

They had discussed this issue earlier fearing another seizure would come about, but hadn't told their daughter, deciding not to worry her more.

"I'm surprised Amyl knew what to do while Midori was having the seizure." Yuki murmured.

"Merric told me after we found out, that was how his wife died and after that Amyl was apparently determined to learn how to help others." Neal answered, running a hand through his hair.

Yuki nodded and stood, going into the room where Midori lay in bed. "Midori?"

Midori turned and sighed, "Are you another illusion, Mother?" she asked.

"No. The gods have given me life." Yuki explained, voice soft.

Midori reached for her mother's hand and felt warmth radiate from it. She was surprised and frightened at the same time. "It _is_ you." She whispered, voice choked with tears of happiness as she wrapped her arms tightly around Yuki's waist, just wishing to be a child again.

Neal, leaning against the doorway, watched his daughter and wife, smiling.

**A/N: Now the next few chapters will be still in _this_ kinda 'timeline'. There will be hinting of a relationship and more BUT after the discussion with Jon chapter, things will begin to get confusing again. Just like her page years were 'sped up' I will speed up a few things to reach the chapters we've all been waiting for: the Ordeal and Knighthood. Then things will hopefully slow down.**

**I had a strange semi-dream of Midori's Ordeal last night, some strange, horrific things happened…But I was still awake.**

**Regards,**

**- Notebook**


	37. Chapter 37: A Cat's Confession

Chapter 37

Midori lay confined to bed for a week, testing her strength now and then. Finally one of the healers confirmed she could leave the bed but also gave her a glass bottle of medicine. "Take a spoonful each day, this'll prevent from any future attacks." the healer explained as she handed the bottle over. The squire hurried to the horses waiting at the gate for her. Kalen and she were to head to Cavall. Sir Bennel was waiting for Kalen there as well.

In a few moments, Midori and her lover were on the road to Cavall and would be there in two days or so.

"Look in the saddlebags." Kalen hid a smile as Midori gasped. "Nicola…and in the other…Faithful." Midori almost laughed at the sleeping cats but stifled it. "I think Nicole's overstuffed herself again." she murmured, noticing the slight bulge in Nacola's stomach.

The days flew by and soon they were in reach of fief Cavall. They rode into the gates and were met by a cheerful Margarry and a worried Owen. "Where've you been?" he asked, embracing her as she dismounted.

"Corus." She replied, waking both cats that glared at the rude awakening but leapt from the saddlebags and shape shifted nonetheless. Midori didn't notice how close Faithful and Nicola stood beside each other when they were called to follow a servant to their rooms.

Midori didn't complain when she heard that her rooms adjoined Owen's and that Kalen's room was near, she felt safe knowing they were close by. Owen had become like a second father to her and Kalen had become very overprotective of her nowadays.

Midori sat on the bed, after setting up a cot for Nicola and watched the early afternoon sun shine through her window, thinking of ways to break the early-knighthood business to her knight-master.

A sarcastic voice interrupted her thoughts: "Thinking of the future with Kalen aren't you?"

Midori turned to face a pale Nicola. "No, just business. Oh gods, you look terrible."

"I've felt terrible for the last two months!" the shifter snapped as she rushed to the privy and emptied her stomach.

Midori winced and noticed a difference in Nicola's appearance, not just the lack of color in her face. The shifter looked as if her clothes were beginning to tighten, generally around the waist, and her tiredness was evident by the dark circles below her eyes, her appetite had certainly increased but sometimes she would throw up most of it later. She had also gone to see Daine one or two times for her own 'matters.'

Nicola came out of the privy, stumbling as if she had tripped; Midori leapt to her feet and caught her as she collapsed on her knees, yowling and crying. "Why, gods, why?" she sobbed. Seeing Midori she gripped the girl's forearms and suddenly held her tightly. "Midori…don't get yourself killed in the battle…" she whispered.

"What?"

Nicole sighed, "Faithful showed me visions…its nothing." The shifter stood shakily and leaned on the wall for support.

Midori led her to the bed, "How long?"

"How long what?" Nicola looked surprised.

"How long have these symptoms been going on?" Midori crossed her arms over her chest.

Nicole answered, almost meekly. "Two months."

"Oh gods!" Midori had read up on cats and the later news was not going to be good. "Nicola you understand…?"

"I do. The shifter bowed her head for a moment. "Listen, Midori you deserve the truth, the symptoms don't lie…" she met the squire's green eyes with her own hazel-green, "I'm carrying Faithful's kittens."


	38. Chapter 38: Duel and True Blood

Chapter 38 

Midori just stared at the shifter and sighed, "That means…if the research was correct…your birth would be between 63 to 67 days!"

"No, I am a shifter, a human's pregnancy can last for nine months. The human gene in me is making sure my kittens stay within my womb for that full period, though after that, I'll have to watch myself because the cat gene will kick in and I'll have to be kept in bed for another 63 to 67 days. After _that_ the labor will begin. Trust me on this, I knows what I'm doing."

Midori sighed in relief but still the worry was seen in her face. "Does Faithful--" she was cut off by Nicole's answer.

"Yes he knows, what do you think I am? Of course I'd tell the father first!" Nicola's tone was stern but her eyes sparkled with happiness. "He was enthusiastic when I told him."

Midori grinned and shrugged off the thought and turned to the window. "I'm sure he was."

Nicola sat on the cot and shifted to a cat, curling up for a nap. "Never mind me. Just wake me when supper is ready."

"Alright." Midori replied, absentmindedly watching, from the window, as Kalen practiced his staff work, his movements swift and smooth. Getting an idea, she grabbed her glaive and ran outside to the practice courts.

She brought her glaive up with Kalen's staff and he backed off slightly and grinned, "I could use some competition." He sidestepped and lunged as she parried and stepped back. The late afternoon sun beat down on them as they fought, parried, lunging, sidestepping and dodging.

Sir Bennel of Tyra watched them from the sidelines, with raised eyebrows as Kalen ducked a rather deadly blow and caught the woman in the stomach, but jumped back as she recovered and stabbed. These two were rather—no very good with staff work and clearly showed it. He would have to speak with Sir Owen about moving the woman-squire to knighthood. If she proved to be this good, then her skills would benefit the realm greatly, as would Kalen's. Standing from his seat, he inquired a servant of Owen's whereabouts and went to find the knight.

Once outside Owen's rooms, he knocked and waited for an answer. When Owen did appear, Bennel cleared his throat: "Sir Owen, I have just had the pleasure of witnessing your squire and mine duel, and, by the gods, she is a wonder with that glaive!"

Owen chuckled, "You should thank my friend Sir Lady Keladry for the glaive practices, I've just helped her along the road to knighthood. Come on in."

He let the knight inside and closed the door. "I have a feeling this conversation isn't just about my squire's wonder with weaponry."

Sir Bennel chuckled, "No, Sir Owen, have you considered letting Midori take her shield early?"

"But she's only sixteen!" Owen protested, "and besides, I believe she wishes to take it with her other friends."

"Has she ever mentioned her shield to you?" Bennel asked, his tone light.

"No, but she has…" Owen suddenly trailed off and an almost-shocked expression crossed his face. Smoothly he replied, "Sir Bennel, do you know that Kalen and Midori are courting?"

The other knight's brows rose, "Courting? I heard no such thing."

Owen put his head in his hands and shook his head, "That girl has a lot of explaining to do."

Sir Bennel clenched his fist and mumbled, "Curse it boy, you _had_ to fall in love, didn't you?"

Owen looked up, and Sir Bennel stood and began pacing round the room. The two men turned away from each other and as Bennel left, Owen gazed at the two squires now fighting with practice swords and sighed heavily: "What will I do with you, Midori. You don't really want to earn the shield _now_, do you?"

Midori surrendered, as Kalen paused to catch his breath. "Gods your good, Midori" he gasped, he held out his hand and Midori took it, raising a skeptical brow. "Good? We're evenly-matched, I have yet to find a better swordsman whose willing to duel a woman."

Kalen nodded and sat on the bench and, looked down at his hands, which flickered and before his eyes he saw the sleek black feathers of the hawk with the red markings of blood. Shaking his head to clear it, he looked again and only saw his own palms. A voice, distinctively female, whispered in his mind: _"You saw your blood, boy. You, a pure tribesman of the Bloody Hawk, will you taint it now, with the blood of a Queenscove?"_

Kalen turned to Midori who was speaking with a knight and sighed, _"Shut up."_ he thought fiercely, _"She's the only true love I've ever known!"_

The woman laughed, a harsh cackling sound that hurt his ears, _"Would you give her up if you knew your tribe would never think her a proper wife? Would you leave her for a tribeswoman of the Bloody Hawk?"_

"_No!" "My parents would approve. My foster-mother was taught by Alanna the Lioness herself, and the tribe would have never let me train if they'd known, and look now, I'm only a year away from knighthood!" _Kalen thought angrily.

"Yes, true, but once you return home, will you permit her to stay a Tortallan?" "Will you force her to drop all Tortallan beliefs and turn your way?" the voice replied in a daring tone.

But Kalen didn't get a chance to reply, for the voice had suddenly disappeared.


	39. Chapter 39: Cry, hawk, cry

Chapter 39

Kalen stood and sighed, saying he was going to take a rest in his room. Once there, he collapsed in his bed but sleep never came. He kept seeing himself in the mirror, as the black hawk with traces of blood upon his feathers. Rubbing his temples, he closed his eyes and took sanctuary of the blackness beneath his lids. "Oh gods, just make it stop," he murmured aloud, sitting up.

Pacing around the room, he found himself suddenly changing into the hawk and as much as he willed to stop it, he couldn't. His cry for help was drowned out by the shriek his hawk-form let out and as he stumbled around, clumsy with his large wings, he accidentally broke the room's window and he fell, with no idea how to fly or to right himself he let the air tear at his feathers…If this was his true death, he didn't care anymore.

Midori heard a hawk's shriek and saw a streak of white running towards her, yowling and hissing. "Nicola?" Midori hurried to the panting cat and watched as she shifted to human form.

"Did you hear that?" Nicola asked.

"The hawk? Yes I did." Midori told her, confused.

"Come on!" Nicola hurried along, Midori running behind.

"Why?" Midori asked.

"I…I read a prophecy." Nicola told her, hazel-green eyes grim.

"What?" Midori was shocked.

"Just trust me on it!" Nicole took Midori's arm and kept running toward the last place she had last heard the sound.

_Cry, black hawk, cry to the day_

_Falling without a word to say_

_Now broken do you lay_

_Moonlit days, sunlit nights_

_You try and fly to some great height_

_But are clueless how to take flight_

_Gods meddled with your life_

_Left you with only strife_

_The crescent moon, thin as a knife_

_Prophecies only doom_

_As you pace in your room_

_A cat senses you, kittens in her womb_

_Terrified she is_

_Claws unsheathed, eyes narrowed, ready to hiss _

_But those haunted brown eyes she cannot miss_

_Cry, black hawk, cry_

_Falling…ready to die_

_Now broken…drowning in water do you lie_

**A/N: Does anyone have any ideas because after this I have only one and I'm running out fast! Any would be quite appreciated!**

**Regards,**

**- Notebook**


	40. Chapter 40: Another Filler chap

Chapter 40 

They ran to the edge of a large lake, where a window—a broken window overlooked. Midori looked around, feeling frustrated and jaded, and said, "Just _what_ are we looking for?" she asked Nicola, who had sat on the ground, shoulders sagging in exhaustion. "Look for feathers, particularly black with tints of red. They look like hawk feathers…" the shifter replied.

"Hawk feathers? Is that why I was dragged here for?" Midori glared at Nicola.

Nicola put her head in her hands and replied, "Wouldn't you help him as he has you many times?"

"Whom are you talking about?" Midori took a seat beside her friend.

The shifter sighed deeply, "Let me put it this way, the black hawk is important to you and…Midori…Kalen's hawk shape gives him immortality now."

"_What!" _the squire's face visibly paled, "You're mad!"

"No I am not." Nicola calmly replied. Midori rushed to stand when Nicola took her arm and she tripped. "Now you sit, I'm not done!"

"But he could drown out there!" "Wings are not good in water!" She argued.

"Listen. He can be killed only if slain, old age and sickness do not affect him. The gods can also kill him if they see fit, you have no control over this, you understand?"

Midori nodded, standing and running to dive in the lake.

"Wait!"

Midori turned, "What is it?"

"Eat this first." Nicola tossed her a pouch of some strange silver kelp that shone with a pulsing white light.

"Kelp?" Midori cocked an eyebrow.

"I carry some all the time. Trust me, this kelp is different." Nicola told her, "Just eat a few pieces of it, though a word of caution: You may want to be swimming when you eat those and I'm speaking from personal experience."

Midori discarded her tunic, leaving it on the ground, but left on her white shirt, took three pieces from the pouch and tossed the pouch back to Nicola. Diving into the chilly water, the water quickly embracing her in its grasp, she came up for air and ate one of the pieces of kelp, feeling the magic begin to work immediately. She ate the other two quickly and gasped as she tried to take a breath of air and felt her throat close up.

"Dive!" she heard Nicola order and as she sank, she realized she could breathe easier, just as she could above water. Then she felt her neck and touched the slits of gills, looking down she saw her legs had turned to an emerald-green tail and that it contrasted with the white shirt she wore.

Midori had only heard of mermaids in tales and poems, never dreaming she'd ever become one herself.

Swimming deeper, she saw a black form falling through the water, seemingly unconscious. She charged for it, bubbles streaming behind her.

Kalen sank lower into the water. Thoughts. Feelings. Blackness. Nothing ran through his mind except fear. The white light of the sun glistened on the surface and he struggled to swim, hawk wings dragging him down.

Suddenly he found himself being lifted to the white light of the sun. Was he dying? Or better yet saved?

Midori dragged Kalen out of the lake and as she did his hawk shape evaporated to his clothed human form. Nicola tossed a blanket over to him and he wrapped it around himself, he felt himself being helped up by both Midori and Nicola.

"Are you alright?" Midori asked, green eyes concerned.

"Yes. It was something I couldn't control." He explained.

"The shifting?" Nicole said as Kalen nodded.

"I believe the gods have given me the consequences of life after death." Kalen muttered, a slight smile creeping upon his face.

"Then I believe some of those consequences were good." Midori replied, kissing him.

A/N: Not the best chapter but it was hard to write. Next chappie is going to be…interesting. No weird twists though, I hope. There will be some weird lines in the next chap I think, depending on how it goes!

Ideas are always welcome!

AND…After the next chappie will be the convincing of Jon, with all the squires together again…and THEN the Chamber of Ordeal will be upon them…

Ideas for the Chamber scenes ARE MOST WELCOME! I may use it AND it would make for more horrific, interesting scenes!

**Regards,**

**- Notebook **


	41. Chapter 41: A Heartbeat Beside Mine

**Chapter 41**

Midori lay in bed that night, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. She closed her eyes for the fourth time, willing sleep to come, but it never did. "_Why_, in the name of Ganiel, can't I sleep?"

"Why don't you read a book or something?" Nicola mumbled, turning over to her back in cat-shape and covering her ears with the pillow.

"I've tried that." Midori replied dryly, turning over and resting her cheek against her hand and propping her elbow on the bed. "I've tried staring out the window, counting the stars, tried reading a book or a poem, heck, I've tried _writing_ one."

"Is that so bad?" Nicola grumbled, rolling her eyes.

"It is when the candles keep burning out on me!" "Stupid candles can't keep themselves lit."

"Don't bring your wrath on the objects of the room, Midori." Nicola then burst out laughing; rolling around and finally wiped her teary eyes with one paw. She sighed deeply, "I needed a laugh. That is the silliest thing I've ever heard!"

The squire rolled her eyes and turned away from the cat, pulling up the warm quilt around her shoulders. "Goodnight." She whispered.

She heard Nicola answer and closed her eyes and this time, the pull of sleep was stronger, but for some strange reason, she resisted. Kicking off the quilt, she nimbly stepped from the bed onto the chilly flagstone floor. She felt a shiver crawl up her spine and smoothed out the white nightgown, going to the privy and splashing water on her face.

Gazing in the water, she realized that her reflection had changed somewhat. Her nose had been broken almost twice, her lips had lost that delicate look, her skin had a more weather-beaten appearance to it and her eyes had lost that childhood spark. Was this what Kalen saw in her, and yet still loved? So he loved her, a woman beaten around by life, yet still strong enough to face her foe?

Midori turned from the water and walked to the door.

"Where are you going at this late hour?" asked a teasing voice.

"Out." Was all she said, before closing the door behind her.

What she had really meant was, she meant to visit Kalen and see if he was having the same problem and wanted to talk. She tentatively knocked on his door and waited for an answer, if none came, she would leave.

She waited for a while and finally he answered, dressed in a wrinkled shirt and breeches and looking tired, "Oh, Midori, it's you. Come in."

Midori walked in feeling rather awkward as the wind from the broken window chilled her. "It's cold in here." she whispered.

He nodded. "So...it's a nice night isn't it?"

Midori was surprised at how unsure they both sounded, perhaps it was the cold air or the way they both seemed to get closer together. "Yes, the stars and moon are nice tonight."

Kalen wrapped a quilt around himself, shivering as a strong gust of wind blew inside, ruffling Midori's hair and making her wrap her arms across her chest, shivering.

"Here." Kalen patted a spot on the bed where Midori gratefully sat as he put an arm around her shoulders, the quilt warming them both. Midori sighed deeply and leaned on his shoulder, "Do you think we'll ever"— she broke off, hesitant if to continue.

"We'll ever what?" Kalen asked, turning to her, the moonlight turning his deep brown eyes an alluring black. Midori imagined his eyes were the night sky, and the stars—the light of the moon—had come to dance. She was swept into the heat of the moment that she failed to notice anything as Kalen trailed kisses down her jawbone, and caressed her cheek with his hand, moving down to kiss her collarbone.

Midori turned away as he grasped her shoulders and smiled, "Did you mean: Do you ever think we'll ever make love, to give ourselves away?"

She sighed, "Yes."

"Do you wish to?"

Midori was surprised at how easily they spoke of this topic. "I-I don't know."

"Tell me what your heart tells you." He told her.

"My heart tells me this will be our last time. But my mind says that I should secure a home and a shield before all this."

"Then I trust you to make a decision that's what is best for you." Kalen finished.

Midori bit her lip in thought for a moment before spilling it out. "Could I sleep with you?"

Kalen looked baffled. "Pardon?"

"I didn't mean in _that_ context! I meant just a heartbeat beside mine."

Kalen chuckled, "I was just testing." He lay down and shifted over for Midori, who lay facing him, a sparkle in her eyes. She pulled the quilt over herself and her lover and, soon wrapped in his warmth, she fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

Tomorrow she would head back to Corus with Owen and Kalen, to convince her other friends to take their shields earlier and also to persuade the king to let them…It wasn't going to be an easy task.


	42. Chapter 42: Convincing Oriana and Sheba

Chapter 42 

**A/N: 200 reviews! Wow, you people really love this story! And I love all the feedback, it's really encouraging, so a big thanks goes to all the reviewers who have reviewed since Chapter 1.**

**Notebook**

**Now on to the story…**

Midori mounted her mare and waited for Owen and Kalen, excited to head home. Her mare apparently felt her tension and neighed. Nicola, who sat in one of the saddlebags, grumbled about being late but fell silent at Midori's frown.

Owen shook hands with Wyldon and the former training-master nodded, "From the reports of those two, you should consider moving them to knighthood as soon as possible. Their skills will benefit the realm greatly."

"Thank you, sir, I'll mention it to the king."

Wyldon nodded again and Owen mounted his stallion, turning him to the gate. Kalen had already mounted, as had Sir Bennel and they galloped out of Cavall with their hopes high.

Once safe in the city of Corus, the late afternoon sun at their backs, Midori hurried to greet Amyl who had dropped her bow and ran to hug her friend. "I was sure you would have been gone longer." She remarked, "Tonight's the night we convince Sheba, and Oriana to take the Ordeal early and win their shields."

"But when?" Midori asked, intrigued. She walked with Amyl through the halls and into Amyl's room.

"After supper, we tell them to meet us here, of course!" Amyl replied, leaping into her blankets. "Oh, and I spoke to my knight-master, Sir Alan of Pirates Swoop and…well it's going to be a surprise he's planning on the night we're all knighted. His brother and him have an idea for our shields, though I have no idea what it is." Amyl grinned and threw a pillow at her friend, "Why the gloomy look?" she laughed.

Midori attempted a smile but failed, "Amyl…I—don't know if—" Amyl furrowed her brows in confusion. "What are you trying to say, Midori?" she asked, gently, sitting up.

"I'm worried about…about all of us." Midori's eyes betrayed her true fear. Her everlasting fear of death still followed her like a shadow and glittered now in her eyes with unshed tears.

"You're afraid to die aren't you?" her friend whispered, light crystal-cobalt eyes understanding, as she hugged her friend, letting Midori cry on her shoulder.

"Yes, _yes_ I am. Who ever heard of a _knight_ afraid of _death, _Amyl?" Midori whispered fiercely, in a husky voice.

"Lady Alanna's afraid of spiders and from what I've heard, your own aunt is afraid of failure." Amyl replied, "Alan is afraid of losing his family and Thom afraid of feeling defenseless. Everyone is afraid of something, Midori."

"What's Merric afraid of Amyl?" Midori asked, facing her friend with a tearstained face.

At this, Amyl paused, "I-I think he's afraid of losing me…He already lost Ma, I don't think he could bear losing another…"

Midori held up a hand, "I understand now, Amyl. Come on supper's going to be ready."

Later… 

After supper, Amyl, Midori, Sheba and Oriana headed to Amyl's room to talk. None of them spoke as they walked and quickly found places around the room to sit.

Amyl locked the door and took a seat on the floor. She took a deep breath and began, "Sheba of Blue Harbor and Oriana of Galla—she maintained a straight face as she continued, "Me and Midori have decided to take our Ordeals early."

"What!" Oriana cried, silver eyes wide.

"That's insane!" Sheba whispered, frowning.

It was Midori who spoke next. "Well it is a benefit to both of us. Amyl wishes to help her father and I wish to do this for Kalen…" "And Oriana, I do know once you're knighted you will be at Emrys' side fighting off raids with him, and Sheba…You've wanted to bring honor to your family didn't you?"

"To avenge my father's death, yes, and that." Sheba replied, light honey-colored eyes flashing in anger.

"These are your chances and ours." Amyl spoke then, standing from the floor, as if to stare them down.

"These aren't chances, Amyl," Sheba defied, "Their death sentences."

Midori stood next, "So what if we die? I, myself am terrified of death…but I'm not afraid of dying for my dream…"

The three others froze and Midori suddenly remembered when she had first confronted her father about knighthood all those years ago:

Flashback 

"_Amyl's going train as a knight like Kel and the Lioness! She said Merric's going let her"_

_Neal's face went blank. "Is that so?" he inquired._

_Amyl nodded. "Da said I could"_

"_Can I train with her?" Midori's face was filled with a glowing hope that Neal fought to refuse. _

_A cold shiver slid down Neal's spine. _

"_Can I?" Midori repeated._

_Neal gazed at Midori, "Why?" he asked._

"_Because I want to become a pillar for the family's honor. Like you are" Midori stuck out her chin stubbornly, and crossed her arms._

"_Listen sprout, training will be hard"_

"_I'll train harder if I have to, Kel will help me!" Midori's eyes glinted with anticipation._

_Neal rubbed the back of his neck. "The Chamber of Ordeal--"_

"_That box of magic doesn't scare me!" Midori sneered._

"_That Chamber chewed me up and spat me out, Midori, it could kill you"_

"_I'm not afraid of dying for my dream…" Midori whispered._

End Flashback 

Midori waited for the other two to stand up and when they did, they nodded and put out their clenched hands.

"For honor and my family" Sheba whispered.

"For Emrys." Oriana said proudly.

"For my father." Amyl replied.

Midori paused for a second before replying: "For Kalen and my dream."

"For knighthood and friendship!" They said last line in unison.

"_Now all we have to do is convince Owen, Sir Bennel and their knight masters before we go the king."_ Midori thought, feeling pride and hope swell in her chest. This was working perfectly.

**A/N: Next chapter, they talk with their knight-masters and then Jon. Ordeals are coming up VERY SOON so be ready!**

**Regards,**

**- Notebook **


	43. Chapter 43: At the Gates of Hell

Chapter 43 

A/N: Now this chapter, I'm quite proud of. I particularly liked a few of the lines I came up with and of the queen's song. Here's the chapter 'where the darkness feeds on flesh and blood.' This is my darkest chapter yet, and where we are introduced to one of the monarchs that threaten Tortall.

**I hope I conveyed the emotions well!**

Sunlight woke Midori up that morning, and she groaned, turning on her left side only to be met with a startled pair of bleary hazel-green eyes. She yelped and fell out of the bed with a hard thump. Cursing and groaning, she got up and winced as her back muscles protested the movement and glowered at the grinning cat. "If you weren't in the condition you were now, I'd pull the sheets off and then you'll know what it feels like to be dumped from your bed at…what time is it?"

"About…time for me and you to get ready." Nicola stretched and yawned, shape shifting and standing to dress in light cotton breeches and shirt. Nicola's pregnancy was only slightly exposed through the shirt, though in another month or two it would begin to truly be apparent.

"That's not what I meant." Midori sighed, picking out clothes for the day. She dressed and rubbed her temples, slumping into her desk chair.

"You know you still need to talk to the king about your early knighthood." Nicola replied, "And talk to Owen."

"No need, I already heard." Owen replied. Midori jumped again, she hadn't heard him come in, and glared at Owen who grinned. "Ha, ha very funny." She muttered, putting her head in her hands.

Owen ruffled her hair and smiled, "I believe you mean: Ha, ha very jolly." "What makes you so jumpy today?"

"I'm nervous, that's all." Midori murmured her voice muffled by her hands.

"Nervous about…?"

"Talking to His Majesty about early knighthood." Owen and Midori answered at the same time.

"As I guessed," Owen murmured, kneeling so he was eye-to-eye to Midori, and sighed, "Do you really wish to—he swallowed hard and continued—"To take the Ordeal early?" "Do you really want to?" his tone revealed his concern and—was there a greater hint of fear?

"I want to, for friendship and to help the realm, the king needs younger knights. But… I don't know what will happen in the Chamber."

"The Chamber shows your greatest fears, Midori. Remember that." Owen pointed out.

"Why are you afraid for me?" Midori suddenly asked, out of curiosity.

"Some squires have gone mad and some threw themselves off the Needle to escape their nightmares the Chamber gave them and some…have even been killed by the Chamber." Owen met Midori's eyes with his own, "You've become like a daughter to me, Midori, and Neal should be proud of your progress, very proud…I'd hate to have failed you in any way!"

"You haven't, not in the least." Midori whispered, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"That's good to hear. Now I believe we're to go speak with the king?" Owen straightened and walked to the door.

"Wait, we have a few more people to bring first." Midori replied, standing and leading a bemused Owen down the halls.

Kalen and Sir Bennel of Tyra met them in the halls as well as, Amyl and Alan. Oriana waited with Sir Eosin of Goldenlake, the oldest nephew of Sir Raoul, at a table in the mess, with Sheba and Sir Pallaton of King's Reach.

Midori gestured for them to come over, and soon all ten of them, including Nicola, who was being carried by Midori, walked to the king's study.

As they walked, the walls melted to blood-soaked stone and the floor to shallow black water. Midori knew it was a vision, but the sudden draft that blew down her neck made her mind panic and her hand instinctively reach for a sword that wasn't there. Midori heard a scream and realized it wasn't hers but Oriana's. Midori noticed the source: Spiders scuttled across the walls, their gluey silk of glowing white sticking to her hand as she struggled through the water. _"They're in this vision too, they see it just as visibly as I do."_ She thought.

Owen drew his sword and led the group as the other knights withdrew their blades, surrounding the squires. "Follow our footsteps in the water, it's quite dark." Sir Bennel ordered. The chill that ran down Midori's neck gave her a coldness that no winter could match, it was if winter had come again. She shivered and felt Nicola begin to shift to human form. "You can't fight with me in the way. " she explained as Midori put her down and Nicola shifted to a fully clothed human, except for her hands, which had kept their cat shape. Nicola's eyes glowed and she moved near the front of the line.

"Nicola, no! Your kittens will be in danger." Midori cried as Nicola faced her with determined eyes, "I've got to help someway." She replied, "I can see in the dark better then you can."

Owen and the other knights formed a group around the squires and the shifter, two at the front and two at the back with one leading.

Midori could hear a soft humming noise, a sweet melody that calmed her nerves yet made her tense up all the same. It was the same melody, the singer was again the female she had heard in her dream after the horse had beaten her in the stables, and only the words were different this time.

They walked on, the melody getting louder, Midori's panic rising. The words whispered and weaved through Midori's mind, it cut through her thoughts and forced all other feelings away:

_Take yourself child_

_Go and flee this life_

_Sink into temptation_

_Sink and drown…_

_Release your anger and pain_

_Vengeance and bloodshed are yours_

_Sink into temptation_

_Sink and drown…_

Midori covered her ears with her hands and screamed defiance. She wouldn't submit.

_Run, run…hide from the voice_

_Hide, hide…run from the voice_

_The voice that beckons you sweet, innocent child_

_To me, come to me…_

"Who are you?" Midori demanded, eyes shut tight and tears pricking at her eyes. "Show yourself!"

I am Queen of Scanra 

_Queen of sorrows, majesty of pain_

_Temptress of the soul and mind_

_Tamer of fire, born from the ash_

_Keeper of the darkness and eclipser of the moon…and yet_

_I am only a fragment of the Hell you shall face_

She was still singing but for a moment her song was interrupted as the shriek of a hawk cut though the air and Midori fell to her knees in the water as the familiar shriek sounded again.

The woman chuckled, a deep sound that echoed around the reservoir, and spoke: "Take a good look at your lover, now child." Midori's head was forced to look at Kalen's crumpled body; he was on his knees, his body changing to that of a black hawk with blood-marked feathers and back to a human at random intervals, his screams of pain from the shifting, making tears well up in Midori's eyes. The woman's voice rang in her ears, "Is he who you love? This mere boy of seventeen is a monster now, naïve child, he is nothing but a shell of the man he once was."

"No!" she screamed, "no, no, no!"

"The darkness of the hawks bubble in his blood."

"No!" "It isn't true…please tell me it isn't true." Midori pled, tears falling like unseen prayers from her eyes. She saw Nicola try to help Kalen by talking to him. Two of the knights, Bennel and Pallaton, stood with their swords high. Eosin stood by a terrified Oriana, sword drawn, and Sheba tried to restrain a panicking Kalen, who had shifted again, with the help of Alan. Owen and Amyl knelt on each side of Midori, trying to keep her still.

But she was far from composed as the queen began singing again.

_Run, run…hide from the voice_

_Hide, hide…run from the voice_

_The voice that beckons you sweet, innocent child_

_To me, come to me…_

_Take yourself child_

_Go and flee this life_

_Sink into temptation_

_Sink and drown…_

_Queen of sorrows, majesty of pain_

_Temptress of the soul and mind_

_Tamer of fire, born from the ash_

_Keeper of the darkness and eclipser of the moon…and yet_

_I am only a fragment of the Hell you shall face_

_Only a fragment, only a glimpse_

_Only an illusion, only a fragment of what you shall face_

_Born from ash, tamer of fire_

_Keeper of your darkest dreams_

_Eclipser of the moon_

_Tempest of pain of sorrow_

_Run, run…hide from the voice_

_Hide, hide…run from the voice_

_The voice that beckons you sweet, innocent child_

_To me, come to me_

_Sink into temptation_

_Sink and drown_

_Come to thee…_

The woman laughed, "Welcome to my little corner of Hell."

The ground then pitched forward, sending knights and squires tumbling into a void of darkness that the black water had become. Midori's thoughts were in a mess as she fell through the void, a silent scream wedged in her throat. She couldn't scream in fright, she could only hide behind her years of Yamani calm as the void dumped them at the entrance of a temple made of black obsidian stone and large gates made from ginger wisps of flame.

"Please, you are my guests, enter if you wish." The woman crooned in a sickly-sweet manner.

Nicola helped Midori to her feet and held her forearm for Midori's comfort and her own, "This is one guest that wishes not to enter." She muttered, hand pressed briefly over her stomach, as if to protect the kittens in her womb.

"Come now, Nicola of Cria, your young will not be harmed." Came the reply.

"I do not trust one who deals in darkness." Nicole retorted.

"We were friends once, you and I…but you had to choose the way of a guardian and I, the tempter. But look at me now, foolish Nicole, I am a queen. A queen of a place where the darkness feeds on flesh and blood and the new Queen of Scanra, and you—she scoffed—a cat shifter with a supernatural beings' spawn in your womb."

Nicola hissed at this comment and her eyes flashed with anger, "I am proud to be who I am. Now send us home!"

From the tongues of the flaming gate, came a woman with skin as light as sun-beaten sand, with eyes as sharp and orange as the flames of the gate, and hair as black as ash. Her hair was piled atop her head and a crown of moonstone shone bright against her black locks. Her gown was a rich violet with a golden sash round her slender waist, and long lavender sleeves that dragged on the ground.

"I am Narcissa." The woman bowed slightly and raised her head to scrutinize the group, "Queen of Scanra and formally of Tusaine."

"We all know who you are." Sheba muttered, honey eyes turning molten gold with anger.

The woman smiled slightly, "Then tell me, Sheba of Blue Harbor, tell me who killed your father that one night when you were just a child of seven?"

Sheba's eyes sparkled with tears, but her face remained as stone, jaw set. Her body was tense and her fists clenched. "You. Your people raided and killed my father and left ma with no choice but to raise me, helpless and alone!" Her voice was harsh and held all the anger she had since kept hidden.

"And Oriana of Galla, no relation to Blayce the Gallan I suppose?" Narcissa's words were soft yet laced with spite.

Oriana bowed her head, "It's time you all knew the truth," she murmured to her friends as she faced the woman. "Blayce captured my ma, before his death, and raped her…my ma then remarried and I've always thought my foster-father was the father that conceived me but…" "I'll always be loyal to the Crown and _never_ to Scanra."

"Even if Midori of Queenscove's own aunt, Sir Lady Keladry of Masbolle, formerly of Mindelan, killed your father in the Scanran War?" Narcissa challenged.

"Even if." Oriana replied, words true.

Midori stepped up, face free of emotion, "Your raiders killed my uncle and cousin. Shalem was only five!"

"Such a large price to pay for a life so short." Narcissa said, mouth twitching. "Kalen Haimaid of the Bloody Hawk—she raised a hand and Kalen, now human again, was forced to listen—"Your true blood has awakened, yet you're viewed a monster. Your true mother, Kara, Shaman of the Bloody Hawk, died in childbirth, now how do you think she would have reacted if she learned her son was this…animal?"

Kalen sighed, "She would have turned me out, or raised me to control this…"

Narcissa nodded, "Yes." She then smiled bitterly as Amyl came forward, "What do you believe is right?" "You, the daughter of a priestess and yet you strive for you father's work of a knight, Why not honor your mother?"

Amyl came forward and joined her friends, the knights forming a half-circle around their charges, "I honor the gods and my mother yet I also honor my father and kingdom by becoming a lady knight."

Turning to Midori, Narcissa scowled, "There are traitors in this friendship, Queenscove, traitors who you've trusted with your most intimate secrets, even your life and love…" "Allies to Scanra are among you…what will you do if they turn on you?" "What will you do if King Denvar and I attack?" "A good knight chooses wisely, and clearly, you have not…"

Suddenly the vision faded and the ten were back in the hallway. Shakith stood before them, eyes skeptical, "Narcissa of Scanra is a great foe you all must face, her king is yet a greater one. If you speak to your king, he will believe your reasons for knighthood are true, for he is a good man." "Now go." Shakith disappeared in a swirl of white mist as the group of baffled squires and knights picked themselves up from the floor.

………………………………………………………………………………..

Jon sat in his study, organizing the papers on his desk, when he heard a knock. He told them to come in and the squires and their knight-master's entered. The king asked a servant to fetch Thayet and as the servant scurried off with a bow of his head, Jon turned to the group. "I hope there's been no problems with these squires."

"No sire," Bennel shook his head, ushering the squires to the front of the group. "In fact they'd like to speak with you concerning their knighthood."

The king nodded, folding his hands neatly on the desk, waiting for one of them to speak.

The study door then opened and Queen Thayet entered, nodding to the knights and squires before standing beside her husband.

Midori found herself compelled to speak, "Your Majesties, I'd like to—we all actually—would like to have our Ordeals early."

Jon's eyebrows rose. "You would?" "Why?" Thayet too looked surprised but remained silent.

Oriana spoke next, "For friendship."

Kalen spoke to explain, "I am taking my Ordeal a year earlier this fall and they would like to as well."

Jon tapped his bearded chin with a finger. "It seems wise, concerning the circumstances we've got ourselves in with Scanra, but do you truly wish to?"

They all nodded as Bennel spoke, "I've seen Kalen and Midori duel and, by the sword of Mithros, they're excellent in staff work. Kalen also can shoot a crossbow quite well, though he mainly practices the sword on ground. I haven't seen him duel mounted but I'm sure he has practiced."

Kalen nodded, "I have."

Alan spoke on Amyl's behalf to his godparents, "She is almost as good as Daine with the bow I've seen her and she has bested many of our own knights in archery."

Jon nodded and turned to Sir Pallaton who spoke for Sheba, "Sheba is a wonder with the battleaxe, I've trained her myself and she has done very well."

Eosin of Goldenlake spoke next, as the king listened, "Oriana is very quick when it comes to the blade and has been focusing on footwork and tricks with the daggers, incorporating her Shang training into the moves. I am proud to have seen her progress so quickly and well."

Owen spoke last. "It shocked me at first that she wished to train, but after telling me the reason today, I realized that her reckoning was true. The realm does need younger knights and if she's doing it for the realm, what better reason is there?"

Thayet smiled, "Those seem to be the only reason that come to mind, Sir Owen, considering our issues now. Scanra wishes to wage war and we could use the assistance these squires are willing to give."

After a long moment of thought, Jon finally nodded, "Your reasoning for their early knighthood is just. Their Ordeals will begin this fall with Squire Kalen's on the autumn equinox."

**_A/N:_**

_**IDEAS FOR ORDEALS ARE GREATLY APPRIECIATED FOR THE ORDEALS ARE PRACTICALLY GOING TO BE THE NEXT FEW CHAPS. **_

_**I'm only going to show Kalen's and Midori's however because they're Ordeals further the plot! **_

_**I MAY ALSO DO Amyl's ORDEAL if inspiration comes.**_

_**Plz. put ideas in reviews!**_

_**Regards,**_

**_- Notebook_**


	44. Chapter 44: First Four Ordeals

Chapter 44 

Spring came and went and the months cooled and the wind turned crisp as the leaves fell in the colors of fall, Kalen turned seventeen shortly after the autumn began. The food was abundant and happiness was apparent, as servants who normally worked silently, whistled as they did their work. Decorations were hung and the spicy aromas of cooking food wafted from the kitchens into the halls. The fall equinox was upon them.

And for a certain group of squires: their Ordeals. They had each taken their baths separately but sat together in the chapel, waiting the dawn.

When they exited the chapel, family members and other friends stood in a group, and parted to allow them passage as the great iron door opened for the first squire.

Sheba was the first to enter and by the time she came out, pale, hardly able to stand, and visibly shaking, the others knew she was not to speak of what happened and yet seeing even their strongest friend quivering like the leaves on a tree, unnerved them.

Oriana entered the next day and she too came out unscathed, but as Eosin tried to comfort her, she shied away, sobbing and telling others to leave her, that the horrors are ones none should see. Midori saw a wild look in Oriana's eyes but did not step up. Foolish terror held her back, the fear of Oriana's sanity; possibly lost like the determination she had displayed only moments before.

The morning of Amyl's Ordeal came and Amyl gulped as she was beaconed through the door, fear clearly visible in her eyes as she felt the crowd's gaze at her back. "I must be strong!" she murmured, listening as two knights instructed her in what she must do after departing the Chamber. She nodded and for a fleeting moment she looked back and met Midori's eyes giving her a shaky smile before clenching her fists and boldly entering the Chamber.

The last two Ordeals of the fall soon came in a blur. The night passed slowly and yet it was a night Midori of Queenscove would never forget…

Midori sat in Kalen's room, on his bed, while he sat by the dying fire, silent. After a moment she broke the tension. "Kalen…talk to me, I hate this silence…what's bothering you?"

Kalen didn't turn to face her as he replied, his voice emotionless. "The Chamber, Midori, that box from hell…"

Midori sighed and stared down at the floor, "I'm scared."

"I am too" his voice soft, "For once I wish I didn't have to face my fears."

She nodded, pictures flashing across her mind of Kalen's Ordeal and of the future. She shuddered and stood, walking over to Kalen and wrapped her arms around his neck, nuzzling her face into his shoulder.

"I'm not strong as you, love. You can hide your emotions while I must show them. And I-I can't face my fears without knowing _you_ will be safe." He whispered, brown eyes facing green.

"You're strong, Kalen, your love for others makes you strong." Midori murmured her eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

"Maybe love can't save us this time…" Kalen stood and wrapped his arms around Midori as she rested against him, tears falling like shining wishes upon the flagstone floor.

"It will! It will…it must!" she said fiercely, shaking her head in disbelief.

Kalen sighed sadly, and gazed at her tearstained face, still beautiful, in the glow of the embers. "Things don't always work the way we want. If they don't, remember this: As long as you wear that hawk, I'll always fly with you."

Midori only held him tighter and buried her head in his shoulder, sobbing. "Don't die, oh gods, don't die." She whispered.

Kalen hugged her, stroking her hair. "Love may not save me, Midori, but you can. You will keep me going, I'm doing this for the realm and you…"

She slept that night, nightmares plaguing her sleep and at dawn she woke up in tears.

Now standing before the door, among the crowd, she watched as Kalen walked to the door, was instructed and, before Midori had a chance to say goodbye to him, Kalen disappeared and all was silent as the iron door shut with a clang, echoing in Midori's ears.

Kalen stood in the Chamber, eyes wary and body tense. The Chamber's first vision appeared before his eyes: Of his tribe's demise. Raiders slew the men in battle, the women were carried off on horseback, screaming for their brothers, sons and fathers, and children died where they stood pierced by blades already stained with blood of their kin, their screams echoing and their blood spilling as red as the sunset's glow that spread across the golden sky. Kalen couldn't turn away, tears stinging his eyes as he saw his friends, his parents and his proud tribe succumbing to extinction. Desert dust swirled around and Kalen covered his eyes and as it died down he saw only skeletons remained.

A cool voice, slick as oil, echoed around him and, he soon realized, it was the Chamber speaking to him, "You're afraid of your tribe's death, boy…I see it in your face now." The voice laughed lightly, "I suppose a dousing of cool water will relieve the heat."

The second vision came and he suddenly was plunged into freezing water, he panicked, oddly remembering when Midori had rescued him almost seven years before in the pond.

Just as quickly as the second vision began, it ended, Kalen gulped in air, as if he had been underwater, yet his clothes were dry. The squire looked around the Chamber, and stood, _"What more can you throw at me?" _Kalen thought.

"Would you settle for this?" the Chamber mocked as the next vision was shown.

Kalen found he was just in the gardens, flowers and scene lit only by moonlight. He walked down a path, the stars giving him peace and the air cool on his face. He smiled and stopped in mid-step, eyes taking in a scene that broke his heart.

Midori stood looking stunning in a long gown of dark dusk blue that hung off well-defined shoulders and showed off her curvaceous form. Her face was hidden by shadow, but her voice rang clear: "Jarvis, the moon is beautiful tonight isn't it?"

A man stood at her side, strands of blonde hair falling into his clear blue eyes that twinkled deviously, "No more then you look in that gown." Jarvis remarked, taking her hand. Kalen frowned, and shook his head as he watched Jarvis kiss her and Midori leaning into the kiss, as if they had never been enemies but long-time lovers.

Kalen tore his gaze away, _"I can't watch any more…"_ he thought, willing the visions to stop.

"This is not part of your Ordeal, boy. The gods wish to speak with you…" the Chamber's voice faded and a white light blinded Kalen as he gasped and fell to his knees. Two figures emerged from the light: The Great Mother Goddess and—to Kalen's alarm—the Black God.

The Goddess placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and spoke, voice almost mournful. "Kalen Haimaid of the Bloody Hawk…Fly with peace."

His skin suddenly throbbed and he cried out in pain as it only intensified. It was like fire and ice, burning and cold. His throat, tight from swallowing his cries of agony and screams, finally let out a yell as gasped and shape shifted to the black hawk. As large black-red wings sprouted from his back and the wind began to pick up, blowing dust around the Chamber, the last words he uttered, though soft, were clear: "I did this for the realm and you."

As the Black God touched Kalen's brow with a hand of shadow, a torrent of flame gushed and surrounded Kalen, as he let out a screech so full of pain and sorrow it seemed to plea for his unanswered prayers as the flame licked at his hawk shape, draining him of his life. The gods had decided to kill him where no one could interfere. In the Chamber of Ordeal.

Kalen felt deaf as the flames burned and snarled, and he bowed his head feeling his tears of failure stinging in his eyes. He was weak, wounded and left to die, a mortal feeling the wrath of the gods and paying for the price of immortality.

He raised his head and he saw a pair of somber eyes sparkling with tears. The eyes of his lover, green as a pair of emeralds gazing at his exhausted state. Kalen felt her reach out to him and brush his cheek with a hand, the barest touch of skin to feathers.

As Kalen's eyes closed he reached out with his wing and touched the vision, which faded, beneath his touch, _"Love may not have saved me, Midori, but you have. Wear that token, and I'll fly with you…"_

The flames surrounding him roared and Kalen fell to his knees, succumbing to the sleep of true death, and buried in the tomb of flame. As the fire died, it left not ash, but only slightly burnt feathers traced with blood. The gods had slain Kalen of the Bloody Hawk and as everyone knew, once the gods bound the dead to rest…

The dead stayed dead.


	45. Chapter 45: Burnt Feathers

Chapter 45

Two men opened the Chamber door, and light spilled inside. Silence filled the crowd as Nicola, about six months pregnant now, walked over to the Chamber and her eyes went wide with anxiety and she ran inside, meowing and yowling.

"Someone grab that cat!" a person cried.

Midori stepped up, and walked into the darkness, calling Nicola's name She knew the crowd would think her strange for calling Nicola a human when they had seen her as a cat. "Come on, kitty," she crooned, pretending Nicola was her pet. "No time for games."

Nicola's whisper met her ears. "This is the only time I'll let that pass, but I need for you to come see this."

"How will I find you? I can hardly see."

"Can you see my eyes? They should be glowing." Nicola answered.

Midori saw, on the far side of the Chamber, Nicola's yellow-green eyes, bright against the darkness. She ran towards it, the smell of blood burning at her nostrils, bile rising in her throat and stomach churning as she drew closer.

"What are we looking for?" Midori asked, almost gagging.

Nicola shifted back to her humans form, and pulled at Midori's breeches telling her to kneel, "Look." Nicola gestured with a hand that glowed with a white light just enough for Midori to see.

The squire gasped and stumbled back, mouth agape and eyes frightened. "No." she whispered, "He couldn't have."

"He has." Came the shocked reply.

Midori put a hand in the crimson mess of blood and studied it and suddenly pictures flashed before her, the view from Kalen's eyes:

_Two figures emerged from a blinding light: The Great Mother Goddess and the Black God._

_The Goddess placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and spoke, voice almost mournful. "Kalen Haimaid of the Bloody Hawk…Fly with peace."_

_His skin suddenly throbbed and he cried out in pain as it only intensified. It was like fire and ice, burning and cold. His throat, tight from swallowing his cries of agony and screams, finally let out a yell as gasped and shape shifted to the black hawk. As large black-red wings sprouted from his back and the wind began to pick up, blowing dust around the Chamber, the last words he uttered, though soft, were clear: "I did this for the realm and you."_

Midori choked back a sob and buried her head in her hands; not caring if one was stained with blood. She felt his pain in her skin, his screams echoing in her ears. It was if she was living his hell all over again.

_As the Black God touched Kalen's brow with a hand of shadow, a torrent of flame gushed and surrounded Kalen, as he let out a screech so full of pain and sorrow it seemed to plea for his unanswered prayers as the flame licked at his hawk shape, draining him of his life._

Midori was aware of Nicola shaking her shoulders and calling her name but also more aware of the heat that surrounded her and of how weak she suddenly felt.

_Kalen felt deaf as the flames burned and snarled, and he bowed his head feeling his tears of failure stinging in his eyes. _"Love may not have saved me, Midori, but you have. Wear that token, and I'll fly with you…" _he whispered, through his pain._

The vision faded and Midori fell forward as Nicole caught her. "What did you see?" the shifter demanded.

"Kalen." Midori whispered, sitting up and picking up a feather that crumbled to ash in her palm.

Nicola averted her gaze. "His immortality destroyed him."

"No." Midori murmured, Yamani calm hiding her anger and grief. "The gods slew him…"


	46. Chapter 46: Midori's Ordeal and Shields

Chapter 46 

Midori walked inside the Chamber, two days after Kalen's Ordeal, and swallowed hard. Her breathing quickened as the door closed leaving her in the dark, she forced herself to calm, slipping on her Yamani mask. She walked through the Chamber of Ordeal, her steps echoing, but found no threat. Yet.

Unexpectedly, a voice spoke to her cool and slick as ice, the Chamber's voice surrounded her. "Hmm…I have seen one like you before, a Queenscove and the same Yamani calm, yes, I have. The green-eyed healer and the Protector of the Small…yes you are very similar in composure—yet there seems to be trouble beneath that mask."

Midori stood silent as the Chamber's first vision came.

She felt the sting of the cold water before her mind did and as she swam desperately, panicking in the water, she felt her lungs tighten and the waters glassy surface grow dark as a large piece of ice covered it and froze there. Mind reeling, she looked around for another hole but couldn't find it. The surge of panic grew as she pushed, slamming her shoulders against another piece of ice, hoping to form a hole…

Suddenly she was on her knees, gasping, though her clothes were dry. She closed her eyes and calmed herself before she found herself faced with another vision.

Jarvis took her hand and smiled a sickly smile as he began kissing her, lips rough against her skin. "Come," he said in a husky voice and kissed her knuckles. He led her to a door and opened it to reveal a bedroom. Wrist clutched painfully tight in his hand, she tried to wrench away but Jarvis held firm.

"Why so reluctant Midori?" he asked, eyes sparkling.

He suddenly pulled her closer, so his face was inches from hers. "You're such a pretty girl." he crooned, his fingers tangling in her hair, lips kissing her collarbone and jawbone. Midori was helpless as he hurt her, tossing away her virginity against her will.

The next vision came as quickly as the last one ended. This time she was on the floor, fully clothed and sobbing as Kalen hit her again. "How could you betray me!" he yelled, as she cowered against the wall.

Midori couldn't answer, in the Chamber she wasn't permitted to speak.

Kalen turned to her again, face livid with rage that made Midori flinch even before the blow came, hard across her cheek. "How?" "I thought you loved me, not him…Damn it Midori, why can't you answer me?"

Midori just lay silent, sobbing and cowering against the wall, helpless and hurting as the bruises throbbed and the cuts stung.

Drowning. Rape. Abuse. A Broken Heart. What next?

Suddenly the vision faded and Midori was left in complete darkness. Midori couldn't hear much except her own ragged breathing, and it frightened her to feel deaf and to feel almost blind. She dare not speak for to speak in the Chamber meant suicide. Midori felt tears course down her cheeks, as the shadows seemed to swallow her whole. She backed away and felt nothing solid, like a wall or object against her hands.

It was almost as if she were alone. Completely alone.

And suddenly she heard the whoosh of an arrow and felt its fire as the arrow dug into her chest. Her breath hitched in her throat as she heard the sounds of battle nearby. She gasped as the pain flared in her chest with each ragged breath, a fire that seemed to scorch her alive. Her eyes rolled in her head and her gasping subsided to a hoarse rasp. The fire was even in her mind, its glow seen in the blackness beneath her lids. She felt a wetness on her head and almost immediately knew it was her own blood. Silence met her ears and she felt frightened that she was alone. Suddenly, like an answered prayer, the burning sensation halted and she felt herself lifted into arms, chilled breath tickled her skin and a voice called her to a comforting light up ahead.

Death.

Midori was awoken by the Chamber's voice, "He will meet you soon, and child of Queenscove, you'd must be ready!"

Owen helped her up and she stumbled out of the Chamber, pale, scared and in need of a blade. She gazed upon the crowd and met her father and mother's eyes. She gave them a shaky smile as they hugged her along with her friends whom she met later that night.

She had passed the Ordeal.

That night the court had a small banquet in honor of the knights. Midori noticed all her friends dressed in their fief colors as she was dressed in the forest greens and browns of Queenscove. It was a festive night and the food was plentiful as was the air of excitement around them. Midori joked and laughed with her friends but the fun was cut short as the king rose from his throne and addressed the crowd. "I'm sure our squires here tonight have all waited for this moment. The shields of these knights have been made with the help of Master Thomas of Pirates Swoop and with these shields comes a title that demands respect and though these squires have taken their Ordeals early, the horrors they saw and will see are no different…"

The king paused and nodded slowly to the small group of squires. Amyl walked to the dais kneeled to one knee and bowed her head and the king drew his sword, tapping her head and shoulders. "Rise Sir Lady Amyl of Hollyrose, lady knight of Tortall. Remember your vows to the Crown and honor them."

Amyl rose and nodded, walking toward Thayet who slipped one of the four shields on her arm. Turning to the crowd, they saw only the Tortallan shield but Amyl knew Thom had something else planned.

Sheba walked to the dais, face determined. The woman kneeled to one knee and bowed her head and the king tapped her head and shoulders. "Rise Sir Lady Sheba of Blue Harbor, lady knight of Tortall. Remember your vows to the Crown and honor them."

Thayet slipped a shield onto her arm and Sheba went to stand with Amyl.

Oriana did the same, as the other two as did Midori and the crowd was silent as Jon spoke again, "There was to be another squire knighted tonight, the fifth shield is his, but he did not pass the Chamber of Ordeal…"

Thom rose from his seat, nodding to the monarchs as they sat back on their thrones. "I have cloaked these shields in a spell, so their outcome and titles are only known by the king, queen and I. Once I remove the spell, that title is granted to the person who carries the shield." The mage stepped up to the group of squires and spoke a word of power.

Instantly Amyl's shield was no longer of the Tortallan, but of a dove flying on a light blue background. "The Dove. Symbolizes the person to be a peacekeeper."

Thom stepped up to Oriana and spoke a word of power again, and Oriana's shield changed to that of a tigress rampant with a black background. "The Tigress. Impulsive and outspoken."

Again Thom whispered the words of magic and Sheba's shield changed to that of a black raven with a light purple background. "The Raven. Solemn and secretive."

Thom turned to Midori and uncloaked her shield from the spell. Hers was a green outline of a shield against an ocean- blue background. "The Defender. One who'd give up their lives for any cause."

And the last shield he uncovered was a black hawk against a red background. Kalen's shield. "The Hawk. Swift and sure."

Later that night as she hung up her shield and sword and slept that night, she felt a sense of overflowing pride. Knighthood was finally hers.


	47. Chapter 47: Battle against Scanra

Chapter 47 Amyl's POV 

I had been a knight for three months, almost four, and already battle was upon Tortall once again. I saw Midori had turned her mount to address the troops. She barked an order, sending the kingdom's soldiers in organized lines. "Now, you all know what to do. Tortall is our motherland, Fight for her!' the soldiers called out approval.

"_May the gods bless us all' _I thought as I saw Midori turned back to face the front.

With Midori in the lead followed by us, the troops walked on, their steps rhythmically pounding in the snow, a sound of drums in war. As the army crested over the brow of a hill, I saw their leader, the demon-possessed Denvar, hooded and robed. "Prepare to meet your fate' I heard Midori murmur, and I suddenly felt stronger.

Lifting her blade in bold fury, Midori yelled, "Charge!' We attacked at a run toward Denvar, weapons held high.

And battle began…

The sky I saw, was gray and sun-less, rain then began to batter down on the battlegrounds, thunder boomed, roaring in my ears, white lightning flickered and snaked it's way across the black sky. 

Arrows flew, swords clanged, orders, screams of pain and battle cries from either side filled the air. Gory bodies, armory and blood covered the once green grass; I saw brave men fall, and innocent cry for mercy.

Tears blinded my vision as she saw one sister cradle her brother's body as he died, a mother hold her limp child, dead in her arms. But the battle did not stop, no matter how hard I shut my eyes I couldn't block the horrid images from my mind's eye, no matter how I tried to block out the sound of battle, it hammered and echoed in my ears…

I saw Midori searched for Denvar and found him trying to slink away. She followed him, hatred burning in her eyes like adrenaline. After all he didn't deserve to live.

King Denvar whirled around to face the girl. This was he, the king whose heart forever fed on hate and fear, whose one ambition was to destroy.

His hideously scarred face could send an icy chill down your spine and make your face as pale as the whitest of newly fallen snow, His eyes were sunken deep into his skull, red and lifeless, as the eyes of Hell itself but they flared with wrath. I knew he was demon-possessed by the wild look in his eyes.

I heard Midori yell and saw her charge forward, sword high and glinting with a strange pale light. As I readied my bow for a clean shot, I crawled across the ground, dragging myself up with my feet and elbows. I aimed for Denvar, praying to the gods that this battle would end with all my friends out of harms way.

But was I proved wrong that day.

I failed to notice that Denvar had his bow ready until Midori was at least ten feet away and I cried out, screaming for her to watch out. I fumbled with my bow, palms sweaty, and managed to shoot and wound Denvar in the arm as I stumbled to my feet and, seemingly in slow motion, watched helpless as the arrow was fired. I screamed defiance as the arrow struck hard and penetrated the solid armor with a smack, sending Midori whirling off her feet and in the dirt with a cry.

I ran to her side and saw she wouldn't make it through the battle. That realization hit me hard and it still pains me that I could do nothing to save her. With each ragged breath I knew Midori was dying, the arrow wound deep and fatal.

With blood bubbling from her lungs and staining her lips she whispered to me: "Take my sword and end the war, Amyl."

As I felt tears blind my vision, I shook my head, "No, Midori, I can't, the honor's yours."

"I'm dying. Nothing's going to save me now." Midori let tears fall down her cheeks as she gripped my hand.

"You're facing your fears now." I realized.

Midori smiled an ironic smile. "I know. But this time I don't have to worry of dying a worthless death, I'll know I'll have not died alone…"

"Midori?"

"Yes?" My childhood friend turned to me, eyes full of pain.

"You were a good knight, you'd give your life for your friendships." I said, my words honest and true.

Midori gave a trembling smile and laughed, more blood spilling from her mouth. "So I would and have."

"Rest." The order came from my mouth in a rush, for I knew speaking was an effort.

"Oh, how much I'd like to, but I cannot." She murmured, face pale and eyes determined. "Take the sword and end it for us all…"

I suddenly turned, grasped Midori's sword, and with a yell, thrust it through what seemed metal, just as Denvar's sword came down for a killing blow. I felt his golden blood stain my face as it spurted out the wound I had made and felt Denvar's body collapse upon my shoulders as he fell dead. I grunted as I lifted the burden from my shoulders and turned back to Midori, panting.

What met my eyes, however, was a sight I never wished to see. Midori lay on the ground, black hair spilling over her shoulders and silver armor stained red with her own blood. A smile was on her ashen face; her green eyes staring, forever blind to the mortal world.

Sobs shook my body as I gazed, I felt her hand and tensed at its chill. "You can't be dead, not now…" I hugged her around the neck, sobbing. I remembered the day when Kalen was first buried, before his chance of immortality, and clasped the hawk token, hoping to see Midori's spirit.

I gasped when I did, and Midori only smiled, "Take care of yourself, Amyl, I'll be alright…"

I knew she was right and nodded, eyes downcast. "I know but…I'll still miss you."

Midori nodded. "You all will, but I'll still be with you. You have good memories to treasure. Keep the memories close and that way I'll always be with you."

I broke into sobs as Midori disappeared and as I dropped the token from shaking fingers. I heard the screech of a bird and looked to the sky and thought I saw a black hawk soaring past. Perhaps it was an illusion, but I shall never know.

I picked up my own sword, wiping it clean of blood and sheathed it. I took Midori's sword and carefully wiped down the blade before putting it back into her sheath. I choked up when it came to bring Midori back to the camp but I gathered her corpse up anyway. With a heavy heart, I led my horse to the camp head bowed the whole way. My eyes were swollen and my face tearstained. I didn't care as I led Midori through the chaos and aftermath of war. My hands are scarred and my face was bloody, stained with the wounds of war, yet there on the battlefield I didn't mind.

I try to explain Midori's death to Owen. I saw his face as I explained; saw the tears and shame on his face as he touched Midori's cheek cold. He spoke, his voice faint: "I didn't teach her enough…this was my fault…I failed her." He stormed off and entered a tent to possibly grieve.

Kel told me to collect the others and I did so without question. The others nodded as I explained, knowing they'd seen the vision of Midori's death in the Chamber too. Yet this vision left our hearts tainted with the world's darkness.

But this time the vision had turned to reality.


	48. Chapter 48: Memories Remembered

**Chapter 48 **

**A/N: This is the last chapter! It has almost all the poems from the story in here! **

**Amyl's POV **

The night tonight is beautiful, though my thoughts are dark. The moonlight dances upon the snow-covered ground and the stars twinkle in their innocence. I sit here now by the fire that is crackling softly and gaze out the window and remember the simpler days when Midori and I would play outside in the snow and pretend to be warrior-maidens like the late Alanna the Lioness or the aging Protector of the Small. We were only ten and foolish to what horrors knighthood would bring.

_Playing games by the old oak, of a knight in shining armor and damsels oh so distressed_

_Falling down in the autumn's leaves, tired and wanting to rest_

_I dream of riding down the hills, sun to my back and wind at my face_

It has been ten long years since the battle with Scanra and since Sir Merric of Hollyrose, my father, died in that battle, the responsibility of our home has fallen heavily on my shoulders and for me to manage the fief I gave up my shield and title. The shield hangs now above the mantle, with my sword.

_I think of my bravery, my fame_

_And how I brought glory to my family name_

_I pause for a moment in the winter frost_

_And wonder about the people whose lives have been lost _

I have turned to the way of the priestess, training in the convent for those ten years, and now am staying at Hollyrose for a while. Without the bustle of servants being heard or the usual crackling of the hearth and the sight of candles in the room next door, my father's room, the castle seems empty and I miss the usual busyness it used to have.

I have received few letters from Oriana, Emrys, and Sheba. They have been busy since the Midwinter festivities began and with their duties of knighthood. I will join them tomorrow in Corus, after finishing my own responsibilities here at home.

Ten years ago, Nicola of Cria gave birth to Faithful's kittens. It was a long and difficult labor, we thought that Nicola would die in childbirth, but with the assistance of the wildmage, Nicola was able to birth two healthy kittens. It was when Nicola's pain increased we began to worry: A third kitten had tangled itself in its own umbilical cord and couldn't be moved naturally. Daine used her wildmagic to carefully move the babe but when the shifter gave birth to the female kitten, she burst into sobs of grief, the third kitten had been born dead. Since then, the shifter hasn't been able to have any more children because the movement of the third kitten tore her womb. Nicole's never been the same carefree, sarcastic woman we knew.

The two children, a boy and girl, are fast learners and can shift like both their parents, the girl, Kia, can shift into a white cat with purple eyes and the boy, Brassal, into a black cat with hazel-green eyes. Nicola, although still saddened about the loss of her two kitten's sister, still raises them. Faithful has returned to the stars and we have never seen him in human form again.

Seven years ago, Oriana married Emrys and became Oriana of Northwatch. It was a simple wedding and I was surprised how our circle of friendship had changed since the battle and of how few of us were left. Only two of our members gone and yet our group felt incomplete without them.

Sheba has brought honor to her family and avenged her father's death with the demise of King Denvar and the Queen Narcissa. There have been recent reports of a young girl by the name of Kynatra Autumnleaf living in the wood on her own and scavenging food and clothes as she travels. Gossips say she has the same ash-black hair and orange eyes as Queen Narcissa, and many others think she is the queen's daughter. I just believe it to be fate's twisting of events.

The last letter I received from Oriana said that she and Emrys were doing well and that she was four months pregnant with her first child. If it was a boy, Kalen II, in remembrance of our friend, and if it was a girl, they would name her Midorè. I sent my blessings when I wrote back and told her I'd be there when the baby was born.

Sheba is courting a young man who, in fact, was a childhood friend of hers. I only hope they are doing well and that Midwinter brings many happy things for them.

Thinking now of Midwinter brings tears to my eyes for I remember the night when Midori and Kalen descended the grand staircase, looking as happy as ever, and when they danced at that one ball, their romance just blooming from that point on.

_I imagine I'm dancing in a dress of fine silk and lace_

_Dancing in the black of night_

_Twirling with the moonlight _

I remember when Kalen and Midori would ride together with us, laughing and having a good time, stealing kisses and hiding glances every so often. It was a romance stolen by death and brought back again by death. Like a rose after winter, it bloomed without darkness and no darkness remained.

_Roses symbolize love_

_Red symbolizes darkness_

_Is love dark?_

_Or is there darkness in love?_

I remember Midori's grief upon seeing the burnt feathers and puddle of blood. She ran out of the Chamber, screaming to the gods and sobbing. We, Sheba, Oriana and I tried to consol her, but she wouldn't listen. Neal came by later and Midori talked with him for a while.

He later told us that Midori was very upset and in need of rest and some time alone. We agreed and I went to speak with her about Kalen and found the door to be, surprisingly, unlocked. I peered inside and gasped. I don't really know why she had not locked the door but I had known her reason for the knife against her throat. Suicide.

Tears were in her eyes as she saw me enter, knife glinting in the candlelight. She held it against her throat, the tip just kissing her windpipe. I yelled for her to stop and she dropped the knife and fell to the ground in sobs. "Why?" She had cried, "why him?"

I had kneeled with her and tried to calm her. I told her to relax and that I knew what it was like to lose someone close. She had only sobbed harder and kept murmuring Kalen's name. I felt tears come to my own eyes as I thought of my mother and of Kalen.

As the months wore on, battle soon came and King Denvar threatened Tortall with war if the king did not surrender to Scanra. King Jonathan IV, killed later by natural causes, would not stand for his kingdom to be in jeopardy, so he ordered the troops to ride out at dawn. We agreed and Oriana, Sheba, Emrys, Midori and I rode out with the Third Company, Fifth Company and a group of the Riders.

I still hear the screams of the dying men and women in my ears, still see the pale face of my father, smell the warm blood on my hands and feel the rain as it pelted down upon us in torrents, slapping my face.

The climax of the battle brought me face to face with Denvar for the first time. His face was heavily scarred and bleeding from many reopened wounds, but the blood he bled wasn't red: it was gold. His eyes however were the color of rubies.

_I knew ten years ago you were slain_

_Now there is only pain_

_Regret, sorrow and self-disdain_

I stand now from the chair, the memory of Midori's lifeless face frozen in my mind. Oh gods it is ever so fresh that I can still feel the breeze carry the stench of blood and hear my own weeping as I try to explain Midori's death to Owen. I still see his face as I explained; see the tears and shame on his face as he touched Midori's cheek. I still remember the faint words he spoke: "I didn't teach her enough…this was my fault…I failed her."

I remember the shocked faces as we carried her through Corus on a stretcher:

"_Their back from the war…" Neal whispered._

_Neal met the Lioness' gaze but she then looked away._

_They saw two soldiers carrying a stretcher with the body of a young woman, Her face was pale, bruised and bloody, her tunic was blood-soaked. Her eyes, so like Neal's, were closed in eternal sleep._

_The healer walked over to her and stroked her cold cheek; his eyes were glazed over in silent remembrance. "Goodbye sprout…" He whispered, tears falling to fall on Midori's face._

Yukimi of Queenscove walked over to him and saw their daughter. At first she stood in shocked silence then, forgetting her Yamani training, buried her face in her hands, sobbing. Neal walked over to his wife and held her as she cried and begun to fade. "No." Neal murmured as his wife finally disappeared on the wind, her time as a mortal spent.

I remember the alarm that was caused the next morning when a maid found Nealan of Queenscove dead, a knife through his heart and a note on his bedside table, explaining his reason for suicide.

I remember their funerals, so short and yet so long. The line of mourners was short and yet many tears were cried. That day the four of us, all of our group that remained, took Midori's casket down to the burial grounds and watched as our friend's body was put below ground, down to the shadows. Her father's casket followed, put in another hole.

I remember the sky, seeing it as rain poured. It soaked through our clothes but that didn't matter at the time. I remember the wind whipping at my hair, tugging it from the pins. I remember crying and seeing past memories flash before my mind's eye.

Midori was with us from the time the third-year page Emrys of Northwatch sponsored her, from when she was made a squire, and all the things in-between, until this. Three months, almost four, since knighthood was granted and death had already taken her.

I remember everything from that one rain-soaked night.

Nicola sighed, holding two bundles close to her chest. She shook her head, "All this time training for her knighthood and…this is what it comes to?" "At sixteen?"

I saw Emrys nod, "I received my shield at eighteen and still I live to be almost twenty."

"We'll outlive her as we will Kalen." Sheba murmured, golden eyes facing the weeping sky.

I lifted my black veil and sigh, "At least they won't be separated…" I placed the hawk token on Midori's grave and turned to leave. "Death has come, so you must obey, go in peace my friend. " I whispered.

Watching the rain 

_Watching as it wets the ground where you were lain_

_It washes away my pain_

_The memories, however, still remain _

The other three nodded, turning from the gravestone and walking back with me to the castle. I looked back for a fleeting moment and noticed a golden hawk, what used to be the token, take flight and a black hawk beside her. Their spirits had passed together into the Peaceful Realms and I smiled at the thought.

That night I sung the song Midori had taught me two years before:

"Taken by the sunsets glow, the seas so calm, I wait for you lover, I'll wait for you.

Taken by your charm, hung from your kindness…Love has slain me on fields of red roses, oh love has spilled the blood of a fair maiden whose heart was aflutter."

"Love has slain me in the glow of sunset, but if my heart shall fail me now, oh let the gods be wrong, I know I'll wait for you lover, I'll keep on waiting until the suns stop setting and darkness banishes all…"

It was a song she must've made on a dreary night with nothing more to do except drift into a pleasant daze and think.

We sorted through Midori's things, the next morning, and I kept her books of poetry refusing to give them to the castle's huge library, I also kept Midori's bow. Oriana kept her sword; Sheba got to keep some of Midori's jewelry and Emrys most of the maps and a few daggers. It was heartbreaking for all of us to pilfer her things like this, but I knew Midori would understand.

I pause and notice a long sheet of parchment, folded and tucked inside a book of poetry. Curious I opened the book and unfolded the paper. It was a letter:

_Midori,_

_It is only three more years until the dreaded Ordeal, if you're as scared as I, don't be. The gods have a good plan for the next Queenscove and lady knight. I look outside my window and see the sun is shining bright and the grass is finally starting to turn green, the scene is beautiful. Off to the left I see the stables and I remember our ride early in the morning in the winter, some time ago, and how you asked me if I had ever been in love._

_I was not so sure then, but I am now. I am completely sure that love has blessed us, as it has many others. Emrys has been assigned to border patrol this spring and Oriana told me that after she is knighted, she would join him. Sheba is well and so is Amyl, so I've heard. _

_You're turning sixteen this spring aren't you? I remember when you nearly forgot to get a gift this fall for my birthday; it still makes me laugh the way you hurried on about a simple thing I could've done without. Still, it amazes me how much we've changed over the years._

_I will always stick by your side this life and the next. Remember that._

_Happy early birthday love,_

_Kalen_

This letter was possibly sent just months before her birthday, before Kalen's ride in the forest and his death, before his chance of immortality. Midori must've kept it in the trunk and tucked it inside this book.

I look inside the book of poetry and smile at the poem. This poem spoke of love after death…

**I Will Always Love You **

_When the seas are rough all you can do is wait_

_But when morning comes it'll be too late_

_You'll stop at my gate_

_And remember the good times we had_

_Before the ship sank, and all was sad_

_You knew love was fragile, you knew love was dear_

_But all was forgotten when I was near_

_Left far behind was your grief, and all your fear_

_Know this and know it well_

_Even if you die and go to hell_

_Even if you feel love is gone and that fear is born anew_

_I will always love you_

I put the book back on the shelf and sighed, staring out at the whipping gale of snow outside. "Rest in peace, Midori of Queenscove, soar in honor and sing to the deep blue skies. Love with your final heartbeat, go in peace, laugh in joy and carry your shield in pride."

Her gravestone reads:

_Sir Lady Midori of Queenscove_

_Spring 633- Early Autumn 649_

_Beloved daughter, friend, lover, squire and lady knight_

Live with the gods today and until the end of time…

* * *

You may pass into Death—So that Love may never…

**Out of Amyl's POV

* * *

**

And so ends the tale of Midori, a young dreamer, born in the spring of 633, who grew to be a strong woman, a woman who loved and lost and persevered even in the bleakest moments. A woman who gave her life in the War of 649, dying at the age of sixteen, but dying for her realm and for her lifelong dream. The dream of knighthood that was stolen so soon.

Even in death, Midori's soul still wanders, some say in the form of a golden hawk.

_I imagine my heart has taken wing_

_Soaring over to the old times, over to when my heart could sing_

It's been so long since I felt you near 

_Too long since I saw you here_

_Down my cheeks slips a tear_

_Am I to wait for another year?_

And they're suspicions are correct.

It is said, that when the rain pours down and the moon is bright against the sky, two hawks can be seen soaring through the sky. One with feathers as golden as the sunrise and the other as black as night with traces of red upon his feathers. They are mates and free from the horrors of death. For death has already passed them and brought them together again. They once were truly humans but are now blessed with the shapes of hawks for reasons unidentified. Only the gods have known.

_I dream of running down the hills, sun to my back and wind at my face_

_I imagine I'm dancing in a dress of fine silk and lace_

_Back in another time another place_

_Dreaming with you in the moonlight_

_Dancing with you in the sunlight_

_Morning brings me back to my plight_

_Night brings me back to your calming light _

_I look in the mirror and see my eyes have lost the glow_

_The shimmer that I always let you know_

_How could I have lost you, or let you go?_

All that we see is a dance of love, and of freedom through the rains of despair. It gives us hope now and there is a fire where there should have been a chill.

After the hard winters, spring comes again with green grass. The changing of the seasons, but in this case, the death of one generation to let another generation live.

The image of the hawks brings us from the wintry chill of the _Yuki_ to the _Midori_ days of spring.

The changing of the seasons…the changing of a generation.

_I couldn't tear my gaze; you had caught me like fish in your net at sea_

_You've opened my heart and forever since held the key_

That shall never last. For when Midori of Queenscove died, besides being the youngest knight in history…

She was also the last of the Queenscove bloodline.

_Kalen, you're a part of me_

_You were, you are, and you will always be._

**-The End- **

**A/N: That last poem isn't mention earlier in story at all until now, BUT it's Midori's last poem to Kalen…**

**Thanks to ALL the reviewers who reviewed this story and to those who gave me ideas when I was stuck. I feel sad that I killed both Midori and Kalen off without Midori at least having children or getting married. Then I could make a sequel hint /hint**

**Should I make a sequel anyway? With Midori living in the Divine Realms with Kalen? Should they have a son or daughter who travels to the Mortal Realms to seek something that will bring great demise to Tortall if used in the wrong hands? Like something MADE from a fragment of the Dominion Jewel?**

**Please tell me in reviews and if you do want a sequel I'll try and create something…**

**Regards,**

**- Notebook **


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